I'm starting the last day of 2004 in a nice, extremely hot bubble bath. It's 12:45 a.m. And it's officially the end of one of the best years of my life.

And I'll finish this right after my nice relaxing bath, complete with bubbles and spa music.

Ok, I'm back. This is something you should know about me. There are two things I love above all else: bubble baths, and Pepsi Icee's from 7-11. I used to say when I was younger, if a boy wants to marry me all he has to do is show up with an Icee. And I remember one of my high school boyfriends coming over when I was sick once... he asked if he could bring me anything and I said an Icee. He brought me a slush. From Sonic. It was a bust. But of course, I just said thank you and smiled. That's me.

Things I probably won't do in 2005:

Start an exercise routine.
Get married.
Watch the Ashlee Simpson show.

Anyway, back to 2004. We haven't much time left. This year was phenomenal, all in all. I finished a 6 1/2 year stint in college and did it brilliantly, if I do say so myself. And I count myself very fortunate as I didn't have to sell my soul, float through it mindlessly, or fit into some preformed mold to get that little piece of paper. I've said it before, but my school and my professors are responsible for much of who I am today. I guess you could say they left a mark. Then I landed a job that I had no business landing and for some reason I have very accomplished and successful people praising me for my efforts. And I moved from a tiny one bedroom apartment in the seedy part of town to a 3 bedroom house in a better neighborhood. I still continue to look at my life and say how in the hell did any of this happen. I am not that good. I feel like some incredibly generous and gracious whirlwind swept me up and spit me out in Emerald City.

Sounds that will always remind me of 2004:

Goodnight Moon, Jack Ingram
Outkast, That song with all the instruments in it
Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy, The freakshow with the rapper, a midget and 2 white guys
Comfortable, John Mayer

I've been thinking about the things I want to do differently in 2005... there are several things. One is to not take myself so seriously. I've discovered that I go through different phases, and they're very short lived I might add. They usually last about 2 weeks or so. And they span the gamut of issues in my life. For instance, my current phase is setting my mind to just play around for the next 2 1/2 years until I'm set up in my career to leave the state, then worry about finding my soul mate later. But if you would have asked me a month ago, I would have said, I wouldn't mind finding him now. I may have even used the word want. Ick, it makes me nauseous to even think about it now. I'm learning I'm just fluid like that. Just give me 2 seconds and I'll change. So I'm trying to love that part of me.

Another less dramatic thing is I'm trying to eat healthier. And this isn't a New Year's Resolution because I started it the beginning of this week. I guess I'm just getting a running start. More whole wheat. More veggies. So far, so good.

Most Interesting People I've Gotten to Know in 2004
Dave Ray
Jeff Franklin
Matt Gambrell
...they all have one thing in common... they're all great story tellers.

And I think 2005 will be a good year for the blog. I've fluctuated back and forth from bad girl to good girl to somebody in between. I think we can all agree we write while being conscious of our audience, and I think that's held me back alot. I do have to see some of these people face to face every now and then... but I think we've all had a good year of reading and commenting and whatnot and you have a general idea of where I'm coming from, so now I can start telling the truth. And you can still love me :) Or not, and that's ok too because I'll love you anyway.

I couldn't even begin to name all the people who were major parts of my life this year that I'm sure will continue to be on my drunk dial list well into the New Year. Many of them are linked to the left and some of them aren't. As for my predictions for 2005, I don't have many. I have a strict rule of simply riding the wave and seeing where it goes. I can say that I hope the new year sees more peace and less war, more love and less silence, more boldness and less timidity, and more and more happiness for all of you.

May you find what you truly desire and may we all do it gracefully.

Love and hugs and tons o' kisses.

Be safe out there.

A Star in the Making

Callouses on the fingers. I'm telling you people, it's amazing what a little practice will do.

Metamorphosis. Yeah.

I can play. I can sing. It's the playing and singing at the same time that is still eluding me.

You just wait.

I know TWO songs.

Looks like I'm going to have to refund the "Ashly and Her One Song" tour tickets.

Damn.

And I've been thinking... I've been reading too... and there are people out there who are apologizing for things they think... things they write... and I think in 2005, I'm gonna make it a point not to be one of those people.

You know why?

Because alot of you know me, and alot of you don't. And the ones who do, love me and the ones who don't, would probably love me if they knew me :) And only because I try to be a loveable person. Give peace a chance and all that jazz. And if I write about crazy things or things that may be a bit off kilter, it's just cuz there's that tiny little part of me that is screaming to get out. So in 2005, if it gets spicier or softer or keener, you'll know it's just a piece of me... a piece that makes up a much bigger whole :) I just want to give you something to remember me by.

Something real.

Ok, so has anybody been watching "Love is in the Heir" on E! ? I think this is my new favorite show. I love Princess Ann Claire. I guess the whole premise of the show is her living in LA with aspirations of becoming a country singer/songwriter all the while trying to find the man suitable to fill the Prince job as prescribed by mommy and daddy back in Europe or wherever.

I think this is why God didn't make me a for real princess. I would have ended up being disowned by my family and probably kicked out of the country for being a disgrace to the family by trading dinners and fancy meet and greets for the backseat of some greaser's motorcycle.

Anyway, watching the show is giving me ideas. I wanna go on one of those speed dating things. I think it would be great blog fodder. I could probably even parlay it into some sort of book deal. The wheels are turning... maybe a new project for 2005!

I am officially obsessed with my new phone. I downloaded a new ringtone today... and I can't wait til the day I go to class and forget to put it on silent... suddenly in the middle of an intense debate about welfare reform you hear Sammy Hagar shout, "Wabo! Wabo! Wabo! Cabo Wabo!...... Mas Tequilla!!!"

Yay!

Pinky and I just went out for drinks. Very impromptu like. Now I need some music. Hmmm... aahhhh yeah. Fire on the Ponchertrain.

Tucker's having problems. He's wallering around on the table and kicking my hands while I'm trying to type. Stupid F-ing epileptic cat. Not really, but whatev.

Nothing like a few drinks on a Tuesday night. Just ask Mr. Franklin. But he's in NYC right now participating in all kinds of debauchery, I suspect. Hey Josh, I want your number so I can drunk dial coast to coast next time I feel like it!

Man it's 1:30 a.m. and I have absolutely nothing to do. I worked really hard today. Slept til 11, took a nap at 1 then went shopping. But THEN I came home and cooked a wonderful dish of tomato basil rotini w/ lemon pepper chicken while making cafe curtains for the kitchen and putting together a bookshelf for the office. I, my friends, am the ultimate woman. I know this. Except now my house is kind of a wreck. And if I was the uber ultimate woman I'd clean it. But I've got to save something for tomorrow, right?

Well, I got nothin else. Happy Hump Day, all.

Seacrest out.

OMG Willy Wonka is on. And just in time to see the Oompa Loompas.

Yep. The jumbo 64-count neon Crayola box threw up all over my blog.

Tasty. I think I'll leave it like this for a while.

Tired girl.

I worked hard today.

You should have seen me skipping through the isles at Home Depot after I found the perfect toaster AND microwave ON SALE.

And then at Target after finding spinach spaghetti and tomato basil rotini... as well as a new book shelf, the perfect little white eyelet table cloth and a new runner for the dining room table... and I still have $75 left on my gift card!!

And at Garden Ridge where I found the two most perfect pictures for my new ultra modern kitchen and about a zillion other little nick nacky things to take up space on my shelves.

Then I came home and rearranged furniture. Oh yeah, while trying to figure out all the features on my handy dandy new cell phone. I can record video with sound and everything. OH man. This is one of those things you should be able to pay a flat $5 fee to have them shut it off when you're drunk. This is gonna be trouble, I can tell already.

Anyway, now I'm pooped. All tuckered out. Ready to hit the hay and whatnot. Get my beauty rest. So I get get up tomorrow and do it all over again!!

Yay Christmas money!

Damn it is good to be home.

It's 11 p.m. and I've never been so happy in my life. The last 72 hours were possibly the longest in my life... but possibly the most well-fed.

I forgot to turn the heat off at la hacienda so when I got in tonight it felt just like walking into a sauna. Lovely. So now I've got the AC going, and I feel like a dumbass. Cuz it's December.

Christmas at mom's parents was fairly uneventful. Both of my uncles were there and I don't think I've been in the same room with both of them since I was 8 or so due to their various experiences being crackheads and doing stints in the big house and whatnot. But whatevah. They're family, ya know.

Poppa told me a great story about how he secretly watches professional poker tournaments on ESPN in the back bedroom. Oh, I dearly love it. Then he told me about how he lost everything but his shorts one time in an impromptu game below deck on his carrier while in the navy.

After the pomp and ceremony was over at that house, we drove even farther east 4 hours to the other grandparents house where we joined the step-family in all its awkwardly goodness. And I'll be damned if we didn't get to watch Fox News, of all things, for 6 hours straight and listen to dad make comments like (and I'm quoting), "The Jews control all the money in the world." (And his proof for this is that Allen Greenspan is the Chairman of the Federal Reserve. Good point dad, and very well founded. And intelligent at that.) This is what Fox News does to you, people! I wanted to pull out the stoopid stick and beat him with it until he cried like a little girl.

I spoke my piece then took a deep breath and told myself in only a few hours, I would be back on the road going home. And I've come to realize, the older you get, the more totally useless gifts you get, usually from people you don't really know. And you also have to spend more money buying gifts for those same people. Can't we just cut out the middle man and give these people a nice hug and send them on their way instead of having to trudge the 6 hour drive home with a trunk full of gifts from the Dollar Store?

Anyway, I'm glad it's over and done with. Now, 364 days til we get to do it all over again. But in the meantime, I'm taking the whole week off and doing alot of shopping, alot of sleeping, and a lot of reflection. I'm realizing I go through phases and I think it's funny... because I take every phase so seriously, when in reality, just give me a couple of weeks and I'll change my mind. (More about this in my New Year's post.)

Anyway, hope everybody had a safe and happy holiday. Hopefully you'll have some time to recover now.

Peace out.

There's no champagne in the champagne room.

I can post what I want cuz nobody's going to be reading this between now and New Years right?

FYI, Victoria's Secret semi-annual sale just started for those of you interested. Get it while the gettin's good. Or in my case, while the gettin's non-existent. Anyway, it's just an idea of how to make that post-Christmas dollar stretch as far as possible.

I watched a documentary tonight of Robert McNamara talking about military issues and the Vietnam War. (He was the Secretary of Defense under Kennedy and Johnson.) They played alot of recorded conversations between him and Johnson regarding Vietnam. Man, it was eerily familiar. Johnson was using words like "win the hearts and minds," and "spreading freedom and democracy." And then at one point he actually said to McNamara, "I know we're losing but we can't pull out. It would be bad for the country psychologically." When he said that, the death count was just over 25,000. And I can't compare Iraq to Vietnam in the respect that at the end of Vietnam 58,000 soldiers were dead (that they knew of), and we're just over 1,000 now in Iraq. But I think they have alot in common as far as the administration's perspectives on total US domination and the right to do whatever we please whenever we please.

Anyway, it was very interesting. McNamara broke down in tears at several points and said he didn't want to make any further comments about his stance on the war. He said he did what he thought was best at the time. And pointed out as a side note that it tore his family apart, and more than likely was the cause of his wife's death. Man, what people will sacrifice in the name of dogma.

Anywho, it's now officially Christmas Eve. Tell someone close to you that you love them and that your life is better because they're in it.

Peace.

Friends and Neighbors,

This is my last official day of blogging before jolly old St. Nick takes his midnight ride through the skies delivering loads of cheer to children around the world. Well, Christian children anyway.

I barely slept a wink last night. It was so cold. I had the heat cranked up to like 86 degrees and it was still cold in my house. I guess I'm gonna have to pull out the old trusty dusty oil heater so I don't have to keep sleeping in my socks. And people, I have a major snoring problem. I have no idea what to do about it. I was snoring so loud last night that I woke myself up. That's when you know it's bad. And I had a series of five really funky dreams last night. It was just weird all the way around.

I sure wish this dry, crumbly sugar cookie I'm eating was a chocolate chip cookie. I guess next time I send someone out for lunch and say, "Bring me a cookie," I need to specify what kind of cookie. I thought chocolate chip was just standard. Maybe not.

I got my first Christmas present last night. It was a book. And it looks to be a very interesting book. I read a little bit of it last night before going to bed and I found myself chuckling. It's funny when people say things like, "I like his writing style," or, "My writing style came from his," you can actually hear that person's voice in your head while you're reading. It's kinda trippy, but fun nonetheless. And it made me feel good to know someone outside my immediate family actually contemplated what to give me.

We've been listening to classical music the last two days at work. I love it. It just makes me feel good for some weird reason. Mostly it reminds me of fairytales like Wizard of Oz and Marry Poppins. And I feel like I'm lost inside of one of those sidewalk drawings, all colorful, wet, blurry, and soft.

Got lots of presents still to wrap tonight. And Dani, mom and I will be doing our Christmas tomorrow morning. Then it's off to Rogers, AR to do Christmas with mom's parents on Christmas eve. And Christmas day we'll be headed to central Arkansas to do Christmas with dad's parents. And then Sunday it's home. Thank goodness. I have nothing to do but shop my little heart out next week. And maybe plan my next trip, hopefully to the west coast.

I've got no plans for New Year's. Tucker and I may camp out and eat black eyed peas and cross our fingers that 2005 is even better than 2004. Dani asked me to go to Dallas with her; she's going to the Cotton Bowl. That's always an option but I think I may just have some Ashly time... time to reflect on last year and figure out what I want to do different next year.

Either way, everybody have a wonderful holiday and a safe and happy New Year. :)

Merry Christmahanukwanzica!

Kerry and I just got back from our annual Christmas lunch at Ted's. I saw a girl my sister grew up with and my 7th & 8th grade English teacher, who was also my cheerleading coach. This is why I moved away from the south side. Norman is the same deal. Everywhere you go, it's somebody you know who wants to know what you're doing, how your parents are, if you're married, and what freakin' church you're going to now.

Well, I'm usually hungover on Sunday mornings.

Anyway, it dawned on me today that I still have quite a bit of shopping to get done before Friday morning. The shopping I don't mind so much, the decision making about what to get whom I could definitely do without. I always put off getting gifts for the difficult people til the last minute. What do you get a 72 year old man who only likes guns and locomotives? Braum's gift certificates, that's what. And dad? I have no idea. He needs a new hoodie, so maybe I'll stop by Academy and see what they have. And then you have the whole "new wife" and extended family to tackle. Hopefully Dani can pick some things up and I'll split them with her.

But I'm definitely gonna have to go shopping tonight. Maybe I'll do what Mr. Franklin did and just get schnockered then go shopping. That'll be more fun, right?

Kerry gave me a bottle of wine for Christmas, among other things. This is cool becuase my new pub set has a wine rack built into it.

And my good friend Matthew, whom I've had a crush on since I was 14, popped in to say hello today. (But true to form and par for the course for my crushes, he's entirely too short for me.) He's high rolling in Nahsville these days doing studio work and being the executive assistant to the CEO at Warner Brothers and I suspect trying not to sell his soul at the same time.

And I'm looking at my site stats and laughing. Who are you people? Introduce yourselves!

Dear God,

More snow, please.

Enough so I can't leave my house for at least three days. Quit wasting it all on Ohio.

Thanks,
Ash

Yay lil sisters!

I wanted to come home today and just chill for a bit and wrap some Christmas presents. But mom called before I left work and asked me to come to Edmond to look at a pub set she was thinking about buying me for Christmas. So I drug my butt all the way up there for her to decide it wasn't worth what they were asking for it, nor was it what I really wanted.

So she decides we should go to Mathis Brothers (insert all derogatory nicknames here) and it just so happens to be 5 p.m. on the dot. So about an hour later we get there and they don't have anything either. And if there's anything I loathe, it's going to Mathis Brothers or any other furniture store where three thousand commission-hungry sales people attack you the minute you set foot in the place. I know it's their jobs, but I hate it. It makes me not want to buy anything ever.

So after we left there, we tried two or three other places. No luck. Just a short little salesmen guy who tried to convince me that his UCO education was liberal arts. Ok, man. Whatever you say. How's the furniture business? (Nothing personal to all my UCO grad friends. :) But this guy got on my nerves. He's dating a "dance management" major from OCU.)

Anyway, we ended up finding one at a discount furniture store on 23rd. And it is perfect. It took an hour and a half to put together but my kitchen is finally starting to look like a place one would actually not hate spending time. Just a few more touches and we'll be golden.

And now it's midnight and I'm tired and wishing tomorrow was Thursday for some reason. Can we please move right along with this wonderful season of cheer? I'm ready for a whole week off of doing absolutely nothing. Nada. Sleeping. And there's half a bottle of crown in the freezer that needs drinking. Any takers?

And look what my horoscope says today... A romantic issue is beautifully resolved tonight without a lot of effort from either party. Yummmmm.

So, my assistant got engaged on Friday. The ring and the whole shabang. Apparently she let him know she's been waiting for it for a long time and wasn't particularly happy about that fact. And it seems, all's good in the hood now, as she declared, "We don't fight about it anymore."

Yeah, I guess not.

And I read somewhere that if you call your significant other more than three times a day for no reason at all, you're codependent. And I don't buy into the whole codependency thing because I think it's ridiculous, but the people have a point about the pointless calling thing. I mean what can you possibly need after phone call #4 in two hours? Don't you have a job? Or a pet? Or a hobby? Or something?? Let's see, lemme check the caller ID...

4 times since 11 a.m. It's not even 2 p.m.

Grrrrrrrrr... you know what's worse? When we're with clients and the cell phone is ringing off the hook... then he tries the work phone... MAN, she's not answering for a reason.

And I guess we've all been there, but DAMN!

And here comes #5...

Just a random thought...

Anna Nicole Smith in the trim spa ads. This time she's stuck in a huge piece of PVC pipe to a song that goes meow meow meow meow. Ok. I'm ready for my close up. Her hair is the result of a great peroxide job. She has on fake eyelashes. Veneers on her teeth. (Have you seen how they do that?? OUCH!) And she has great big ol' fakies. So let's think about her, just like God made her... brown hair, slightly crooked teeth, eyelashes just like the rest of us, flat chested, and an 8th grade education.

Is this beautified/sexified thing really worth it? And at what point to you become just one great big living, breathing lie?

I could sleep all day today and be just fine.

I remembered half way to work this morning that I have a meeting with one of our board committees tonight. But these are my movers and shakers so it should be fairly quick and to the point. Nevertheless, it does take a chunk out of my Monday night... which I would spend watching movies and wrapping Christmas presents. Oh well. Christmas is almost here. I haven't been excited about Christmas since I was 17 or 18 I think. I'm... ambivalent. And just ready to have my next big thing to look forward to.

And I'll be coming into a decent amount of money fairly soon, and I plan on spending it well. Sure I should use it to pay off some debt and pay some bills and responsible adult things like that. But I'm a firm believer that when you're happy, things just fall in line. And traveling would make me happy. A few years ago I decided that I needed to go to the west coast at least once a year until I move there permanently. And I didn't get to go this year because of all the big things going on, graduation, new job, new house, etc. That just means I have to go twice in 2005. Which is cool with me. So I'm planning a trip in Jan or Feb.

Hello sunshine!

I slept til 1 p.m. this afternoon. That felt good.

Even though I got home relatively early last night. Well, at least earlier than I had expected. But, apparently that's what happens when you grow up. People have bedtimes and such.

And I was in such a bad mood when I woke up this afternoon. Gripe gripe gripe... and mostly about things I have no control over.

So Jeff decided fire was the cure for all that ailed me. So he broke in the new torch and I have no idea how, but he talked me into filling my mouth with a clear liquid that came out of a bottle labeled "Lamp Oil," and I spit it as hard as I could at the flames. And of course, I turned out to be a horrible spitter. I'm sure my mother would be proud I haven't mastered that art. Anyway, he says you have to practice in the shower. So I'm gonna have to wake up like 5 minutes earlier every morning just to make sure I get this whole fire blowing/spitting paraffin at an open flame thing down.

He was right though... I forgot what I was in a bad mood about, probably mostly due to the lingering taste of lamp oil in my mouth. But whatever works, ya know.

And then it was mimosas at Pearl's and some movies including some ATHF. And I still think the Nathan Scott Phillips episode is my favorite. You can't kill him! He's my best friend!

And Jeff let me borrow a shirt cuz mine was covered in paraffin and he gave me a lovely black t-shirt that says, "Nevada's Pleasure Points," with a map of the state outlining the locations of places like "Mona's Club," and "Penny's Cozy Corner." And it's 11:20 p.m. and I just realized I've been wearing a t shirt with a girls naked butt on it all day. Wonderful. I'm glad I had a jacket on.

Thanks Jeff. :)

Ah the joys of the new American family.

The parents and step parents expect you to be everywhere at the same time. You know, if I had some gay relatives these events might be a little more entertaining. But no. I get stuck with only the hick/redneck variety. It's ok though, and you know why?

Because this evening and well into the wee morning hours, I have one mission and one mission only: get my shamelessly drunk flirt on. With everyone. And you know why?

Cuz the reason for the season is pleasin'. And I ain't gettin' a whole lot of pleasin'.

Anyway, I'm sure this will be a night that goes down in... well... probably just a night that goes down. And I've got front row seats to the freak parade.

So we've already started planning our Sunday morning quotes. Here they are:

Yesterday, December 18, 2004 - a date which will live in infamy - I was suddenly and deliberately attacked by Jagermeister and CaboWabo forces of the Empire of Parkerson.

No, that was not me sitting in the corner crying with a bottle of Tequilla.
Why do you ask?

Feel free to add your own.

So, change in plans.

There will be no chick flick music tonight. Which may or may not be a good thing.

But there will be music, just not sure where yet. It's impossible to stay home after you've already geared up for a night out. So maybe tomorrow night will be my night in-- doing the Christmas present thing.

Cause Lord knows all heck's gonna break loose Saturday. As it turns out, alllllll of my favorite people are going to be partaking in the Christmas party festivities. Even Matt. Somebody keep the little irish man away from the whiskey. :)

Anyway, man I read this story today about that doctor who is accused of setting people on fire during surgery. I guess he was being a smart ass and told the prosecutors, "I didn't do it, but I tried. Man, I kept mixing different solutions together but it just wouldn't light!" So now they're admitting that as a confession I guess. And he has a patient who says she was burned. I think it's kinda funny. And just proves why people like Jeff should never go into the medical profession :)

Anywho, I don't have anything to do til 12:30 tomorrow afternoon so tonight's gonna be fun :)

Peace out homie g.

Opera Season in Ojai

I awoke this morning to a beeeaaautiful Italian serenade.

I miss you too, dear. And I'll call you when you're sober. :)

It seems we'll be making a trip to the Farmer's Market this evening to see Judson Layne and Shannon Horn. I love this kind of music. It makes me wanna go home and watch chick flicks.

What's up with me & the chick flicks lately? I'm not typically that kinda girl. I'm telling you, something weird is going on.

I like movies like Man on Fire with Denzel Washington... and the part where he's cutting that guy's fingers off one by one.

And lots of scary movies and dark dramas. I dig those. What does that say about me? Oh well. I guess I just like things that are interesting and unpredictable. That explains everything.

A chick flick life would be so much easier, don't you think?

Ah well. Happy Thursday all!

I hit the motherload.

Kerry brought her CD's to work today. She's got every Dave Matthews ever recorded.

And about a zillion more. Good. Just what I need. More CD's.

Anybody want anything?

Justin Timberlake? Jessica Simpson? The Clueless Soundtrack? Anyone?

I put my hand upon your hip, when I dip you dip we dip...

Guess what? The lil sis rolls into town this Friday!!! Yay! And you know what that means...

Good people of Guthrie, hold onto your hats!

--------------------------------------------------------------------

So ODB died from a drug overdose after all, and Scott Peterson got the death penalty.

And once again we've learned public travel is pretty much never safe anywhwere, not even in Greece. Somebody's always got a backpack full of dynamite or a bomb in their shoe.

So this guy puts out a blook. And does an interview on a tech-y tv show. And says girls read his blog and get naked. That's interesting. All because of words on a screen.

We are interesting creatures aren't we.

And I watched the coolest movie last night. It's called Love the Hard Way... 2001, with Adrien Brody and some other people I didn't know. Brody played a smooth talking bad boy/con. And he wouldn't be your typical first pick for that role I would think... they must have seen the same Travel cover I did...

Baby blue suit, white button up untucked, top two buttons undone, no tie, hands in pockets, standing on a park bench in front of a lake, legs crossed, barefooted, head tilted just slightly to the left.

It's amazing what a picture can do for a person.

I still think this is the coolest picture of my cat. He looks scary doesn't he. Nah, he's just a big pussy cat. :)

Google is a wonderful thing. I get a good laugh at what people are searching for and end up with me. Here are my current favorites:

member net cox ass girl (Niiiiice.)

After the bad guy killed off all the underdeveloped characters...

And my current favorite:

jason boland DRUNK

Man, just goes to show you... you never know what you're gonna get.

How 'bout this?

Tara Reid, Scott Peterson, CNN, The Bush Administration, Eminem, Usher, Johnny Depp, and Halo 2.

Take that Google!

Ok so after all that complaining...

I suppose I should write something cheerful. Well, there are many perks to my job. So dealing with the bureaucratic bs pays off sometimes. #1) My schedule is incredible. You would not BELIEVE how nice it is. My world doesn't exist before 10 a.m. every morning. And I'm usually done by 4:30 or 5, sometimes a little later, but what the heck, I'm not even puttin in a full 8 hours! AND it's only 4 days a week (at this point at least). 2005's probably going to be a bit busier and more hectic, and I'm sure our hours of operation will change. But guess what? I'm the boss. SO. If I need to take a long lunch, I can. If I need to come in late because I had to run errands, I can. And it's ok, because I'm gonna kick tail while I'm in the office. And I do plenty of extra things like special events and speaking engagements to make up for the really super nice schedule. And mind you, I stayed at this job even making little tiny peanuts because I knew eventually, I'd be fairly compensated and have the creative freedom I needed to get the job done. So I spent a few years eating Taco Bell and Ramen and it paid off. Endurance, it's the word of the day.

#2) My volunteers bring me presents. I had one bring me a whole Christmas tin full of homemade candy. Wow. Like I needed that. And it's almost all gone. Then today, I had one bring me the plushest, most softest oversized fleece blanket I've ever seen. Which only reinforces my desire to camp out on the couch today.

#3) I have to be thankful for a board that loves me and encourages me. Not many people in my position have that. They are constantly fighting and frustrated with their board members. Not me. The overwhelming majority of mine are incredible individuals that I am humbled to be working for. So I'm very thankful for them.

There. My delayed case of the Monday's seems to be over for the moment.

And Pinky's thinking about letting me tag along to NYC with her in May. Yay! Vacation!

Ever have one of those days when you just wanna go home from the very beginning?

Days like this, I'd take a personal day if I didn't have dinner with a board member tonight. There are days when I can really see why it's important for people in the "helping" fields to take personal time and just be able to chill for a bit.

And oddly enough, it's not the people needing help who wear me out. It's the whole organizational machine. It's the politics. And it's just too much sometimes. Sometimes it's enough to make you wanna throw your hands up and just give up on humanity.

I need a professional hour long massage.

I need a big bowl full of chocolate chip cookie dough and an Icee from 7-11.

I need Love Actually, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Only You, and Steel Magnolias. And a blanket.

And 3 Tylenol PM.

I've got 50 pounds of corn feed sitting next to me this very minute.

I had no idea how much to get. The lady said, "How many chickens?"

And we decided I needed a fifty pound bag. It was only $6.00.

And the boy who loaded it into my car was so cute and so nice. Have a nice evening, ma'am.

And it got me thinking. There's still part of me that needs that boy. The one who can sympathize with the me who grew up on the dirt back roads with headlights out going 80 mph in the dark, and really really loud music, and the IYFR in Shawnee. And coming home to grilled hamburgers and sitting on the back porch. And spending Friday nights at football games and Saturday nights at the shed listening to bad bands and at 50's hanging out with friends.

And another part of me wants something totally different. Or maybe just a grown up version of that. Is that possible? I'm still thinking about it. But something is definitely happening.

And the chicken feed? It's for Christmas gifts. Corn packs. Homemade heating pads. Feels sooooo good. If you're lucky, you just might get one. :)

Big ups to J Rock! :)

I didn't realize you were reading. Good to know.

And Andy too.

And speaking of high school. He (Jerrell) is the 2nd person to ask if I'm going to the alumni game and banquet. Uh no. I've never been and we've been out for a good 7 1/2 years. Why would I start now? I was persona non grata to most of the administration in my short 3 years there and have no desire to revisit those wonderful days. Plus, I don't have any info on it. And I never go to events that aren't promoted properly. It's just a matter of principle. They know where I am. Trust me. Those people latch on for life.

So I'm gonna have to gracefully sit this one, and every one for the next twenty or thirty years, out. But if everybody's coming in to town, let's do dinner. Just like old times.

Well look what we have here: pipe cleaners, a stapler, and a pound of human hair!

Do you ever have those moments when you're just sitting somewhere by yourself or you're out somewhere in public and something pops in your head and you start laughing uncontrollably? I had one of those moments this morning just sitting at my desk. Kerry was like what in the world are you laughing at?

I was at Jeff's on Saturday night and we ended up watching a couple of episodes of Aqua Teen Hunger Force. And I was thinking about the one where Meatwad gets a pet snake and names him Nathan Scott Phillips. Hahahahaha. He said, "This is my good friend, Nathan Scott Phillips!"

We also watched the one where Shake gets a mail order bride. She's been here for a whole day and I'm still hungry!!

Man I love that show. Maybe that's what I want for Christmas :)

You know what I love about today?

1) It's going to be in the 40's. It's about time. It's not supposed to be 60 in December. It's not natural.

2) I have absolutely nothing to do tonight. Wow. That feels wooooonderful.

Happy Monday!

Whaddaya say we start our Monday out with a little feel good honesty?

If you'd rather read about insignificant and less entertaining things, scroll down to my next recent posts about my curtains and the show on Friday night.

So, on with the show.

And if you're reading this tonight and it's gone in the morning, it's because I got too embarrassed at this display of truthfulness and had to delete.

Enough with the disclaimers! As is the trend with most people I know, it feels like things are changing. And it feels good. I feel like I'm changing into a different someone. I mean, still foundationally the same, just tweaking things a bit. It's like running a mile when you haven't worked out in a while. It feels a bit uncomfortable til about half way through. Then you get your second wind, and when you're finished you feel like you could do another one.

Really, I just see things out there that I would really like to have eventually. And I want to be in the best position to get those things. Eventually. You know what I'm saying. So I'm working on it. And I'm finding myself in a freaking gaping sea of uncertainty. And I've never really been there before. I like feeling sure. And I like knowing the situation. And I don't like wondering about things. But it's ok. Because even if said things don't really go in my favor, it's just because those things weren't meant to happen, right? It's not because there's something fundamentally wrong with me, right?

I heard someone say something great today and it's something I'm going to try to remember, The earth only moves in forward motion. So everything is a process of progress. And that feels good to know.

And all of that was my way of being vague and ambiguous about the fact that sometimes I start thinking I could really like someone. Then he ends up thinking I'm a freak or something. Or maybe he doesn't really think I'm a freak. Maybe he's just shy or something, and I just think he thinks I'm a freak. And then I start thinking I'm really going to have to start investing in Purina and kitty litter. Because I'm going to end up being Crazy Old Cat Lady.

Ah well. What can ya do.

Je t’aime.

Yay curtains!

I finally finshed my living room curtains. You can't tell but the sash is navy blue, not black. It actually looks pretty good. Actually, it looks awesome for $1.88 a yard.

And who needs curtain rods when you have a hammer and nails.

Oh so Anthro. It's finally starting to feel like home instead of just this place I sleep.

Oh!! I almost forgot! I drilled my first holes today! I'm starting to understand guy's obsession with power tools.

When my work is done and the moon comes up,
I'm gonna call the preacher's daughter and start my truck...

So, if you didn't make it to The Lost Trailer's show. Oh my. That's bad. If there was one show you should have made time for all year, it would have been this one. I feel sad for you.

And you know how I am. Not easily impressed. But these boys. Yeah. Ok. You'll just have to see them to understand.

If the WD did ONE thing right this year, and God knows they needed to, it was these guys. I am officially a fan.

And Ragan, his name is Geoffrey. Yeah.


Cute, no?

Steven, Jackie, & Santa (BFF from Broken Arrow).

Well, my day started off wonderfully. I woke up this morning and had a voice mail from Kerry, "not trying to sound motherly" but wanted to know if I had remembered to call Johnny Carinos yesterday about our Christmas party tonight. (See, they don't take reservations, but they said if you've got a big party coming in, just call a day ahead of time and they'll set up a room for you.)

Well, I forgot. We had alot going on yesterday and it slipped my mind. I thought I had delegated this task to her, but apparently I forgot to do that too. If you know anything about me, you know I'm not a wonderful detail person. Visionary, yes. Idea girl, yes. Details, no. So I picked up the phone, very flustered mind you, and called them. And to my surprise, no problem, we'll have a room set up for you at 6:30.

Awesome. I'm quite sure that 30 people having nowhere to go for their Christmas party would have put a smudge over the excellent job I've been doing. :)

Anyway, all is good and last night at 3 a.m. I found the guitar tabs to my current favorite song. I'm gonna practice practice practice til I get it perfect. Of course I couldn't pick an easy song to just strum along with. It's all finger work where you have to play every note individually. But it's sooo pretty. So anyway, I make take the show on the road and call it, "Ashly and her one song."

You know what one of the best parts about tonight was?

Matt Powell getting up during Wade's break and saying, "Ok, you guys. I've got a new CD. Next time I'm here, please get it. Just get something besides Dragonfly."

That made me laugh. And apparently he's got a new last verse to "Good Thing."

So much for Bridgette.

I know you all love those question email forward thingies. So here's one for your reading pleasure. This one looks kinda interesting. :)

1. How old were you when you had your first real kiss?
March 25, 1995. Fifteen and a half. Cody.

2. How many carats do you expect to receive/give?
Wait. You mean I get a ring?!

3. Who makes you laugh the most?
That's a hard one. Matt makes me laugh the hardest. His overwhelming sarcasm ontop of complete bitterness about his life makes for hours of hilarity. :)
[Editor's Note: I have been instructed to edit the preceeding comment. Ragan makes me laugh the most.]

4. Describe your sense of humor.
Very sarcastic.

5. Choose one word to describe yourself:
Fantabulous

6. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had since 9th grade (3 months or longer)?
Geez. Ummm... five.

7. What's your favorite karaoke song?
Somehow I always end up doing the freakin hardest song in the history of music, Dixie Chicks, Sin Wagon

8. What clique did you belong to in high school:
I'm gonna go with Steph's answer so I it doesn't sound so stuck up coming from me, but yeah...
THE one. I was prom queen, captain of the basketball team, dating the captain of the football team. I was highschool.

9. What is your dream job?
Opening my own non-profit serving women and children... probably in the area of domestic abuse. Either that or family therapy, like reuniting parents with kids who have been taken out of the home.

10. What's the first thing you'd buy if you won $20MM?
This is the Oprah question. I'd use the money to finance said non-profit in #9. But that would also include my salary, so I'm sure I'd get to buy plenty of cool new stuff.

11. Favorite movie?
I have lots. Mostly scary movies. My new favorite is Love Actually.

12. Current favorite group or song?
Still stuck on Todd Snider. Even the old stuff.

13. If you could choose one kind of food to eat forever, what would it be?
The salad and rotisserie chicken from Red Rock.

14. Who wears the pants in the relationship?
Tucker.

15. Choose one of the following to describe yourself:
Dog lover, cat lover, or weird freak who doesn't really like either.
Please.

16. What's the most important physical attribute you look for in the opposite sex? Be honest!!
Well, if I have to be honest... I guess I'll go with shoulders. Yummy. But they're about equal with a great smile.

17. How many kids do you plan to have?
2 or 3. Maybe.

18. How much money would you need to be completely happy?
I'm happy now. To quote the man from #12, "More money, more stress."

19. What is your favorite flower?
You have to ask?

20. What inspires you?
People who take risks and do what they love even if it feels a bit uncertain starting out.

21. What do you have for breakfast most often?
I wake up too late to eat breakfast. I love my life.

22. Whats your middle name?
Danger.

23. Whats your favorite tv show?
Right now, Huff. Showtime.

24. Where did you get this from?
The hottest girl in South Beach.

Morning all my good friends on the internets! If you don't have a Yankee Caramel Pecan candle burning in your office, you're missing out. Yummm.

So I've been doing some thinking again. And this whole EHarmony.com bit, I dunno. Yeah, I know it works and blah blah blah. I mean, I've met the guy my mom is with and he is genuinely cool, not to mention a genius (literally), and loaded. Yee haw. It sounds good in theory and maybe I'll try it if I'm not with someone by the time I'm 30 or so. (Not that there's ANYTHING wrong with being 30 and single, mind you. I know lots o' cool single 30 year olds. Ok not lots. But a few.) But I've thought long and hard about it, for like 15 minutes last night in the bathtub, and the thought of actually meeting the person and starting a serious relationship with someone I'm going to spend the rest of my life with scares the begeezes outta me. I mean, it's all well and good and I wanna be in love and get married and have rugrats as much as the next person, but not right now. I've got at least 2 years of grad school left. And frankly, I just like the idea of picking up and leaving whenever I want too much to give that up right now. NOW, that said, if I met some uber cool chico who didn't mind picking up and going with me, now that's a different story. So I guess it all just depends.

But anyway, I'm thinking about Mr. Parkerson's little comment about having an "internet boyfriend." And may I remind you sir, that you probably would not be my friend today if it weren't for your little blog. And Kevin too. If Whitney hadn't known you guys from your websites, we probably never would have made it past Andrew saying, "This is my friend, Kevin." Then Kevin saying, "This is my friend Ragan." Fortunately, Whitney chimed in with, "Hey! You're Kevmo and the guy from Sweetwebsite!" And the rest is history. Also, just looking down my little links column here to the right, I NEVER woulda known Matt or Ryin. I was reading both of their blogs WAY before they ever decided to come out and show their faces. Same with a few other people I've linked. So, with that in mind, why is it OK to have friendships because of the internet, but not relationships? Answer please.

Alrighty. Let's take a vote.

Mom said she wants to get me a gift certificate to EHarmony.com for Christmas, because supposedly she's found the love of her life thanks to them and I guess wants to spread the wealth. I said Cheese and Rice, Mother. I don't think so.

Do you think I should?

Well this day has been more interesting than expected. I went to my printer's this afternoon to drop off some brochures and get letterhead ordered and ended up in a pseudo counseling session with him. He is the sweetest guy, probably in his early-mid 30's and runs his printing business on his own, and his mom is the office manager. There is virtually no overhead because he offices in a small warehouse. There's a table along the wall with a phone on it where he does all of his paper work. Anyway, I walked in on a tense sounding phone call between him and his lawyer. Something's going on with the landlord. It sounds like the landlord has breeched the contract and he may have to relocate. Anyway, after he got off the phone and I put my order in he started talking to me about how stressed out he was. His grandmother died one week ago and they had to go out of state for the funeral. They came back home and 2 days later his uncle dropped dead. So besides all of the emotional stress, his mom who doubles as his office manager (AKA the person who pays the bills) has been out of the office for 2 weeks. And he doesn't know how to do Quick Books. So we chatted for a while and listened to stories about his friends losing loved ones as well. This just seems to be a hard time of the year for people.

When I got back to work around 3 p.m., I had 2 emails from addresses I didn't recognize. Come to find out they were from Marianne Silber and Kevin Sims at KOCO, Channel 5. I breifly caught the tail end of a story they were doing last night on a family who is expecting a baby and whose house burned to the ground last week. They lost everything. They went to stay with friends (one street over from me, coincidentally) and that house burned 2 days ago. Of all the luck. So I sent an email to the station saying if the family needed help with infant items they could contact me and we'd help with what we could. And then I got 2 emails from newscasters. That encouraged me. So many times we demonize the media, especially the local news because it seems like it's all sensationalistic propaganda to get ratings. But we at least have one news station in town who actually cares about the people they report on. And it's not the interns or the guy from the mailroom. It's the newscaster who reported the story. That gives me hope.

Well dears, it's up. And this may be the only link you get, I'm still debating. But I found some old ones I really like that I had forgotten about. Some of them are really bad, but some of them aren't. Writing on the Walls. Enjoy.

After the bad guy killed off all the underdeveloped characters...

the good guy put a bullet right through his head.

Man, I spent all night finishing the kitchen to Todd Snider. I don't know why I love him so much. It's unexplainable. But anyway, after looking at the paint this morning, it looks WAY better and I'm excited about actually getting furniture and appliances to finish the whole thing out.

I'm going to try to finish the poetry blog today. I'm kind of torn about that. Because like most of the rest of you people, I don't want people to think I'm weird or a freak because of something I wrote. But to hell with it. I wanna do it. It's basically just an archive for me. I'll probably add some new stuff to it periodically, but for some reason I don't write as much as I used to. It comes and goes. But it'll be good for me. And maybe somebody else, who knows.

Box office, baby. It's bigger than the Stones.

Just a small piece of advice from me to the guys...

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. Try it and tell me how it goes. If you ever wanna know what a girl really thinks or what she's feeling after any kind of meaningful encounter with you, hang out for a bit afterwards unseen. She'll probably talk to herself or at least make a comment out loud. And it will be 100% pure truth. Like say, if you've just had a rather tense conversation on the phone... don't hang up first. Let her push end before you... because if you listen long enough, you're bound to hear a remark that wasn't intended for your ears. We always say things when we think you're not listening. (They can be good things or bad things.)

So just a little suggestion for those of you who leave situations wondering what the hell just went on...

It's actually kind of funny. But I guarantee it will work.

The next time any of you consider painting something RED , please reconsider. It's not worth it. It sucks.

I FINALLY did another coat in the kitchen. And I think it's a lost cause. I may have to just hire someone to come in and make it look right. I've done primer and 2 coats of paint and you can STILL see every brush stroke.

Or I could just not give a crap and be happy the way it is and call it "artsy."

Well, at least I have handles on the cabinets now. Yeah, it's shaping up. Can't wait for Christmas money. :)

Can somebody PLEASE get me this for Christmas??

Running to get a new camera for work... maybe today will be take a picture of your desk day. We haven't had one of those in a while :) So... this is my life.

Crazy weather up in the 405. It was fine when I left the house this morning, then all of the sudden it's all thunder and pounding rain. And the poor Mazzios guy had to go back and get my salad. That's whatcha get for not gettin it right the first time. Dammit. After all, I am an American. Not only do I not want to be responsible for making my own lunch, I want someone else to cook it, and brave the torrents of rain to bring it to me and set it on my desk. Right in front of me. With plastic wear. Cuz I don't wanna get up and go into the kitchen and get a fork. Thanks. It was good.

Things seem so weird and outta hand right now. No lie. The ex called at 2 a.m. Saturday night, surprisingly sober, to say he ran into the girl who was Ms. Who's Who of every junior high boy's fantasy in my 9th grade class of 1994. She was a senior. She had poofy curly brown hair and wore TONS of mascara. I'm not lying. Looked like tiny little 8 legged spiders on her eyes. And her name was Sascha. As in sash-a. He said, "I didn't even recognize her. She's put on a good fifty pounds at least. And you can see every inch of it. And man, she wanted to hit it. Bad. And I think I'm gonna. Just to say I did." Yeah, there ya go. Way to grow up and move on with your life. Thank you for being the typical prototype of every small town Oklahoma boy I know. Gag.

And so that got me thinking. And this whole "model of marriage and intimate relationships" paper got me thinking too. Things have changed. When I was fifteen, the requirements for me to even give you a second glance were: 1) You had to be an athlete (football players were always my first pick) 2) You had to drive a truck (and NOT an S-10. I'm talking full blown pickup.) Chevy preferred, jacked up tires even better. 3) You could listen to nothing other than country (old school and new) and metal, and last but certainly not least, 4) My friends had to think you were cute.

And I did very well with that list for a while. I had 3 pretty serious long-termer's who fit the description perfectly. Unfortunately, all of them were jack asses and I could never figure out why. Ah, to be young and completely stupid again.

I'd like to think I've learned a thing or two. I don't care what you drive or what kind of music you like. I care about who you are and what you feel like your purpose is on this earth. And your cuteness will be in direct correlation to your uniqueness as an individual. This has become very apparent to me.

This makes me feel sorry for the girls who jumped the gun and married their high school boyfriends. No lie, I would be in a double wide on Lake Thunderbird cashing in the food stamps to feed my 6 kids cuz dad spent all the money on booze and his other girlfriend. Wow.

Another manic Monday. So, while I'm on hold with the city (trying to get the trashed picked up that they conveniently missed on Friday) I thought I'd blog.

I figured out this morning that if I leave the house at exactly 10 til 10, I'll catch Andrew on I-44 on the way to work. This city is too small.

Anyway, got lots to do today left over from the big meeting on Saturday. And I have a 3-5 page paper due (along with a presentation) tonight at 6 p.m. over my "personal model of marriage." Hahahhaha. Right. You don't reallllly wanna know what I think. I figured the letters C-R-A-P in a thousand point font and bolded wouldn't get me an A. So I'll put my fantasy helmet on and go with it.

I'm not cynical. I promise.

I had carolers tonight. That was so much fun. Nobody's come to the door to sing Christmas carols since I was in elementary school. And even then, they just did it because my dad was their preacher. That felt really good. They were the same people who left a package of lightbulbs on my porch right after I moved in, just because they figured everybody could use lightbulbs.

Most of you know my opinion of "church people" isn't very high. But this group of people in particular is growing on me. They seem to give just out of the goodness of their heart to people they don't even know. I don't know many people like that, especially in church. And it's good to know they're out there.

Things are changing. I can feel it still. I'm right in the middle of that growing up and figuring things out process. It seems like every day another lightbulb comes on. And I feel just a little bit more wise. I like this.

Buttercup and Silver

I only got to ride them once before we moved to Suburbia when I was 4. A perfectly good birthday present down the drain. I've always been just a little bit spoiled.

You know what I want for Christmas? You could get me nothing else but this and I would still jump up and down and hug you and kiss you all over.

One of those rubber grippy things that opens bottle caps that are on too tight.

So maybe I'm not that spoiled. I still appreciate the small things.

Like the gift set of Crown and glasses I got for the same price as a bottle. And the cute girl who sold it to me at the liquor store. I hear she plays rugby. She could probably kick my ass.

I've only thrown one punch in my life. And it was at DeDe Villa my senior year in high school at basketball practice. She fell down. And then I felt bad. But I warned her. It was just a matter of principle.

Like finally hooking up with Homecoming Queen '94 even though she's put on at least a good 50 pounds. She's drunk and begging for it. Yeah, I bet she is. Now you can go back to high school football games and brag to all your friends how she puts out. You'll be a hero. They'll say, "Who's the man?" And you'll say...

Me, Mike. Goddammit. Me.

Well kids, it's another Saturday morning gone. Got up at the butt crack, AKA 8 a.m., for my big year-end board meeting... and it went fabulously.

Another wonderful performance by yours truly. Heck, I even got invited to dinner to discuss budget projections. I must be doing something right.

But now I just want a nap. Sleepy sleepy. Nobody should ever have to get up at 8 on a Saturday morning. Todd Snider won't come out of the CD player. I swear, he is the only person on earth who can pull off wistful whistling in a song about suicide. The man is a genius.

I let Ragan talk me into the new Todd Snider.

Ahhh. Life is good again.

I spent $100 (not including tip) today on my hair.

I could have bought a pub set for the kitchen.

I could have hired somebody to finish my red paint.

I could have bought a rug for the office.

I could have adopted 4 puppies.

But I look fabulous instead. And it doesn't get much better than someone playing with my hair for 2 hours.

So tonight Dad's coming over after he plays at the Oklahoma Opry to help me hang some decorative curtain rods in my bedroom... so I can hang my long, luscious deep red curtains on them. (And Ragan, you'll be happy to know there are no flowers.) My bedroom will heretofore be known as "The Lair." Albeit a lair for one. And a cat.

Yay Friday.

Boys are such good story tellers.

...so now you know what girls talk about...

PinkCHigh: well, dating is fun and marriage is all, "let's go home and fix the kitchen sink honey", and nauseatingly "nick and jessica's family christmas special".
PinkCHigh: I say DATE.
DayZ1515: GROSS
DayZ1515: me too................
DayZ1515: maybe he scares very easily
PinkCHigh: omigosh
PinkCHigh: he's like a little dog that tinkles when you get close enough to pick him up
PinkCHigh: everything malfunctions
DayZ1515: HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAA

Take me back to Tulsa...

Leaving the house at 9:30 a.m. and getting home at 2 a.m. Not bad. All in a days work... apparently. Stoney is one of those guys... those shows... I mean, Boland, Bleu, Tx Jack... I go to party... but Stoney, I don't care if I was the only one in the place. I'd still go. It's just that something. And I thought I was ready to go after he finally played "Downtown." But Kevin said, "You gotta stay for this one." And you can't leave during Mr. Cash's "Long Black Veil." That's sacrilegious or something.

And while I'm on the subject and thinking about it... next time someone on stage says "Bob Wills," don't stand around and look confused. Me, 2 years old, standing in the living room in a diaper, a smile, and his cowboy boots... it's probably either in a closet or in my mom's attic somewhere. These are legends people... and they were family. I was born and bred on them. And they did take him back to Tulsa. I was 8 years old and it was standing room only.

I like Cody. Jason's cool. And I dig Bleu and my boys from Vernon. But where do you think all this came from? They'll tell ya.

Peace.

Busy busy busy Thursday.

Made deposit
Paid bills
Answered a zillion questions from a volunteer
Ate lunch

Did pregnancy test for another volunteer... it just so happened it was positive... and I experimented on her with the ultrasound machine. She's only 5 1/2 weeks so all we could see was a little white peanut shaped blip on the screen but it was so much fun! Yay babies!

Must write paper due at 6 p.m. tonight
Must put up the Christmas tree and get gifts organized for clients
Must help get the financials ready for the board meeting bright and early 9 a.m. Saturday.
Must go to school.

MUST go see Stoney.

That's my day people. It's wearing me out.

I was trying to get a poetry blog up tonight. I ended up with a tension migraine as a result of screaming obscenities at blogger. It's really proving to be very frustrating and unreliable. I thought about switching to eBloggy, but they don't have an archiving service. And I am TOO tired to figure out the HTML. So I wrote on the wall instead. And I know you're just aching with curiosity.

I'm getting an idea... hatching a plan.

Putting another book together.

I had my first collection of poetry printed and bound when I was twenty. Fifty pages of teenage angst with only minor interruptions.

I want to wait a couple of years and keep compiling more writing and have a volume that accurately represents my twenties. It will be interesting to compare the two and see what's changed... and what hasn't changed. I've got to figure out a way to anthologize these things in one place besides poetry.com. The line restrictions inhibit my creativity. And I've got some loose leaf pages randomly floating around in drawers and cabinets at home. Then I've got my Musings and Ruminations. I've got to figure out how to get them all in one place and keep them there.

It's always a struggle even to send some pieces to the printer... just knowing someone else will be reading them. (Those are on paper mostly, you'd never find them on the www for the same reason.)

I need to write more. But currently I'm drawing on my walls. That's more fun at the moment. Maybe I'll take pictures. Yes! That's it! I'll take pictures and put them in my book! Ah, it's all coming together now.

Hahhaha. This could probably be useful to most of us.

It sure would save alot of apologies the day after...

We're all stars now... in the drunk show.

Yeah. So, maybe it was the combination of the felt cowboy hat, bright orange and yellow tie-dye shirt, and the Doc Martins that pushed him over the edge and drove him to insanity. Or maybe it was that massive bottle of Jager that was getting passed around the stage. Or maybe his own lyrics were just so damn tricky that they weren't humanly possible to perform. Yes, it was truly a Jason Boland night. The authentic experience.

So, needless to say, Stoney finished the show for him, which was fine with me. He happens to be my current one and only favorite. And maybe I'm biased and say what you want, but he's the only one out of the whole bunch who can sing. You gotta give him that. Boy can get. down. And you can bet I'll be front and center Thursday night to see him. There are very few musicians I just connect with (on a musical level), and he's one of them.

Anyway, tonight was a good night and my Disney Princess play set including a purse, a tiara, lipstick and feather boa went to a good cause. Do something nice for someone this holiday season, ok? Sometimes I think we forget how good we have it. I'm thankful. I hope you are too.

And it was fabulous to see everybody out tonight... Pinky was the only one missing. We must make time to catch up. Have a fabulous Wednesday dears.