I promised myself I'd write something honest here. No comments, no stat counters. So if you're reading, I don't wanna know. This day is brutal. Our capitalist society mandates that we get out of bed every morning and produce something if we're going to be considered successful or meeting the status quo. But mother nature disagrees. It wanted me to stay in bed this morning. So I snubbed Uncle Sam, told the office manager I'd be in later, and fell back asleep listening to the rain hit the pavement outside.
I never thought I'd be good at monogamy. I never had much of a reason to. But so far it's been over a year and I haven't fucked up. And goddamn some days it's work. Not work to keep from cheating, but work to keep your head in the game and not give the whole thing the finger. We bring so much bullshit into relationships with us. And it affects our lives. Literally. Like say, if I was with someone for a number of years who didn't want to be touched unless he expressly asked to be touched. I'd start assuming that's the way a physical relationship is supposed to work. Or conversely, maybe I was in a relationship where we were very physical with each other on a pretty constant basis, and that was our touch point to know things were ok. If we were doing that, we were good. I'd assume that in any relationship, if you're not having sex on a regular basis, things are not ok.
We bring all this bullshit with us. There are no do-overs or clean slates. And our baggage NEVER matches the other person's baggage and inevitably, it all ends up in one ugly lump stashed under the bed. It's a lot of work, these relationships. We've lived our lives one way up until the time we meet our significant other, and we assume they're going to share the same view of people and of relationships that we do. Nothing is farther from the truth. We all have different perspectives and expectations. We've all experienced and been taught different things about how to relate to other people and the world at large.
How do we make all these things work together without losing our passion. Our identities. Our sanity.
When I figure it out, I'll let you know.
I never thought I'd be good at monogamy. I never had much of a reason to. But so far it's been over a year and I haven't fucked up. And goddamn some days it's work. Not work to keep from cheating, but work to keep your head in the game and not give the whole thing the finger. We bring so much bullshit into relationships with us. And it affects our lives. Literally. Like say, if I was with someone for a number of years who didn't want to be touched unless he expressly asked to be touched. I'd start assuming that's the way a physical relationship is supposed to work. Or conversely, maybe I was in a relationship where we were very physical with each other on a pretty constant basis, and that was our touch point to know things were ok. If we were doing that, we were good. I'd assume that in any relationship, if you're not having sex on a regular basis, things are not ok.
We bring all this bullshit with us. There are no do-overs or clean slates. And our baggage NEVER matches the other person's baggage and inevitably, it all ends up in one ugly lump stashed under the bed. It's a lot of work, these relationships. We've lived our lives one way up until the time we meet our significant other, and we assume they're going to share the same view of people and of relationships that we do. Nothing is farther from the truth. We all have different perspectives and expectations. We've all experienced and been taught different things about how to relate to other people and the world at large.
How do we make all these things work together without losing our passion. Our identities. Our sanity.
When I figure it out, I'll let you know.
posted by Daisy-Girl at
11:48 AM
