The weather's changing, leaves are falling, it's raining, Mercury is for sure in retrograde and shit's goin down all across the world.

Let's all take a deep breath and invite the good vibes in. It's the best cure for a case of the Mondays.

I got nada.

Will spend today rehydrating and curled up on the couch watching all the Jason movies.

Carry on.

It turned out a little more biker chick-er-ish than I thought, but it'll do. The whole thing will be falling apart by midnight anyway. Boots will be laying on the bar, fishnets will have holes in them, and the wig will be in the trash can. It's almost a guarantee. Halloween is fun, but it sure is a lot of work...

:)

So apparently there are perks to working high stress jobs for big beaurocracies.

...the biggest bonus I've ever had in my life and a raise are coming my way very shortly. If you play your cards right, you just might get a Christmas present. :)

So I got tagged. Something about writing 20 things about me you don't already know. Hmm. Let's make this quick.

1. I'm addicted to CNN.

2. I detest vaguery, although I am the master.

3. I'm also the queen of making horribly false assumptions.

4. If I had a million dollars I'd spend it traveling in Europe, going to museums and buying drugs.

5. I secretly want to get married. What? Shhh.

6. My first daughter's name will be Kathryn.

7. Twenty things about me that you don't know is hard to come up with.

8. I've never taken ecstasy but I probably would.

9. I've never passed out.

10. I've never forgotten anything I've done when I was drunk. (I have regretted, however.)

11. I wore a head gear for 2.5 seconds in junior high before I tossed it, much to the chagrin of my orthodontist. But I only wore it at home. :)

12. I sucked my thumb til I was 12. Not kidding.

13. My mom could hear me making sucking noises in the womb. I may be orally fixated. :)

14. I think I'm smarter than most of the people in my classes at school. (Except for stats. People who get that shit are geniuses.)

15. I'm sad that FA is moving. :(

16. But I'm happy I am.

17. I've skipped work to watch porn.

18. Sometimes I don't answer the phone when you call even though I can see it's you calling.

19. I'm a horrible monogamist, but I'm working on it.

20. There is one boy I will love for the rest of my life and coincidentally, he'll probably be my only regret.

This day is kinda sucking. Gotta go to court. Fun fun fun. Maybe I'll take pictures of the crackheads and send them to you.

Out.

Busy busy lil worker bee. Get to hang out with the crazies this morning, the court all afternoon. Somewhere in there (or maybe tomorrow b/c it's a slower day) I'm gonna sneak a trip to buy a wedding gift. Let's hope, anyway. Then it's to PF Changs in celebration of our girl Nikki's birthday! Woo hOO!

Finally got the cd burner back. And I've been burning like mad. I need an organization system for the cd's in my car. They're laying all over the place, under seats, under the crap in the back seat... and I found a half drunk bottle of whiskey back there too. My back seat is an adventure, I'm telling you!

Have a fabulous Thursday!

Ah, afterglow. You gotta love it.

Well, what's up? Here we are. Hump day. Just that much closer to Friday. YippEE!! Somehow gotta figure out how to fit in making the rest of my halloween costume, getting the happy couple a wedding gift, and celebrating Nic's birthday all before Friday at 5 p.m. Found out I have a stats test tonight. Which is wonderful, really, considering I skipped class last Wednesday. I got the notes from another classmate last night. But I have absolutely no idea what they mean. SO tonight should be fun. Two hours of sheer agony. Good thing I've got a bottle of Jager, a bottle of Crown, and another unidentified bottle of whiskey in the fridge. I can drink my stats worries away...

If I only had some coke.

Well, hopefully I'll get my computer back today before class so I can spend the night NOT doing the things on my aforementioned list and burn CD's instead. :)

I'm going to Hideaway for lunch and you're not. Na naa na-na naaahh!!

Wow. I just woke up from a nice nap during a video about Freud we're watching in class.

I'm without a computer at home til tomorrow night which kinda makes me uneasy. All my music's on the PC. So now i'll be stuck with whatever 5 cd's are in the changer in the living room. And who knows what those are. The Waiting to Exhale soundtrack and a couple others.

Shoop, shoop, shoop, shoop-a-doop doop doop.

Guess I'll have to settle for the droning noise of CNN or something. But come 5 p.m. tomorrow, I'll have a brand new burner and personalized playlists for all my good buddies. :)

Today was a long day. I didn't realize how time consuming children were really. I mean it took the kid an hour to eat 2 McNuggets because he only has 4 teeth. But so cute anyway. :)

Well, I gotta get back to this cauldron of knowledge I seem to have temporarily escapted. And tomorrow, we're more than half way to the weekend.

Praise Jesus.

Last rites.

Upon coming home from work tonight, my neighbor informed me that while pulling weeds he discovered a cat who had breathed his last in my back yard.

*gasp*

He offered to take care of the problem for me, but I told him I would deal with it instead. Something in me needs to take care of wounded (and dead) animals, apparently. So, armed with my shovel I headed out into the field that is my back yard. (I didn't get motivated to mow until my lawnmower broke. Typical.) And back under the ivy and red berries growing on the fence, tucked into a little corner next to the old tin shed was a sweet boy, as big as Tucker, white with black spots and a tabby tail, flea collar and all, who apparently curled up for a nap on a nice fall day and never woke up again. He must have had very sweet dreams; he looked as peaceful as could be. So instead of disposing of him in some cold trash bag where he'd just be crushed and turned into compost at some dump somewhere, I dug a hole under the ivy in the shade, next to the shed, and buried him there.

I felt honored that he found a comfortable spot in my backyard to take his last breath of what looked to be a wonderful and full life where he was very loved by someone, somewhere. And I hope that if, God forbid, Tucker ever leaves me to find a place to die, that someone will do the same for him.

Rest in peace, pretty kitty. And I hope the mice on the other side are all you dreamed they would be.

Well, here we are. Monday funday.

Why do I wake up exactly 13 minutes before my alarm goes off? I rolled over this morning and thought, to hell with this. Not only am I sleeping for the next 13 minutes, I'm sleeping for the next 43 minutes. And then I woke up again 9 minutes before I was supposed to get up. Give me my fucking nine minutes!!!

I'm pretty much neurotic is the only thing I can figure. My brain says be lazy, my body says get your ass outta bed. Bleh. Monday. So I'm spending most of my day running back and forth b/w Edmond and Moore. Fun times. And tomorrow I get to spend the day in Lawton. Woo hoo! Ghet-TO! Big ups to all my peeps in Comanche county! Anyway, at least I get to do it tomorrow. It was supposed to be Friday. And well, we all know there's already a road trip planned for Friday. So that would been a LOT of driving.

I have to say somethin really fast. (So read fast.) I am so thankful for people in my life who love me and take time for me and show me that they love me not only in the words they say, but in the things they do. Let's just say I have a friend, whom I've been friends with for lots and lots of years, who complains because I don't talk to him when he calls, assuming I answer the phone. Today was just another shining example of why our relationship never progress past the friends stage and isn't even doing that well in that capacity.

I called him back because he's called exactly 3 times since I talked to him last, and I was starting to feel bad. He's not there, I leave a message. He calls back. Exactly two minutes and thirty seconds into the conversation, he's like, Hold on, I gotta get this. So I hold. He comes back a minute later, Ok, anyway, whats up.

Ok, wait. I'm sorry, I really gotta get this. I'll just be a sec.

Uh... Ok, I'm on hold.

He comes back two minutes later. Sorry about that, I was waiting for that call. So anyway, how's it going?

Three minutes later, Can you hold on for a second? I gotta run into the office and talk to this guy for a minute. (He puts the phone in his pocket, where he leaves it for the next 5 minutes. I'm eating lunch at home by this time.) He comes back. Hey can I call you back when I get in the car? I've got to get some stuff done.

Yeah, there's a reason I don't answer your calls, bud. It's the equivalent of getting absolutely nothin done. So anyway, I'm very thankful for people in my life who actually wanna talk to me. And don't put me on hold all the time. :)

My favorite referring google search so far:

I want to fuck hot bitches tonight in Harrison, Arkansas.

Umm, wtf. :)

Yes, as a matter of fact I have seen Dallas from a DC-10 at night, a few times.

I bailed early from the Bleu show because I was tired. Sometimes you can only go so far on 5 hours of sleep and horrifying nightmares. So I opted for a grocery shopping trip at walmart. Drunk. That was an adventure.

I had something I was going to tell you but now I can't remember what. I smell like old cigarette butts. I need a shower. And I have this insane instinct to protect someone I love. I can't help it. I've come to realize I am a very nurturing person. Someday I'm going to make a great mom. Because whenever I think someone's getting hurt, or the short end of the stick or whatever, my I'm gonna kick your ass meter goes off the charts.

Maybe that's something I need to work on regulating. Sometimes it's none of my business. And tonight may be one of those times.

Happy Sunday all. I love my girls and I love you. I'll be sleeping all day.

Expect to hear from me Monday. :)

Conga Rats to my baby sister who scored a job (at the interview, no less) with a "world renown cardiologist, often referred to as God."

She's all grown up on me.

Ya'll are all suckas cuz I got off work super duper early today. Ah, the perks of having a grown up job. You get to go home when you're done... :)

I went shopping twice today. Got a new pair of boots and some jeans and a green sparkly shirt. Finally. I've been needing one of those for like a thousand years.

I downloaded the new Vanessa Carlton this morning. Pretty good. Way better than the last one. This one song she's got some girl screaming bloody murder in the background and I'm not sure why. She sounds like she's getting kidnapped by a mafia hitman in a dark alley or something. Very wierd. But still cool.

So while I still don't have a Trailer Babies shirt, I will still be front and center tonight when they're opening for Stoney. Which I still think is... interesting. But I understand. And tonight I'm knockin out any stripper/hookers who think they have first dibs on my band. You think I'm kiddin.

Well, I need to go... ummm... start drinking. Mark the time. It's exactly 4 p.m.

I'm itching to go ghost hunting. It's about that time of the year. In high school and in my first years of college we used to do this every fall. Get in the car in the middle of the night, drive out in the middle of nowhere where supposedly Satan worshippers lived or where some girl's body got dumped, or a whore house where there was some kind of bloody massacre and scare the crap out of ourselves daring each other to get out of the car. I never did. Except that one time Dana and I got up the balls to jump a fence that said, "You're never coming back," in broad daylight and still screamed like little bitches running all the way back to the car while we were getting chased by an army of furious insects.

Hmmmm. Who wants to rent Blair Witch? That's the only movie I've ever really been scared about. I'm not watchin that again til there's a big strong man willing to hold onto me and not let me go for the entire night afterwards. That movie freaks me the FUCK out. That could really happen.

Anyway, I need ideas. Where can one go locally? I know there's the whole Guthrie Hospital thing. And NO THANKS. I've seen that. Not going back. Plus, isn't it something else now? I know there's the Satanic House on the south side that burned to the ground, but I'm afraid they're patrolling that pretty heavily this time of the year. It's pretty popular. I heard there's some place in Spencer called The Purple Church where there's a grave yard where somebody cut the hands off a Jesus Statue. I don't really know why that's scary though. Does anybody else know of any places?

I've decided to quit being such an overachiever. So I'm blogging, being just a little later to work than usual. I don't know what the rush is. It's not like we punch in and all that matters is I get my stuff done. I need to just chill out a little more on a regular basis...

I wish I was going to the Vanessa Carlton show in Norman tonight. But I'm just not up to paying $40 for it. It's been a looong time since I've been to a show that was just a girl and her piano. And that sounds so good to me right now.

Thanks for the wine last night, FA. Although I did get drunk and mess things up royally with someone I love very much. It turns out actually sharing your feelings about marriage and love while intoxicated is not always the best idea. But everything's ok this morning and nothing's happened that can't be undone, hopefully.

Well, I've procrastinated long enough. Must feed the cat and head in. Have a happy Thursday, all.

What a lazy day this has been. I don't know why i bothered getting up and going in to work at all. The great thing about the chick I work for is that Monday she actually said, "I'm seeing too much of you guys around the office. Don't you guys have stuff to do away from here?"

I can make that happen.

And today, I did. I returned a few phone calls and pushed a few papers this morning, then went to lunch, ummm and went to visit a kid for my monthly worker visit just to make sure he's ok in his foster home. All is well.

Now I'm sitting here looking at my Flickr picture of the suite Maroline and I stayed in at the Beverly Hills Plaza and thinking I have not been as fucking drunk possibly ever in my life than I was the night we got there. Dave bought us like $100 worth of oysters, then the wine sampling started. Yeah, we'll just take 2 of each, thanks. Then we ended up in a gay bar on the Promenade but nobody was out b/c we were too early. Dave and I were just drunk enough to get the party started and Caroline, who hadn't drunk three bottles of wine with us at dinner, was ready to wind it down and hit the hay. So we went back to the hotel and while C climbed into our huge cushy bed, Dave and I stayed up and blogged and did butter shots. Until he dared me to jump naked into the pool at 1 a.m., to which I gladly obliged. That was the night I met a real live Beverly Hills Call Girl named... Charity? I think? I don't know. I was drunk and we were talking about Jesus. That's all I remember.

And now I'm off to stats class. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck. May try some scotch at the dog tonight. If Sara's gonna be hard core, I'm gonna have to go hard core too. It's nice to finally have a girl to step it up on the drinking game. :)

***And Ryin, can you tell me what's wrong with my sidebar? Every time I publish a little bit more of it disappears... You're a genius, so I figured you'd know...***

Life is good.

Boss is out. Slept in a little. Took a long lunch. Will be heading out about 3:30 for an appointment and it's a beautiful day.

If only stupid math class didn't ruin it all.

May come out for a drink tonight. This remains to be seen.

Happy hump day!

I'm going to be totally honest.

Ok, not totally, but more than usual. So if you don't have an affinity for that sorta thing... mosey on elsewhere ma'dear.

Maybe it's because I feel like I've been hit by a truck today and am probably in the first throws of some horrible virus, but I've been thinking. And it's probably the same 'ol same 'ol, but it is nonetheless.

I feel completely stuck. And mostly unhappy today. Yes, I realize that's a sentence fragment but it's my blog, so there. There are a couple of things pulling me through and thank god for those. I can find the good in the bad. And I'm trying to concentrate on those things, but it's hard tonight.

I sorta like my job. Sorta. The concept is great. The system is broken though. I've got some really good things going on... kids finally finding good homes after years of being displaced, so that gives me hope. But they just make room for the new hard cases. Like a 4 month little girl with a spiral fractured leg (can only be caused by someone twisting). I'm good with it. It's ok, but it just never ends. It's not like someday I'm going to work so hard and put in so many hours and be a shoulder and a listening ear so many times that I'll look around and say, Wow, everybody's emotionally healthy and happy and the world is just a better place. So sometimes it just feels like you're drowning in shit, when you do what I do every day.

As much as it hurts some people to hear me say it, I do not want to be here anymore. I knew that 6 months ago, but it wasn't time to go yet, apparently. I'm ready for a new life. One where I don't wear myself out at work every day, have to go to boring useless classes every night, then come home and sit on the couch by myself eating shit loads of whatever's in the freezer to try to relax and unwind from the day.

I want something pretty to look at. I want a clean slate. I want to weigh about about fifty pounds less so when somebody tells me no I won't be worried it's because of what I look like.

I quit fast food, which I'm pretty sure is what's gotten me where I am, so at least that's a start...

I want to be around people who understand that it's not about what I do on Saturday night or Sunday morning. And that I don't necessarily want to work more, harder, or longer hours just because I don't have a frickin' kid. Or a husband. (This keeps presenting itself as an issue.)

And after all this bitching, here's what I am thankful for. There ARE people in my life who think I'm beautiful anyway and always have. There are people who love me and don't really even read the blog and sure as hell haven't read every poem I've ever written. They're not even close to "understanding" me, but are happy to just be along for the ride. And I don't know that I've ever had that. So it feels good and I wish I could take that with me when I leave here. And I will in some ways.

And I guess that's all I have right now. Sometimes you just gotta get it out, ya know. So there ya have it. And I don't even wanna drink...

I'm really tired. And my nose feels funny. I think I'm getting a cold. Well, this should be fun. I always wait to start taking my vitamins til I actually think I'm getting sick.

I'm skipping class tonight. I'm pretty sure that would just push me right over the edge.

Maybe I'll spend the night reading the rest of The Washingtonienne. It's a great read so far. Reminds me of Pinky... if she was way more scandalous and prone to using expletives. :)

[Aaaand we're back. Nothing like blogger's speedy customer service. Please note the lack of blogspot.]

There is no end to how fucked up my dreams will get, apparently.

I can't exactly spill all the details for the world, but let's just say that a very best friend, an unrequited love, and a seduction out of spite were all involved.

Who knew losing something you never had could hurt so bad. Or feel so. fucking. good.

OMG.

It's too early in the morning to be thinking about sex.

Happy Tuesday.

Hello! Hello! Yes, it's me again. What? You're blogging twice in the same day, you say? I guess it's your lucky day.

I stopped to get my third favorite meal in the world on the way home today. That would be BBQ. OMG WTF STFU! My favorite is on the south side but since it was rush hour and I wasn't in the mood to fight traffic for an hour to get down there, I settled for my second favorite, Oklahoma Station, on 50th and Meridian. However, when I walked in and saw that my favorite brisket cutter lady who always says, "What can I get ya, love?" wasn't working, I thought maybe it woulda been worth the trip to the south side. The dude working the cutting station was taking for EV er and there were like 4 people in front of me. He was slicing it one piece at a time, then measuring it, then putting it on the plate. DUDE. We do not have time for this. Just cut off an $8 hunk of meat and slap it on there. Then the dude getting the sides put them in separate little styrofoam ramekins which was cool but he dumped them upside down when he put them in my bag to go. I got home and realized they'd actually given me a half order of sliced brisket, which would have been perfect except I paid for a whole one. The boys at Oklahoma Station were not on top of their game tonight. And now I'm just generally agitated.

Plus, I'm home, I'm fed, and I'm comfortable but I've got to run to Walgreens to get a million little things I've run out of. Like bubble bath, and deodorant, and light bulbs, and toilet paper, and Draino. Luckily I don't care who sees me in my PJ's at Walgreens. I've only ever run into one person I know there and that was Dr. Smokewood about a year ago. And she knows I'm a genius anyways.

My feet stink. And I even wore socks today.

I wish it would get cold outside. And I wish I had time to go shopping... maybe this weekend. I'll reward myself for not eating fast food all week. I tripped up Sunday morning and had sonic for breakfast, but I was having an emotional moment and needed the grease apparently. So if I go the rest of the week with NO fast food, I'll shop on Saturday. :) Sounds like a plan to me.

This made me giggle...

I've got a couple of boys at work who are staying with their grandparents. During the background check process the grandpa was asked why he had a misdemeanor on his record...

Well, I stayed out a little too late one night. Didn't wanna tell the wife why, so I reported the car stolen. But it really wasn't stolen at all. Had to spend the night in jail, pay a $500 fine, and do 100 hours of community service. Just tryin' to cover my tail with the old lady.

Pretty creative if you ask me. They've been married for years, so something must have worked!

I can't take my eyes off you.

Current soundtrack: Counting Crows, Martina Sorbara, Ryan Adams, Ray LaMontagne, Damien Rice, Katie Melua, and Abra Moore.

It's a Damien Rice kinda night. If you don't know him, he's kinda Ryan Adams-ish. He's Irish. I think you'll dig.

Sundays are becoming my days to swallow myself in a huge, comfy t-shirt, bury myself under the covers and wish the coming week away. Sometimes a cup of hot tea works itself in there somewhere.

This is such a weird time in my life. Everything's changing and it feels funny. Good, but funny. Things I never thought would never go away are nowhere to be found. Things I never new existed are front and center.

I had a dream this afternoon and woke up fighting mad. It felt real. It was real. Until I opened my eyes. Then I spent the next hour trying to figure out the odds of a bold, superwoman, throw caution to the fucking wind move working to create a life I've only dreamed about. But things like that only happen in the movies, I'm pretty sure. Sometimes I just have to remember that what's supposed to happen will.

And it will be the way it should be. I'll be better for it. And I'll love it.

I can't believe the retarded quarter back is a pill popper.

There's someone snoring very loudly in the next room. And there's a car with Texas plates outside a house a couple streets over. It's odd how this world works, eh?

I tried my best to drink myself to death tonight. I had at least 5 double crown and cokes and 3 shots. I got nothin'. I ate a salad for dinner and all I can think of is there is a God because one of my bestest buddies needed a ride home and I was that ride.

It's fucked up, the way things are sometimes. It seems I'm coming face to face with them lately and having to figure out why I'm better for it. That's not always easy. But it's necessary it seems.

Well, it's 2 a.m. and I should try to get some rest. Seeing as how it's been eluding me this far...

Hope ya'll are all havin a good Friday.

I'm at home and I'm takin a nap... suckas!

It's good to be me.

Have your nipples ever been so hard they hurt?

Somebody back me up on this. When it's realllly cold and all the sudden you're like DAMN!

Anyway...

Good news on the waxing front. It's getting better. I only hurt myself in one spot tonight. And that's because for some reason I waxed over a spot I'd already hit. Whoops. Don't ever wax over freshly waxed skin. PAAAIIIINNNN. You might as well be skinning yourself. Yick.

Anyway, I got a C on that stupid Stats test... which apparently was about the norm. This prof is so bad that he has us put our ID's on our tests instead of our names strictly for the purpose of being able to write "nasty notes" to the test taker in good conscience, not knowing whom the test belongs to. He shouldn't have told us that before hand. Because you'll always have people in the class, such as myself, who don't deal well with that type of cowardice and pre-emptively write nasty notes themselves, knowing he's going to read them. And I did just so. And he actually thanked me which I thought was kind of funny.

Anyway, tomorrow's my last day at work this week. Wooo HOOO! I took off Friday to chill and catch my breath mid-party. Stillwater, OKC, then maybe Weatherford with the boys. We shall see. Either way it will be a nice break from the crazies.

Well, I should get some sleep. I feel the sniffles coming on and I WILL NOT BE SICK this weekend. And if I am, I'm going to take Ragan's long standing advice to just stay fucked up so I'll never know the difference.

Well, the dingo officially ate my blog. Please note the handy dandy new blogspot address. This is the only solution, presently.

What a day it's been. As usual. Sweet kids. Crazy parents. Don't smoke crack, people. It doesn't do a body good. And don't beat the shit outta your kids either. Quit being stupid, get a job, and play nice.

That's all it takes. Geez.

It's off to find out how badly I flunked this stats test...

Blogger sucks.

Well, the world's most unlikely criminal has recovered. I'm back into the swing of things after the most distressing day I've had in a while. When it rains, it freakin' pours. But all is well now and the sun is shining outside. I wonder how long it'll be til it snows. That'll be nice.

I really don't have much to say. It's tuesday and I have to go back to freakin school this week. It's hard after a week off. Oh well. Such is life. What's for lunch??

Out!

So here's the deal. I'll rehash it one more time. I went downtown to do an assessment with a client this morning. Yeah, I sorta became the client. I handed my driver's license to the lady behind the bullet proof glass and she ran a background check on me. Suddenly there's like a flurry of commotion behind the receptionist desk and I look at my boss and say, "Yeah, this doesn't look good. But everything should be fine b/c I don't have any unpaid tickets and I only had one warrant for a ticket I paid late like five or six years ago, but that got taken care of in Cleveland County." No big deal, right? Wrong.

I'm afraid we have a warrant for your arrest and you are not free to leave the building.

By the everloving grace of GOD the security guard who served me with the warrant found me at least somewhat believable (that this should have been cleared up a long time ago) and he pled my case to the sergeant, the guards, and all the people who get to say (or not say) cuff 'er and lock 'er up! So I handed my boss all my papers and my jacket, but still managed to smuggle my earrings in. I was particularly proud of that. Thanks to the nice security man, I was just barely able to pay my TWENTY DOLLAR BOND and be processed without actually having to don the orange jumpsuit and flip flops. It was traumatizing nonetheless.

Do you have any suicidal thoughts? Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose? Do you want to hurt yourself today? Let me take your blood pressure.

167/117. Ma'am. If you don't try to relax we're going to have to take you to the hospital. Are you nervous?

WTF? ARE YOU SERIOUS? I'm in FUCKING PRISON WITH MURDERERS (no joke, the guy cuffed next to me was awaiting processing for first degree murder). I'm a little FREAKED OUT.

Then the inmates down the hall started pounding on the windows and the doors because the guards wouldn't let them out to go to the bathroom. I watch Oz, people. I know what happens. I was just waiting for there to be some sort of jail break and for me to get my neck snapped in the stampede only for the prisoners to rape my limp, lifeless body after I've died.

So I started crying. I couldn't help it. I thought I was going to die. And if it wouldn't have been for that nice old man, they would have kept me overnight b/c of the holiday. The courts are closed until 8 a.m. tomorrow. He convinced exactly 10 people that he thought I'd taken care of the warrant 6 years ago and that I didn't need to spend the night in jail. Which is good. Because more realistically I would have spent the night in the hospital from a stroke. All because some dumbass didn't recall the warrant after I paid it at the Cleveland County police station in September of 99.

The funny thing is there's no record on the OK Supreme Ct Network of me ever even paying the warrant in 99. Somebody's seriously dropped the ball. And I'll be on the phone at 8 a.m. tomorrow to figure out who it is. And then somebody's gonna pay.

Originally uploaded by Daisy Girl.

Outstanding warrant from 1999 that some Cleveland County jackass forgot to recall after I paid him nearly $400 to do it. Cost me $20 and I got to meet a real live murderer. I am officially a hardened criminal. And both of my parents are calling lawyers.

I'm becoming more and more of a hermit. I have every opportunity to bathe, get out of the house, and go shopping today but I opted for the online shopping experience and in 5-7 business days will be receiving a new pair of jeans, a new red shirt, and some sexy knee-high black boots.

I officially slept for 12 hours last night and I still don't want to get up and around today. It's nice to not have anything to do for a couple of days this weekend. No bars, no late nights, no alcohol, just laying around doing absolutely nothing. I think I needed that. However, grocery shopping is on the list today. The fridge is looking pretty bare. I've got some non-fat cheese and some old lettuce. That about covers it.

Well, it looks like it's beautiful outside. Hope you have a safe and happy sunday and that you're close enough to the one you love to wrap your arms around them and say I love you I love you I love you a hundred times.

Originally uploaded by Daisy Girl.

My sweet boy sleeping under the covers :)

Ok here's the deal. There's this little place on Northwest Expressway that apparently nobody knows about and nobody goes to. And you know why? Because it says Brazilian food on the sign.

So my friend Kindra Marie from college turned the ripe old age of 24 today. So we all went to dinner. And I think only one of you really knows any of my friends from college so I'll have to introduce the rest of ya'll. I met Kindra and Liz my first year at OCU. Liz was a Humanities/Women's Studies major and was only in a few of my classes. But she lived with Kindra, who was a fellow English major and in every single one of my classes for three years. Kindra introduced me to the joys of smoking weed and hooking up with boys who were serious into all kinds of eastern religions. Too philosophical for their own good, if you will. But they were so intense when they were drunk and it was awesome. Kindra's the fiery red head who just doesn't give a shit and she'll tell you so. Some of our more conservative teachers had a little difficulty with her. Now Liz was a different story. Liz always had something to say but she was the girl who was out to change the world and always made it a point to prove it. She's still the most beautifully ditzy feminist genius I've ever met. She's got auburn hair, flawless fair skin, and little brown square glasses. I'm so attracted to her in this if I was a lesbian girl and maybe I was in another life but I need the you-know-what-too-much kinda way.

And then we have The Gays. Yes, they've always been The Gays and they always will be. They took us to Copa on graduation night and they are always the ones on the couch laughing wildly through a haze of weed and martinis at our parties. They were thirty minutes late to dinner tonight. Jamie, my seven foot tall best gay guy/girlfriend actually said, "We're gay. What did you expect. That's what we do. We're late."

And that brings us to dinner. Pulling up in the parking lot of Gaucho's I thought, leave it to Kindra to pick some weird obscure foreign food place that nobody's heard of for her birthday. Brazilian food? What the hell is that and I'm glad I have leftovers from Red Rock at home in the fridge. Well, 2 dirty martinis later when The Gays finally got around to gracing us with their presence we were seated. No less than five minutes later we were surrounded by fifteen little Brazilian men holding two and a half foot skewers with slabs of various meats. They didn't leave for an hour and a half.

Would you like some Parmesan chicken?
Top sirloin?
Pork ribs?
Meatball?
Bacon Wrapped Chicken?
Honey BBQ Chicken?
Sausage?
Rack of lamb?
Steak?
Carmelized Bananas?
Grilled Pineapple?

And we had all you can eat garlic mashed potatoes, black beans, rice, collard greens, and cheese biscuits to go with it all.

Now, I'm not really a meat eater. I like chicken. And that's about it. But fuckin A. I had eaten so much meat by the time I left I was literally physically in pain. They serve you and serve you and serve you until you seriously tell them, please take my plate away. I can't eat anymore. I cannot even imagine what their meat budget looks like. Our table ate about six cows, four pigs, and at least seven chickens tonight. And five whole pineapples. It was amazing.

So I guess what I'm saying is nobody advertises this place. It's an incredible atmosphere, they have a full bar and very nicely made dirty martinis I might add, and if you're a meat eater, for twenty bucks you can have the biggest best meal you've ever eaten in your life. Don't let the words Brazilian Food throw you off.

Kindra had a wonderful birthday. And October's turning out to be a really good month. It's finally cold. And I got to hang out with my peeps whom I only see sporadically now that we're all grown up and working our ways into adulthood. Good friends and good times. That's what it's all about.

Here's to many, many, many more. :)

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are having a baby. That is so unfair. I want one.

But not by Tom Cruise. I don't want short kids.

Anyways.

So I wasn't sure about Adam playing with Brandon Jackson tonight but it turned out great. I loved it. Every second of it. And all my girls were there and that just made it so much better.

And here's to all the girls falling in love just because they can. Kick it's ass. That's what life is about. Here and now.

And shout out to one of my best good friends who's under the weather a la noche. I see ya and I love ya. You've got exactly 48 hours. Take your vitamins!

Danke to Maroline for my precious gift tonight. And thanks for providing my backup. I feel good enough when you're around. That's the good thing about girl friends. You are hot! I love you chick.

And for the record, I officially made it through both Ryan Adams and Martin Sexton without crying. Score one for the home team!!

Well, I'm gonna be thoroughly exhausted tomorrow. Gotta take a sweet, angry 11 year old boy to day treatment, then supervise a visit b/w a psychotic meth mom and her two perfect babies. We'll see what else the day holds. But I know there will be sweet sleep at the end of it.

Love you all.

Really.

A Blog for Ragan.

Nothing eventful's going on. And for some reason it's hot as hell in here. 60 degrees tomorrow! Woo HOOO! Fall is here!! Let's all drink and celebrate!!

I'm taking a nap before I come out... that could be dangerous. I don't know why I'm so tired today. I went to bed at 10:30 last night. But I didn't sleep well. I had a dream I got yelled at by a preacher for saying goddamnit. So I'm pretty sure I just said it to him again.

Hmm. Wonder what that means...

I think the general consensus is we need a nap. While I didn't partake in the party last night, I woke up at 1 a.m. exactly and got excited about it being my birthday and decided to return my 15 messages and missed phone calls since midnight. :) I love my drunk friends.

And thanks, R, for lunch today! And thanks C, K, and Craig for coming! I love you guys. Now I'm stuffed and sleepy and get to do it all over again at 7! Woo HOO!

Happy birthday to me!

Fuck it. It's go time.

1:15 a.m. I just so happened to wake up, check the phone, and looks like I've got a lunch date. :) Happy birthday to me! I love you guys!

So here I am. The big 2-6. Strangely enough, feels exactly like the big 2-5. Except now I'm in my late twenties... shit... think I'm going to have to medicate myself and go back to bed. I just realized that. Dammit!!

I think I cuss more now than when I was twenty-five. But I think I deserve to. I went through a lot this year. Well, really not alot. Just one major thing, and that was the job thing. And that was a bitch. See, there I go again! Other than that this year was pretty uneventful. Seriously. I could have used a tad bit more excitement probably. I mean compared to twenty-four, twenty-five was a long nap after 2 Tylenol PM. I only added 2 people to the list. You know, the list. TWO people. I am young and single and only added TWO PEOPLE to the list this year. I have got to work on my game.

;)

Seriously though, I spent a lot of this year just thinking instead of doing. Which was nice for a change, I guess. I made some significant progress in the letting go and walking away department, I suppose. I feel alot farther away, anyway. And in several cases, that's a very good thing. It's amazing what knowing you're leaving in eight months can do to you. It can make you walk away from things you've held onto for years. And it can make you walk right into new ones you'll hold onto for years to come. And not even give a damn. Because you wanna do it and that's all that matters now.

I found old friends, made new ones, and drank lots and LOTS of whiskey. My mom saw me drunk for the first time. I jumped naked into the Beverly Hills Plaza Hotel. I didn't write as many poems as I should have. I went on vacation by myself and loved it. I found the perfect get away for two... and took my best friend. I didn't kiss as many boys as I should have, but I'm making up for it now. And I didn't get drunk with Jefe as much as I should have and we're going to have to work on that. And if I haven't told those of you who are close to me just how much I love each and every one of you lately, I love you and my life wouldn't be the same without you.

And next year, this post will be brought to you by the sunny shores of the pacific.

Don't let me back out.

Alright. I just sneezed exactly 9 times in a row. Might as well cancel any plans I might have had for this weekend because I'll be in bed, sick as a dog. This is what happened the last time I got sick. So you might as well send get well cards along with your birthday wishes.

Dammit!

Anyway, I was looking back through my archives and realized that I spent my last birthday at the Vince Neil show. Party. And the birthday before that I was at a Seth James show (whom I said just 3 nights ago I'd never heard of before, but apparently I have). And my 24th year recap was pretty interesting, and in the best interests of time and this backwards ass paper I have to write tonight, I'll save the 25th year recap for tomorrow.

Many thanks to Pinky for dinner and drinks tonight. You know you're out with a good friend when she can ask you over chinese... "So, on a scale from 1-10, how good is the sex?"

Right on. ;)

My mommy loves me. At least when she's not telling me how huge I am...

But such is the way of mothers, I suppose.

She sent me a very sweet birthday card today that also included a very sweet check. :) This is the first birthday in 26 years I won't see her. Kinda makes me sad. Oh well. Dad's taking me to Red Rock tomorrow night. So that makes me feel better. :)

No big party plans this year. Guess that means I'm growing up. Not going to the show tonight due to 1) social anxiety problems in Ragweed crowds 2) cash shortage 3) a paper that's due tomorrow night at the class I'm skipping. So those of you who go, have a shot at midnight for me. Tomorrow night will be a quiet night again, then Wednesday night I'll spend swooning in front of Adam Hood. This weekend... we'll see. It's all up in the air.

I'm sure I'll have some year long sentimental birthday blog at some point tonight. Prepare yourselves. It's been an interesting year...

Way better than Piano Camp...

I took a 4 1/2 hour nap today and am about ready to go back to bed for good.

What a weekend. Got to hang out with some of my favorite people in the world... good times had by all! I think one of the valuable lessons we learned this weekend is that if you're going to be over 40, wearing a short skirt, and dancing like a hooker, don't forget to wear panties! It will be better for all involved, trust me.

My favorite quote from the weekend... "Now that's takin' one for the team!"

It's officially my birthday month.

I feel like I'm sleep walking. I drove to Wichita Falls straight from work yesterday to watch half of a Texas Jack set, get rained on, get sick/drunk, and leave at 8 this morning.

Then headed to Tuttle to Maroline's parent's hacienda to work on some wedding stuff and I'm officially all folded and stuffed out.

Got home. Had a mailbox full of curiosities all address to yours truly. I ordered one book for school that came in, as well as The Washingtonienne which looks absolutely delicious, and the corset I was waiting on which will grace my bosom's on Caroline's wedding day finally showed up. Mmmm, a Merry Widow indeed!

I also got something I haven't gotten in years, I think. A real live hand written letter from someone I love very much. It made me cry happy tears. We should all be so lucky to have someone in our lives that will actually take the time and effort to write something down on a piece of paper, get a .37 stamp and stick it in a mailbox. It's the little things...

And now I'm off to nap, shower, and head back out to the rock n roll show. Round 2, here we go...