it's funny the things we go through in life. we're like butterflies and it's so easy for us to get caught up in the moment and swept away...

sometimes the thing that hurts the most is when you think someone knows you... when you think you know them, then on a whim it all changes. he said, she said, i heard, and what about.

man, my whole life, because of the way I grew up, I stayed out of other people's business and did my best to utterly ruin anybody who got in mine. so i understand the defense mechanism. once i let loose the entire dairy section of a local grocery store on a girl's house just for thinkin she knew something about me. it was expensive. it was a mess. but i felt better. even if the cops did get called.

so i value my privacy, who doesn't? and i thought that was something most of my friends knew about me. when it comes to certain things in other people's lives that you just shouldn't touch, even if most people would, just to "do the right thing," i'm out. i don't always do the right thing, so who am i to be the morality police. i just want everyone to make decisions in their lives that will make them healthier and happier. And if you can't take that road, i hope you at least take something positive away from your experience. but either way, it's all you.

i've always wanted my friends to trust me. and most of them have. and i've been able to trust some of them back.

and some of them i haven't. and that makes me sad.

Austin recap coming Monday. Right now I'm going to go back to bed and finish detoxing.

Craziness!

hey remember when this used to be ashlybrooke.com? and girls used to come up to me in the bar and go omg are you ashlybrooke? and dudes used to make lunch dates with me and then tell their wives they slept with me just to make them jealous? and i used to tell you every single time i got horny? and i got called a slut for it? member when i used to write about what girls liked and how guys should do it? and i told you about the worst sex i ever had?

man, i was so way oversexed.

where'd she go?

I'm kind of dazed today. I stayed up half the night worried to death about mimi. I called the hospital today and talked to Poppa. He said she's much better and going home tomorrow. She wasn't able to come to the phone because she was out "walking around the hospital." So I guess that's a good sign.

I have the best boyfriend. He bought me flowers for our anniversary last weekend. Pretty pretty roses. And last night when I was laying in bed crying, he just laid there and held me until I was better. He loves me. :)

Well, the weekend went off without any major hitches. I am in love with Chris Knight now. Good good stuff. I'm always in for singer songwriters who hit ya right where it hurts. He's not bad to look at either. Mr. Snider showed up one minute before showtime in his hat, vest, jeans, and bare feet. True to form it was an awesome show. It seemed like he only played for 15 minutes. But it's good to know the stories behind some of his new songs. Like Highland Street Incident... who knew he got robbed? Who TF robs barefooted Todd? Anyway, at least he got a good song out of it.

We hit the hotel about 11:00 and i'll say this, it's not as swanky as I thought. It's a bit overpriced *but* it was the most comfortable bed I've ever slept in in my whole entire life. I slept til 10:30 the next morning. So it was worth it. Then it was off to Vernon to see the fam and play the show. The fam was good, as always. And it was good to see Shelby since I hadn't seen her in like a month or so. (It used to be damn near every weekend). The show was fun. Lots of drunk people. But by the end of the night, the band wives let the jager get the better of them and started getting everybody all riled up. Yep, that's what we do. It got a little intense, so Shelby drug me up to the stage where we partied til it was time to go home.

P and I stayed up for at least another hour after we got home looking at old (1969) yearbooks and baby books. You wonder why P's such the life of the party? Well he comes from a LONG line of "most popular, Ms. EVERYTHING" people. So it's in his blood. He can't help it.

Sunday we drove home, dealt with the mimi incident and promptly passed out.

I'm FIGHTING **FIGHTING** REALLY FIGHTING the urge to jump on the party bus coming through town Friday night on the way to Austin. I'm going to the Nickelback show on Saturday... but Austin is sounding verrrry tempting. P has already said he's not leaving the house so I'm free to roam... we shall see.

OMG. THIS is fabulous.

Yay yay yay! I get to see my first Todd Snider show tonight! Woo HOO! And then I get to spend my 365th night with my boyfriend in a freakin great hotel!!

Woo HOO! Today is a good day. Yes, yes it is.

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We're leading a revolt... called GIVE STOKES THE MIC! No offense really. Its just that I see Rider backstage doing curls and sayin Dude is this shirt tight enough around my guns?

As I speak my BFF and her husband are in their little black car driving down I-35 on their way to see me. Yay! We're going some place fabulous for dinner, then we'll be heading to Firewater to catch the Lost Trailers show (which is a free show, btw. Yee haw!). Then they're heading to Austin tomorrow to enjoy the rest of their long weekend.

I'm super super super excited about the fact that tomorrow marks the milestone of me being completely and totally monogamous for exactly 365 days. And it was like the easiest thing I've ever done. Who knew? :) I was a whore-- yes, I know. I've been told. More than once. But thank goodness, I was rescued from my swinging single girlhood and wrangled into submission by the hottest bad assest guitar player I know. If you didn't know, I'm in love. And I think that's why Dave Ray won't talk to me. He's mad at me. I sold out, I can't help it.

Anyway, tomorrow night I'll rush home from work to change clothes, then we're going to an acoustic show with Chris Knight and Todd Snider. Afterward we'll be letting the valet take the car and heading up to our room at the hotel formerly known as the Hillcrest Hotel. I'm sure we'll pass out from exhaustion and go straight to sleep fully clothed.

Then Saturday we head back to V-Town for a fabulous reunion with the hometown friends and fam. I'm hoping all my girls will be present to get drunk and dance at the front of the stage with me. I know at least Shelby will be there to kiss me and line dance with me and tell me how much she loves me. Good times will ensue.

So it's a fun weekend coming up. Gonna have my party hat on and my kazoo in my hand. Fiesta!

Hidee Ho Neighber Joe, how goes it?

Well, I have a quick break in my day, so I thought I'd stop by and say howdidoo. Man, it's been a busy day. But I love busy days. Makes the day go by faster. I've got my Pandora going on my "the girls" station. You know, Sarah McLachlan, Tori Amos, Fiona Apple and the like. You can't beat it.

The big guy just sent me a text that said two guys working on the job site next door got killed today. Turns out a huge piece of concrete fell on a delivery truck. Smoosh. I don't like the company he works for. From what he tells me, most of the guys have no teeth and numerous felonies. And now they're dropping big pieces of concrete on each other. (Or at least the guys next door are.) I just don't have a good feeling about it. It's decent money but is it worth it? He says it's like that everywhere, but I don't know. I just got him and I'd like to keep him around for a while.

I can't believe it's only Monday. It seems like a Wednesday or something. Weird. So we've all be contemplating the big questions yesterday. I'm contemplating one... I might be on the verge of alcoholism. I'm not having withdrawals, but I'm having cravings...

It's been nine days... that's bad, huh.

I had the most wonderful dream this morning between 6 and 7:10 a.m. I can't give you the details but I'll tell you I woke up a happy camper. :) Big smiles.

I found it quite coincidental in a very sarcastic way that CNN did a story on how hot it's been in OKC in recent days, most notably last weekend. Of course they did. I was outside on a baseball field in the one million degree heat all day Saturday. Thank you CNN.com for reaffirming my dumbassedness.

And also, how is it that since I've moved to a place where everyone says you have to adjust your budget for the "higher cost of living," gas is at LEAST ten cents cheaper than it is in OKC where it's supposedly supposed to be so cheap to live. I love Texas. We're still at 2.83, peeps.

Gonna run by the store on the way home and pick up some meaty goodness to fix for supper. I'm thinking pork chops. That's something I like that I don't eat enough of. Too much cluck, not enough oink.

If you know anybody who's moving/wants to move my direction and is inclined to work in the social services, I have a job for them, so send them my way.

Peace out.

I heart chicken and mozzarella lean pockets. I just had one for a snack and burned my tongue. I thought I better find something to put in my tummy since we won't be eating tonight til 8 or so.

For those of you not prone to checking the myspace, I found out this morning that OCU is hosting an alumni reception tonight at the Hotel Za Za in Dallas. So I'm making P break out his slacks and dress shoes for this one.

He's so funny when it comes to clothes. He won't wear ANYTHING but jeans and tshirts and if he has to, he'll put up a fight. Apparently something happened sometime and he got told he looked retarded in shorts. How, exactly, does one F up wearing shorts? I mean maybe if your legs are like morbidly obese and you feel the need to wear XXXXL Daisy Dukes, but come on, for guys? So he hasn't worn shorts in years, even in 100 degree weather, until this summer. Finally after hours of me begging, he cut off his camo pants. And they're pretty cute. He even got so adventurous as to go BUY a pair from Old Navy a couple days ago. I told him to wear them to the music fest Saturday and he looked at me like I was crazy.

That's fine. You suffer in the 105 degree heat. I'll be on the blanket with my frosty beverage in my SHORTS. Anyway, I'm way off track here.

I'm excited to be getting to actually do something downtown tonight. Then I think me, P, and Melisa are gonna hang for a bit afterward. Should be good times. Then tomorrow's the big day! P turns the ripe old age of thirty-seven!

Damn, it feels good to be young! Love you honey! :)

I'm getting ready to settle into a long afternoon of research. So I thought I'd say hi before I did.

I was reading something on the computer before lunch and all the words started to rotate counterclockwise and it was taking me a very long time to focus my eyes. Is there such a thing as spontaneous drunkenness? I think I have it. It took it about three minutes to go away. Woo HOO! Power-party in the middle of the day!

I had the MOST horrible dream last night. It involved two of my exes, probably my most significant past relationships. And I cheated on P. Then the other exes mom kept calling his phone and telling him I cheated on him and she had pictures because she was hiding in the bushes and she wouldn't stop calling. It was HORRIBLE. I confessed everything because I hated myself for doing it already. But I woke up before I found out what happened.

I just woke up feeling like crap and the first thought that crossed my mind was Let's not do THAT again. Look at me, I feel bad for even dreaming about cheating. That's a good sign, I think.

Anyway, it's back to Oklahoma this weekend. We're rolling into town Friday p.m. and staying at Chateau le Miller, then Saturday it's the all day bakefest at Okeene, which I'm particularly excited about! See, I didn't know it, but last year at Okeene P was especially smitten with me but too nervous to talk to me. I thought I was just making him feel uncomfortable out there on that field all alone without his three backup singers. Turns out he was scared shitless. :) So this year will be a fabulous marker of what was, what is, and what will be. And we'll be drunk and serenaded by some of the coolest dudes I know... and I hear a few unexpected guests as well. It's gonna rock.

Bring sunscreen. And lots of water. And crown.