this blog may be exaggerated. it may not be. you'll never know.

So, in all fairness, I will admit I had a few drinks tonight at the wormy dog. It started out as a good time, but as happens periodically, especially when it concerns PMS, sometimes things get emotional. SO. That said, I'd like to say thank you to the man who saved my night. You know who you are. And in another life, we had a beautiful thing :) I can tell.

Next, I would just like to comment on something. Watching TV sparked my thoughts on this billion and a half dollar initiative promoting marriage that the Bush administration has written. This initiative encourages straight people to get married. My only question is: why? Here is Ashly's experience with marriage:

1) My parents put me through 21 years of hell with their marriage. In my opinion, their divorce was the best thing that ever happened to our family.

2) I have two ex's that I spent significant portions of my life with that are now married and have children and have randomly ended up on my doorstep saying: "What happened to us?" and, "I still love you."

3) A significant amount of my time is spent forming and fighting forming attachments to people who are married or just as good as married. Keep in mind, these attachments are two way streets.

4) Pretty much every married woman I know, except one whom I greatly admire, is currently or has recently been on valium, prozac, zoloft, efexor, and/or a whole FDA approved anti-depressant drug list.

So, this leads me to echo the sentiments of Sarah Jessica Parker in the fabulous movie Miami Rhapsody:
"Why the rush to set a date? So we can hurry up and have affairs on each other??"

I think people just need to calm down and think about it loooooong and hard before they make a lifelong commitment. Don't do it cause you feel like you have to. God, if I had a dollar. There's nothing wrong with being alone! The sex is so much better when you don't feel obligated!!

Not one of my friends has blogged today. What's everybody doing? Well, I hope it's not so serious that you guys can't make it out tonight. I, for one, plan on partying my ass off.

I guess there's not that much interesting going on today. I'm gettin ready to go do some much needed laundry. Otherwise, Ashly will be going commando tomorrow :)

I can hear at least two of you going, "Hmmm. That wouldn't be so bad."
Shush.

Anyway, everybody better come out tonight ready to par-tay! Hopefully something wild and crazy will happen! We'll see.

so far...

I've received offers of:
candle light
wine
massage
dinners
movies
and a private poetry reading

Apparently I have a nice voice. Ok boys. Are you listening? First of all, I'd like to know where you came from. I was under the impression that KISS only had 30 year old soccer mom listeners. I guess not. Secondly, if you wanna meet me, don't send me an email, k. You're gonna have to come out to the wormy dog and work your magic just like every other guy has to. Got it?

Anyway, sorry I haven't blogged til now. I've been moving very heavy office furniture all day and sweating my ass off. And my PC got crunched in the process, so mr. computer man is going to have to come out and take a look at it Monday. That's if it doesn't snow, which of course, I hope it does!! I love snow!!!

Anyway, hope everybody had a fabulous Thursday and remember, Thursday is porn night on HBO!

consider yourself educated.

So I shamelessly plugged my site today on Phil and Drew. And hopefully all my friends, including Whitney and Belle du Jour, will get residuals. Now thanks to Phil, Drew, & Kaci, the world is a little wiser when it comes to the subject of blogs.

Dad and I sat at Rib Crib tonight for close to three hours talking about music and the Oklahoma scene. He's totally into it. He made me promise that next time Badwater was at the dog that I would take him with me. I said, "Dad, there will be alot of alcohol." But he didn't seem to mind. So I'm sure it will be an interesting night. He has the same philosophy as I do when it comes to music, the louder the better. I was raised on tweeters, woofers, and the Eagles up as loud as they would possibly go. I guess it stuck. Apparently it's in my blood.

And I would also like to send out one major WTF to Eric for booking Tucker Road again on February 27th. "They bring their own people blah blah blah." Man, we gotta have standards. And trust me, me and my friends will drink enough to make up for whatever profit you lose if you promise not to ever book them again.

Enough said.

The Bee Box

in this small box, my love
you'll not find a ring,
but instead, a brave little bee
he'll be dead by morn,
having given his life
defending his flowers against me.
i felt his sting
while picking the small, purple pansies
growing wild along the roadside
in hopes of an afternoon bouquet for you.
and i grieved the sting
more for him than me,
knowing full well the price he paid
for my small pain.
and i allowed him his victory,
leaving his flowers as a memory
and brought you instead
this brave little bee
who proves there is love
even in the smallest of things.

Lowell Parker

Everyone seems to be really busy today and lost in the hustle and bustle. Hope this makes you stop for a minute and go, "Aaah," and remember the person you love.

Well, I suppose I don't really have anything useful to say. But apparently, neither do any of my friends. So far, the discussions today have centered around hair bands and various other types of hair. Ick.

Speaking of ick, I read something kind of interesting today. You know the lady in My Big Fat Greek Wedding that had the tumor removed and it was actually her siamese twin? Apparently something like that happened in real life recently. The New England Medical Journal reported that a woman had apparently conceived "twins." However, upon further investigation, one of the embryos was actually her undeveloped twin that had fused with her in utero. And on top of that, the other embryo that was supposed to be the child she just conceived received cells only from the fused "twin." So she was technically not even biologically related to at least one of the embryos she was carrying. What are the odds?

And in other news, the mayor's race is on in OKC. Our beloved Mr. Humphreys will be vying for a seat in the senate. The choices for mayor don't look altogether promising. There's actually a guy running whose name is Frosty Peak. Don't get me started. And Mick Cornett, who used to be a newscaster back when he still had hair, has the most god-awful jingle I've ever heard in my life. I wish somebody fun would run for mayor... like... Eric Schiltz. Bob Barry Jr. One of the Mathis Brothers. The dude on the discount furniture commercials. Kevin Miller. Any other ideas?

do this

I want all of my faithful blog readers to try this at least once in the next twenty-four hours. You can thank me later.

I did this today in my dream class. It is a testament to how much nervous energy we use up in a day by listening to all of the chattering thoughts that run through our mind and how calming it can be when we learn to focus. This only takes five minutes.

3, 2, 1
Look around and describe in your head 3 objects that you see. Describe them by saying, "I see..."

Listen to the sounds around you (sometimes it helps to close your eyes). Describe 3 sounds that you hear. Describe them by saying, "I hear..."

Concentrate on your body. Describe 3 things that you feel physically. Describe them by saying, "I feel..." (my hair scratching the back of my neck, for instance.)

Repeat the process for seeing, hearing, and feeling, on this time use 2 things and don't use the same things you used the first time.

Repeat the process one more time for each of the senses. This time only describe one thing for each. Then just sit and be quiet for two minutes.

If you're not totally relaxed by this point, I'll give you your money back :) This is also a good exercise to do before you begin something that requires a lot of thought. Many people feel more alert and aware, some people even say that they see colors more vibrantly than before the exercise. I use it for a great relaxation technique before I go to sleep, because I always have trouble turning the brain off to get some sleep.

Try it and let me know how it goes.

thanks matt

I've been begging my so very talented friends to draw me some new graphics for the website. I said, "Something girly." Ragan said, "Like a flower?" I said, "Um. No." This is what I got:

Matt's lovely picture

Well, i'm sitting here at work with a to go box full of Aloha Garden goodies. They have a to go buffet for $6. Their only request is that the box is able to be shut completely. I can't imagine filling a to go box that full. But today I thought, what the heck, maybe I'll try. I didn't quite make it, but pretty damn near. I'm stuffed and I've only eaten about a quarter of it. I piled in two eggrolls, vegetable lowmein, sweet & sour shrimp and chicken and general tso chicken. This is a lot of food. But it's good. That's why I love Aloha Garden. Plus the ladies who work there are super nice. They always ask me how my day is going. You don't find that much anymore.

Well, today we're doing the old switcharoo. We're getting new office furniture so I gotta clean out my desk and get ready for the new one. Hey, maybe I'll take a picture :) Anyway, hope everyone else's day is fantabulous!

10 minutes before class

I've got a few seconds before I move onward through the wind and fog into my Dream Interpretation class. My good friend Jaimie just sat down next to me and he's writing a Thank You letter to the President for giving him a scholarship. Jaimie rocks. So much fun!

My friends Lauren and Jen are sitting right behind me working on school stuff. You gotta love last minute cramming. You know what I hate? When people are overtly vague. Is that an oxymoron? Anyway, I was on a call with a very close friend this morning and I asked him if I could call him back in 2 minutes. He said, "No, I'm going to be unavailable." What am I a client now or something? "Unavailable" Why so vague all of the sudden. Keep in mind, this is a person I know better than the back of my hand. Whatever. Fine be a snob.

Well, I guess it's off to talk about Freud and why we all want to kill our opposite sex parent and sleep with the other one and how that comes out in our dreams. I'll let ya know how it turns out.

Rock n roll.

Weekend Memories

1. drunk girl falling down
2. hotel california
3. spectator
4. josh as wasted as he's ever been
5. jager and red-headed sluts
6. a back rub
7. a slew of text messages
8. an emotional phone call
9. two friends who made good decisions: one, what to do with his life; the other, what not to do with his life
10. three crowded bars
11. big white guy in his pinstriped pimpsuit at henry hudsons
12. fumbled kisses
13. i love you. you what?
14. a portable mattress
15. crazed soccer moms and paint huffing dads
16. win a date with drew schroder
17. marshall doesn't like to roll em while he's driving
18. paint thinner as laundry detergent (gets out oil stains apparently)
19. dirty martinis
20. colorado bulldogs
21. a soul mate
22. a whole bottle of crown
23. projectile vomiting at 5 a.m.

so. i'm going to spend the rest of the day rehydrating myself and catching up on some much needed sleep.

snow

it's gettin nasty outside. i think we're headin out for the day. have lots to blog. will do it when i get home. provided i do not get swallowed by the big jersey cotton monster that sits in the middle of my bedroom :)

2:42 a.m. Sunday Morning

Had a good time. Could have done without Tucker Road and their cover songs. Great Divide was Great Divide. Good Times.

Think I overdid it in more ways than one.

I feel like an idiot.

Lesson to be learned: Don't overstep your bounds with the alcohol kiddos.

thank you ryin

Here is my masterpiece. If I lived in NYC I could sell this for at least $500... considering all copyrights to creative ideas have been damned to hell. Oh well, maybe someday.

Consider the deeper implications of this creation. After all, it was created by an enormously complex woman in her twenties after a few drinks at 3 a.m. What does it all mean??

Make your own.

For the last two months, there has been a massive quarter mile long plywood wall built up at school to keep people out of the construction area of the new music school. This wall runs right in front of and inbetween the College of Arts & Sciences, the school of music and the art building. Suddenly, this week the wall has become covered with various political and your basic general philosophical graffiti.

For a few days there were raised eyebrows as to whether this activity was deemed appropriate or not. However, the president declared the wall open to all who would express themselves in today's copy of the campus newspaper.

The wall is littered with anti-war and anti-Bush statements, as well as a section called "Evil Doers Remembered." This section is my favorite. All fascist, communist, and evil dictators of all time are listed there, along with the teletubbies and the Olsen twins. Still, some people have called the Great Wall "ethically suspect." I say to those people, "Back the f-- off." It's a liberal arts school where people's minds and lives are growing and changing. You cannot build a huge plywood wall in front of a school full of people who consider themselves to be artists and expect them not to make their respective marks on this massive, inviting, blank canvas.

This is what college is about. It's about discovering your voice and expressing yourself, and of course, learning how to party all night and still make it to class in the morning.

oh yeah

First let me say, I got the school thing worked out. However, I did have to take on 6 more hours, which means I will be slightly busier. So much for the easy last semester I was trying to take.

Secondly, has anyone seen 40 Days & 40 Nights with Josh Hartnett and Shannyn Sossamon? Two words: flower scene. O. M. G. That's what I'm talking about. Guys don't know they have that kind of power. It's all in how you use it.

my world

In the tradition of Ryin and Ragan, here's a glimpse into my little non-profit world :)


This is my desk :) This is where all the fabulous blogging takes place!


This is my boss and partner in some serious crime. She's eating cheese.


This is my girl Kerry. She's a volunteer and as you can tell, she's hard at work.

Yay for my office!

Ohm

I'm trying to relax. Breathe in, breathe out. Close your eyes and find your happy place. This blog will be full of stressful yet boring details about my miniscule little life. If you don't give a rat's ass or don't have time, go back to your work and have a great day.

For those of you still with me, my life has become a shrine to utter chaos in the last twenty-four hours. It all started yesterday at 4p.m., when after three years of meticulously pouring over my transcripts and credit hours, my advisor was notified that I am actually going to be 10 credits short of graduating in May. So the bulk of the afternoon and the morning have been spent writing proposals and petitions which are currently circulating around the Dean's offices at OCU. I'll go to the President if it has to go that far. I should not be penalized for an error in the system. And I'm not afraid to make that fact known. However, it looks like it's all going to work out, BUT I've also added six more hours to my schedule this semester, which means I am now taking 15 hours and working damn near full time. It's a good thing my kitchen is stocked w/ wine, Seagram's 7, Crown and Peach Schnapps. I'm gonna need it.

Moving on. I had a friend who was in crisis last night, who I spent the better part of two hours with on the phone. Love him to death, but the whole ordeal was just emotionally draining. Then my lil sis called this morning having a crisis in College Station. Don't ya just love family problems? Sometimes I feel like our family takes the cake. But I guess everybody feels like that every now and then.

So, it's off to work for a few hours, then back to the Deans office to straighten out this whole school mess. Then I have class. Geeeeez. I'm definitely partying my ass off this weekend. Except I still have a speaking engagement Sunday morning. That should be interesting.

Ok, thanks for listening. As you were.

so completely and totally stressed out.

will blog more after lunch.

and after a few deep breaths.

can't NOT get enough of this big boy



Saturday night can't come too soon.

clucks for bucks

There is a Paycheck Advance place across the street. They have a man in a chicken suit standing out in front next to Penn Avenue to wave at all the cars that come by. However, this morning I passed him and he didn't budge an inch. I kept looking in my rearview mirror and he was standing totally still. I thought, Oh no. Mr. Chicken Man's frozen to death in this cold weather! Then suddenly he started rocking side to side ever so slightly. I said to myself, The thaw is wearing off and he's delirious.

I feel sad for Mr. Chicken Man. He's out there every morning at 8 a.m. and stands out there all day. And apparently, they make no allowance for freezing weather. I hope they're not paying that poor guy minimum wage. It makes me so thankful for my office job.

On another note, dad just got back from Cali yesterday. He spent some time in San Diego and LA and said it was really nice. He said it was 75 degrees and sunny the whole time. I'm dying to go back. I'm going to have find a reason to go. This is a must. These little town blues are playing on my vagabond shoes. (There's a reference for you Sinatra fans.)

Hope everyone's having a happy hump day!

Check it out. Google loves me. I'm all over the place!

Found Kevmo too, and his random images.

And Whitney, cuz she linked me :)~

I'm a ROCK STAH.

wiped out

It's only 1:45 p.m. but it feels more like 1:45 a.m. I had my Dream class this morning. It physically and emotionally drains me. Maybe that's the point- sleeping better means dreaming better.

It's just that this class really asks alot of you. I consider myself to be painfully introspective. I am utterly aware of my emotional fluxes and know, better than most people, why I feel the things I feel and why I do the things I do, and what emotional consequences those things will produce in my life. After all, that's my day job. In turn, that's my life!

But this class, as your dreams do, asks you to consider what your dreams and especially recurrent dreams are trying to tell you about yourself. I think this makes absolute sense since dreams are our own mind's creations. Obviously they would include information about the creator, author, whatever word you'd like to choose. I've had four recurrent dreams in my life. Three of which I continue to have. I'm considering starting a dream blog. This would help out in class alot, since I have to have an entry for every day of the semester. It might be an interesting forum for people too. We'll see.

it's about time.

Up until now, nothing has been noteworthy enough to rave or rage about in the ever popular review section of AshlyBrooke.com. However, Travis Downs' Stanford scandal was a near miss. Just in time to save the day, literally, Whitney, Holly and I had a girl's night out tonight. You will find the review promptly to your right in the review section.

yay!

Whit's back!

crazy

I'm so backwards this morning I tried to post something in Globber.

I heard a five year old on the radio this morning who knows every capitol and governor of every state and every president and vice president who ever held office in the US. She also knows which presidents never had a vice president. Right off the top of her head. Girl didn't even have to stop and think for a second. The idiot on the radio, AKA TJ from KJ103, asked her to recite the Prelude to the Constitution. I, being a CHA scholar, thought, "What a dumbass. It's Preamble not prelude." You don't sing the US Constitution. Anyway, later this little chickadee proceeded to recite the whole MLK Jr. I Have A Dream speech. And not just recite it, she kicked it in the ass. You'd think she was just making it up as she went. It was unbelievable. I was fired up after I listened to her. I was ready to march to the capitol steps in protest.

Yay for smart little women.

I met a guy last night with the most beautiful eyelashes. He was very interested in conversation with me about charitable non-profit work. It was quite an interesting conversation.

I feel kinda weird and floaty right now and don't know why. You know that house at Silver Dollar City where everything's tilted and you feel like you're walking through sideways? That's how I feel right now.

Crazy.

Me, in layers.

Tony did it, so I will too.

la noche yo quiero taco bell

Yes, boys and girls. It's about that time. It's exactly 1:36 a.m. and I am enjoying my grande soft taco (which by the way is a soft double decker taco w/ cheese instead of beans) and a seven layer burrito. My stomach will thank me in the morning. I know.

I just made it in from a night of Bleu Edmondson at the WD. Holy freakin cow. Ragan and I agree. They definitely did NOT rock this hard last time they were in town. Good job boys. You stepped it up about 3 notches and for that, Ashly thanks you. They actually had 2 drummers. That was unbelievable. One of them was wearing a Rodney Carington shirt that said "Titties and Beer" on the front. How can you not love that??!!

It seems like everybody was out tonight. Minus one Kevin Miller and one Whitney English. Interestingly enough, they are both in Texas tonight. One in Fort Worth and one in Dallas. But in an exchange, we got Bleu Edmondson. I love Kevmo and Whit, but the boys were awesome tonight.

My "volatile ex boyfriend" didn't show tonight. It's not the first time. This tends to happen. And true to form, I'll get a phone call tomorrow telling me what a great party he found and how trashed he got and how sorry he is that he couldn't make it out to the wormy dog. I've heard it a couple of times as you might have guessed.

Anyway, Angie and I had some great conversation tonight... and only one interesting thing happened with almost all of the players in my life's drama up in the mix. However, this will only be discussed w/ Whitney over email until I figure out how I feel about it ;) And I can tell you now it's not that big of a deal. This was a relatively low drama night. I guess that's good. Especially because of the funk I'm in.

Well, it seems like everybody's going to Boland tomorrow night. Hmmmm... tempting. We'll see.

Anyway, a HUGE hello to my boy Jeff who apparently reads my blogs but never says anything! Howdy Jeffery!

Time to hit tha hay! Hope everybody's having a safe and happy weekend!

Peace out yo.

good times

What a weekend for great music in OKC. And I'm lazy so I'm not gonna link anybody. If you're seriously interested, google them or go to Ragan's site.

Bleu Edmondson at the Wormy Dog tonight. Boland at the Brewery and Hurricane Jane, which I definitely recommend, at Tapwerks tomorrow night. If you're in OKC, forget the rain, you won't melt. Get out and see these guys and support the live music!

Tonight promises to be interesting with all my friends out at the dog + one particularly volatile ex boyfriend. Hmmm... check back at 2 a.m. for updates :)

funk

I don't know if it's the weather or what, but lately I've been in this major funk. I've also been listening to nothing but really slow, pretty, and usually sad songs. I'm sure that has nothing to do with it.

It's getting ready to get really cold. I'm happy about that, but sad at the same time. I need someone to cuddle with.

I'm working with my kindergarten kiddos this morning. That makes me happy. We're going to count Ben's hens. Run Ben run!

I suppose I'll be out tonight for Bleu Edmondson. I really really like him and his music. But if he sings Good Thing I'm going to have to keep myself from tearing up. It's just one of those days.

Fabulous. Send me happy thoughts people.

big deal

Ok, so I happened to stumble on a rather interesting bit of information this morning, totally by accident, I promise.

It seems that Ron Jeremy's money maker is 9 inches long and 2 inches around. Um, I'm not saying that's not good, but for as raunchy looking a porn star as he is, I expected much more. I was thinking like foot long and way bigger or something. I mean, 9 is good, but it's not that uncommon. If that's all the porn industry was looking for, couldn't they have at least picked a better looking guy?

I'm sorry Mr. Jeremy, but you've let me down.

Before everybody gets all in a tizzy, I'm not of the school that bigger is always better. A 9 inch thing does not a good lover make. I guess I just had higher expectations of a greasy, short, round, mustached porn star.

a hot, sweaty, passionate relationship

I had my first Modern American Poetry class last night with my beloved Dr. Smokewood. She is far and away the most brilliant literary mind of our time. Or at least that I've ever come in contact with. She also has the privilege of being my academic advisor and favorite professor.

Without a doubt, she is the single-most romantically inclined person I've ever met in my life. She's in her late thirties and single, and always has been. The greatest love of her life is the poet John Keats. She gets breathless when she talks about him. It's that bad. She actually said last night, and I quote, "Read a John Keats poem out loud. Let the syllables roll around on your tongue. I guarantee it will be one of the five greatest things you've ever done with your mouth."

Last night, for our first class, we discussed our theoretical approach to poetry. How traditional and sterile does that sound? So Dr. Smokewood gave us her impassioned speech about developing an intimate relationship with the text, let it speak to us, let it breathe on us, feel it with "the totality of your being." We discussed bringing our whole selves to a poem, our intellectual passion and our emotional intelligence. She made it very clear that she was not of the "take a hatchet to the poem till it let's you in and you can understand it" school. However, she firmly believes that you can never kill a poem, but you can wear yourself out trying to find an opening into its world. So, here is her theory on how to build a relationship with a particularly difficult poem:

"What we are going to do, is take the totality of our being, our passion and our intellect, and with all of our body heat we are going to gently press ourselves up against this poem and quietly ask it to open it's door for us." And apparently, inevitably, it will. And wha-lah! You magically understand the poem. Now that you've rubbed yourself all over it.

I thought it was a fascinating insight into building relationships with texts and authors that are not easily built. Like T.S. Eliot for example. Hate him. Not EVEN interested in pursuing a relationship there. Way too complicated and way too many issues.

So I just thought I'd share with you guys the little chuckle my fellow English fiends and I had last night :)

problem

Ok, I'm going to bare a bit of my soul here to the whole world. And I'm hoping for some feedback.

My dad is getting married May 28th to a woman who is fine as a person, but in my opinion, not so great as my dad's wife. And before you think I'm just being a possessive daughter, I'm not. My mom is inching closer to marriage with a guy that I absolutely love and think is the best thing in the world that has ever happened to her. It's just that, with my dad, I see some things in the relationship that are more than likely going to present major problems on down the road.

That said, I went to see him a couple of days ago. While I was there, with this woman in the room, he asked me if I would actually be a part of the wedding ceremony. For my little sister and I, even going to the wedding is presenting a major delimma. We're going because we love our dad and want him to be happy, and would be sad if he wasn't at our weddings. However, I'm not sure I actually want to be a part of the ceremony. And it kind of bothered me that he asked me in front of her. So, what do you think?

the boy... & the boy who could fly

first i would like to say that Whitney Ann English is capable of writing things so perfectly beautiful and profound that i want with everything in me to post them here. alas, due to the sensitive nature of the subject, i will not. but i want her to write more. she's awesome.

also, at 9:30 tonight i was flipping through the channels and happily surprised to find the boy who could fly was on an old movie channel. don't act like you weren't a bwcf junkie too. i mean who can forget a classic like this. like when they are in the bedroom and millie is teaching eric to say her name. his first words! mil--lie. mil--lie. and what about those mean girls in gym class that threw the volleyball at millie's head and gave her a black eye? stupid bitches. when louis (a young fred savage) and millie are in the living room watching old home movies of their dad who died of cancer, i cried. (only the second time i'd cried at a movie up to that point. the first was when they killed old yeller.) And who can forget natalie from the facts of life playing the annoying yet lovable next door neighbor.

they don't make movies like that anymore. When I was 9, bwcf and flight of the navigator were my favorite movies. so much mystery and intrigue. ah, i miss the old days.

is it a full moon?

all the wierdos are coming out. and trust me, we get alot of those here at work. but today, the wierdos haven't been clients. they've been donors and volunteers. people who just pop in whenever, without an appointment, people we dread seeing walking up the front path.

there's a girl here helping us sort through baby and maternity clothes in the back. she's from chile. she's here visiting for 6 weeks. she's twenty four and somehow will finish her M.D. in two years at the university of chile. don't ask me how. chickadee is hella opinionated. and that's cool. i guess i kinda am too. but it's not cool to walk into a place you know nothing about and start spouting propaganda. so we put her to work in the back.

then we got a visit from a donor who actually has a puppet called lambie pie. lambie pie gives out free advice to whomever wants it. freaky and wierd. i agree. and she's very talkative.

and on top of all that, probably the person i dislike most on this planet at this point is coming at 3 p.m. to pick up the chilean chick. fabulous. if you don't mind i'll just stay in the office so we don't have to go through that whole theatrical performance of overly cheezy smiles and hi-how-are-you's when you're really thinking you-need-to-get-the-hell-away-from-me. but i have a sneaking suspicion she's dreading the brief rendezvous just as much as i am. it's only cause she knows what's up. and she knows i've got her number. i'm kinda glad she's been blessed with the presence of the chilean chick for another week. she deserves it.

so anyway, that's my day. i'm wondering why garron doesn't comment on my blogs. come on garron, give a girl some love.

got no plans tonight except class. hopefully something interesting will pop up. and i do mean that. we'll see.

in the words of the dark side of dawson in rules of attraction:

rock n roll.

you're like my favorite damn disease

That has nothing to do with this post. I'm just listening to it.

Anyway, good morning all you bloggies out there in cyberland. I can hear you saying, "Why Ashly, why are you in such a good mood this fine morning?" I'll tell you. For the next 3 1/2 months, every Tuesday and Thursday I get to sleep in until 9:30 or 10:00 a.m. I don't have to be at school until 11. Work at 1p.m. It's all part of the plan to psychologically trick myself into thinking I'm being lazy because I'm a senior and yet still being responsible and going to class. See how that works? Brilliant? I thought so.

I'm not the one that's so far away when I feel the snake bite enter my veins. Never did I wanna be here again and I don't remember why I came.

And on that note, a big shout out to my one of my favorite friends who turns twenty-five this very day. I'm quite sure he would not like me mentioning his name-- he's paranoid about those kind of things, but Happy Birthday none the less!

Ok no moral/ethical sex questions today. Too deep. Too controversial. For today. Maybe. Ok peeps, gotta go get ready for my Modern Dream Interpretations class. Should be interesting. If you have any good dreams, send them to me and I'll take them to class and see what they mean :) Although, we're studying Freud, so chances are you just wanna kill your dad and have sex with your mom. Anywho, we'll see.

predicament

Ok, so lately I have been totally obsessed with Belle. I have Whitney's voice ringing in my ear, "Did you know that she's a prostitute?"

Yes, I did. Hence, the tag line of her blog, Diary of a London Call Girl.

However, I find her rationale and her honesty fascinating. If we were all honest, most of us think about the things she actually says, and uhhh, does. None of us are brave enough to post it all for the world to see (i.e. our mothers, our employers, our wives, our husbands, our potential lovers, etc.)

This morning she addressed a subject mothers have been drilling into their young daughter's heads for centuries:

Why would a man buy the whole cow if the milk is for sale?

There are so many things culturally and sexually wrong with this statement that I won't go into it all right now. However, the meaning behind it and the rationale is up for discussion. Would you go out on a second date with someone who had sex with you on the first?

For me, there is only one question to ask that determines my answer: Was it good sex? I know for years, we've all been told to be good little girls (and sometimes, but less occasionally, boys) and be nice and proper and congenial and sweet and most of all modest on a first date. After all, we do want to be considered wife material, right? I mean isn't that the whole purpose, to make ourselves sweet and reserved as to be a desirable candidate for marriage. And we all know that boys don't like to marry girls who like sex.

So, that said, how many of us have actually had sex on a first date? And what was the result? We must first make a distinction between a "first date" and a one night stand. With a first date, you are usually anticipating a second. A one night stand is pure booty call. As for myself, I have had one first date that ended with breakfast the next morning. That first date, did turn into two, which also included a little hanky panky, but it didn't make it to three. However, we are fabulous friends now who use each other occasionally for certain dateless Friday or Saturday nights.

Bottom line, here it is, are you ready: If you wanna seal the deal on the first date, and (for me) if he initiates it, it's all good. If he doesn't call you again because he doesn't want to be with a girl who does it on the first date, screw him. He's obviously got issues that you do not need to deal with at this point in your life.

And of course, if you don't know him that well, and aren't comfortable doing it the first night, don't. And don't think you have to just because he wants to. You are in control of your decisions, so use your head. If you're gonna beat yourself up about it in the morning, stay away.

So, if it's good, go with it. Second date will be fabulous as well. If it's no good and you're finding yourself fighting the urge to tell him to get up, put his clothes on, and go home, no dice. Chalk it up to experience and move on.

*guilty pleasure

She's a London Call Girl and she's f-ing fabulous.

bathed in badwater

and still soaking wet.

STG, (for those of you who don't know, STG means swear to God) Badwater is my Elvis. I want to fall down screaming and crying at their feet. Whitney and I wanted to have T-shirts made that said "Horny for Travis Downs" but Ragan didn't seem to like the idea much. So I guess we'll be holding off on the t shirts.

Anyhow, Andrew and Kevin opened for the guys tonight and totally rocked. Andrew played some songs he wrote for his love, sweet love, who is currently afloat on the Pacific. I was just glad to hear that Andrew knew his oceans.

I commented on Andrews love songs to his long lost g.f. Whitney wisely said, "Ashly, just let him be in love." I agreed. However, letting Andrew be in love was not my problem this night. Alas, being somewhat intoxicated, I'll move on.

We also ran into some long lost crushes from CHA but never got up the nerve to go talk to them. Whitney made the observation that we were just "the single girls at the end of the bar." However, I pointed out that, on the contrary, they were "the unhappily married guys at the end of the bar." That said, we once again turned our attention to the hotties on stage.

We had to leave early because duty calls at 9a.m. Sometimes my job requires speaking engagements on the weekends for fundraising purposes. January is brutal. However, I plan to make it out next week for Bleu even though Whitney will be in Dallas. The road goes on forever and the party never ends!

(P.S. It was fabulous to see Ryin out for a change :)

looky looky looky. Andrew's back and part of the fam. I went out to see dad today, who, by the way, wasn't at the office, but guess who was? Yep, Mr. Winn. Apparently dad hired him back for the time that he's here so he can get a little cash flow goin. Fun fun.

WDAS minus Jake, plus Andrew are opening for Badwater tomorrow night. As if Badwater's not reason enough to make the trip to Bricktown.

Peace out and word to your mother.

introducing

my first photo essay of the year. Everybody else is doing it. I figured I might as well :) Hello bandwagon.

And a word to all you mac users. You'll probably be able to see all the pretty pictures, but don't hold out much hope for the actual words. Sorry. Use your nearest PC.

now i present to you...

a desperate attempt to be even half as cool as Kevmo.

my head hurts and there's been a screaming baby in the next room for the last hour. is this day almost over?

zippideedoodah

Dani and I ate at Ted's in Edmond last night for a spur of the minute dinner. Had kind of an interesting experience. We walked in shivering from the freezing cold, I gave the hostess my name and she said we could sit down in the waiting area and warm up until our name was called. I thought, she's a friendly hostess. She made casual banter as she took us to our table when it was our turn to be seated. The night went on, we ate some chicken quesadillas, practiced our minimal knowledge of spanish curse words, listened to Dani's story about a spanish song she heard that just kept repeating, "Aye Poppi, otravez!" and finished our meal. I made a quick trip to the restroom before we left and on my way back to the table, I ran into the hostess. She smiled at me and said, "What's up Ashly!" I said, "Uh, hey." I was thinking, how the hell does this chick know my name. But then I remembered I gave it to her when we were waiting to be seated. It struck me as a tad bit odd that she remembered my name and then acted like we were old friends when I was on my way back from the bathroom. I returned to the table and got Dani and said, I think the hostess likes me. Lets get out of here, and quick, before she comes running after me in the parking lot! As it turns out, we made a clean get away, but not before requesting on the comment card that Ted's add an entree called el pollo loco to their menu.

What a busy day. First thing this morning I had a lady from SNU interview me for her counseling class. That was fun. I think she's going to come back and volunteer for us.

At 11 p.m. last night I had a sudden attack of conscience and erased a blog I had posted about how bitchy Ragan has been to me lately (see comments on earlier post). I thought if I wrote a big blog about it that made me just as bitchy. So I quit. I dig you Ragan! Give a girl some love, ok?

Got a busy rest of the day.... clients.... guess everybody was too excited about 2004 to party responsibly this year. Everybody's stressed to the max about whether or not they will have a new little bundle of joy in nine months. All I have to say is glad it's not me. I partied very responsibly over the holidays :) Always do.

Peace out.

tuesday

I overslept this morning. Wait, overslept implies an accident. I knew I was sleeping in. I couldn't bring myself to drag my butt out of bed this morning. So it's an Old Navy Fleece and ponytail day at work. But at least I'm comfortable. And isn't that the whole point?

An excerpt from a phone call I received at 10:30 p.m. last night:
Hello?
Sorry to call so late. Did I wake you?
No. What's up?
I didn't know if you had seen the news. Tug died today of brain cancer.
Really. No, I didn't hear that.
You might pray for Tim tonight. I'm sure he's having a rough time right now.
Ok.
I just saw the news and thought of you.
Thanks for calling.

I hung up the phone, checked my email and stayed up til 1 a.m. waiting for a phone call I didn't get til 4 a.m. Normally I love 4 a.m. phone calls, but only if they are from someone I love, and if I haven't been wondering all night where they are. You take those two factors out and Ashly can get down right pissy. But it all worked out ok. Still, I'm tired today.

So I proceed with ordering textbooks for this semester... some of them sound promising: Theory and Practice of Counseling and Psychotherapy, and Sigmund Freud on Dreams. My American Poetry class is going to be awesome. A little WCW and Sylvia Plath thrown in the mix. This should be a good semester.

Ahhh. The joys of my job.

...especially if it involves cough drops. Or so I'm told.

whoa.

Disclaimer: I am not to be held responsible for anything posted here. Please disregard this blog if it makes no sense. The fog has yet to clear.

Can someone please tell me what happened last week? Normal, responsible, sensible Ashly was kidnapped and replaced by her evil and more mischievous twin, rock star, drink-yourself-sober Ashly. However, I have to say I was right about the fact that next New Years I will look back at this one and say, "Wow, what a night." Although there was a fair amount of debauchery, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

My brain's not functioning properly this morning. I drove in from Broken Arrow last night at 1 a.m. after that sorry excuse for a ball game that took place in New Orleans. Oh well, what can ya do. I met a guy last night named Josh (surprise surprise) who very closely resembled Ashtin Kutcher. As coincidences go, he went to CHA and had the same third and fourth grade teachers as I did. However, he graduated 5 years after me. Anyway, what are the chances of meeting someone I have that much in common with in Broken Arrow? This world is entirely too small. But he was such a cutie and I'm glad to have met him.

This week, I am not doing ANYTHING outrageous, mischievous, questionable or spontaneous. I still need time to recover. School starts on Monday people! I've got to get focused. Only 4 months to graduation!!! Rock stars don't graduate college (except for Kevmo), so my inner rock star is going on hiatus for a while. But don't worry. Not to fret. She'll be back out in full force soon enough.

I hope today is boring. If not, I'll letcha know.

i totally stole this from steph

1.What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before?
Make a 4.0.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I have a strict policy against resolutions.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Well, that's my job. I had a couple of clients who gave birth who became friends.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
None, unfortunately.

6. What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003?
A degree and a publishing contract.

7. What date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Don't know the date, but the first night I went to the wormy dog in September.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting 2 raises in 3 months.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I don't believe in failure.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No. Well, only self-inflicted.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
A slip cover for my loveseat that was normally $150. I got it for $40.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Mine, of course. And Whitney's.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Gee Dubyah.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent. Wormy Dog.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Texas Jack, Badwater, new love interests, new trouble to get into.

16. What song will always remind you of 2003?
All the horrible country songs about the war.
The World Ain't Slowin Down.
Get Low.
Christina Aguilera, Get Mine, Get Yours. Grrrrr...
Janet Jackson-Would you Mind. Also Grrrrr...

17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?
Happier.

ii. thinner or fatter?
fatter, crap.

iii. richer or poorer?
richer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
My favorite boy.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Less alcohol.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Christmas is done Thank God.

22. Did you fall in love in 2003?
Continued to revel in the love that I fell into years ago.

23. How many one night stands?
Hmmm... None. I think. Yay! I didn't have any one night stands this year!
I'm a good girl.

24. What was your favourite TV programme?
Sex in the City, Six Feet Under

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nope and that's a good thing.

26. What was the best book you read?
Too many to pick from. Ask Ragan. He got the Reading Rainbow recommendation show. But if I have to pick, I'll say Hilary Clinton's autobiography.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Badwater and Texas Jack, again.

28. What did you want and get?
A lot of new friends.

29. What did you want and not get?
A new car.

30. What was your favourite film of this year?
The Pianist.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 24 in October. We partied at the WD.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Hmm... more sex maybe?

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003?
Practical yet sharp.

34. What kept you sane?
Reading, writing, writing, more writing and having a soul mate who knows the thoughts in my head before they even come out of my mouth.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Ashtin Kutcher. Ben withOUT Jennifer. I secretly starting digging Adrien Brody after seeing him on the cover of Travel Magazine.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The ignorance of good ol' Texas boys.

37. Who did you miss?
Andrew.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Can't choose one. Ragan, Kevin, Robert, Eric, Katie, Beth, Chad, Jake.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003.
Intelligence always wins. Hands down.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Here's to the fool I was.
Here's the bride I'll never be.
I gotta know what's truth and what's fiction.
I gotta feel like my love's a conviction.
So tell me true, cause I got me suspicions.
I tell ya if it's the last thing I do, I won't cry over you.

Or possibly on my more kinky days…

I like your pants around your feet
And I like the dirt that's on your knees
And I like the way you still say please
While you're looking up at me
You're like my favorite damn disease.

men from the boys
So Ragan calls last night and says, "Come out tonight. We're just gonna take it slow and watch a little hosty." They were going to be a nice respite to the major party that was the whole of this week. I show up at nine. Ragan is on his like sixth beer. And the rest of the gang shows up... Kevmo, Chad, Beth, Robert, Andie and a couple of other people I didn't really know. I had a nice chit chat with tic tac from Hosty Duo. What a nice guy. So much fun.

So, 1:45 a.m. rolls around and the bar staff starts yelling for us to get out. So Robert volunteers his place to continue the party. Kevin, Ragan, Jake, Robert, Jeff and I partied til 6 a.m. It was interesting being the only female at the party. I learned alot about the male psyche last night. Robert and Ragan spent the better part of three hours in Robert's room busting out the old cassettes of 80's metal. The show was complete with beer bottle microphones and air guitars. It's so cute to see grown men indulge their inner thirteen year olds.

So, at about 6:30 a.m. on January 3rd, Ashly laid down totally happy and content to have such wonderful friends and to be a bit more intelligent about eighties bands like Trickster and Pantera. Ahhh, it was sweet dreams til 11:30 a.m. when my phone started ringing off the wall.

Ig-nore. Sorry. I'll hollah atcha latah.

naked baby angels

It's time for my 2 p.m., January 1st, 2004, comingdownoffthehighthatlastedtil7thismorning blog. Last night I rang in the new year amidst a reveling throng of Wormy Dog-goers and drunk Red Dirt musicians. The musical highlight of my night was seeing Badwater perform. I had no idea how much these guys truly rocked. They can definitely claim Ashly as a fan now. And that's quite an accomplishment.

I met lots of new people and saw lots of familiar faces. For the first time since I was seventeen years old, I got kissed at midnight. Twice. I am a lucky girl. I hope that's a sign that there will be a whole lot more kisses in 2004 than in the previous years. I learned things about friends last night that I had never known before. Sometimes alcohol can be a truth serum. Among friends it is a great bonding agent. I look forward to knowing even more about my closest friends this year.

My wishes for 2004 are:
If you are sad, you will let it show, get it out, and stare the monster in the eyes.
If you are happy, that you will be a shoulder and an ear to those who are fighting their own personal demons.
If you are in love, you will strive to make everyday the best day of your lover's life.
If you are not in love, you will seek adventure alone and revel in the authenticity of solitude.
But most of all, that we all step outside, open our eyes, look around and up to the sky, take one deep breath and try to infiltrate all of the beauty in the world into our souls. And that each of us would do something, even if it's a small thing, to make the world a little less scaryhatefulpridefulselfishconformistpitifullyindiferent place for our little ones and future little ones.