love

If you take a right onto a little side road off Pickard Street in Norman, Oklahoma and look to your left, you will see a little house with a big bay window on the west end. You'll notice the bay window has no covering and if you look closer you will see a whole houseful of people gathered around a dining room table eating and laughing and talking and generally just having a good time. These people are the Kueny's. I have known this family for exactly ten years. I went to school with their children, Rachel, Steven, and Daniel, and Mrs. Kueny (Denise) was an English teacher at my high school. Mr. Kueny (Bob) was a permanent fixture on the sidelines of every imaginable football and basketball game.

Three years ago, my best friend Jackie Fournier, became Jackie Kueny thanks to Steven. Since that time, I have spent many a holiday and birthday with the Kueny's, seeing as Jackie and Steven live in Broken Arrow now and I rarely get to see them unless they come to Norman to visit Steven's parents. These are the most amazing people in the world. It doesn't matter what's going on in their lives or what someone else may be going through, a visitor in the Kueny household will always be greeted with a handful of smiles and hugs and "How are you, honey?" 's.

Bridgette and Joey are the youngest of the Kueny clan and out of five children, are the only ones left at home. Steven and Jackie are in Broken Arrow, Daniel just moved back from London and lives with friends, and Rachel and her son, Eli, live just a bit down the street from mom and dad. Of all the scores of times I've been at the Kueny house, somehow I've always managed to miss Grandma Gloria. But I finally made her acquaintance this evening. Everyone was shocked to hear I'd never met her before. We must have just missed each other several times. Jackie tried to drop me the subtle hint that Grandma Gloria may be just a bit cuckoo for cocoa puffs, but I tried to ignore her. Well, that was until I started helping with the dinner salads. As you all know, I've been a bit sick lately. So as we were standing in the kitchen, I reluctantly agreed to help with the salad and said, "I just don't want to contaminate anyone's food." Grandma Gloria chimed in with, "Well, honey as long as you don't have syphilis I think we'll be ok." Total silence. Then everyone in the kitchen about fell in the floor laughing. Denise who was already almost in tears said, "Yeah, ghonorrea too. We sure don't want that!" And it went on and on and on. So this was my first experience with Grandma Gloria.

After dinner we played a very good game of Balderdash. Apparently, I'm pretty good at it. I think it's because I've read alot of books, therefore I can BS fairly well. During the game, I took a moment to look around the table. I looked around at Denise, Daniel, Rachel, Eli, Steven and Jackie, Bridgette, and Joey (poor Bob who is usually the life of the party was laid up in the bedroom with a violent stomach virus), and thought, "This is what a family is supposed to be like. This is what love is." I thought back through the years at all the things the Kueny's have endured: rumors of affairs, small town gossip, unplanned and conspicuous pregnancies, children getting kicked out of school for drugs (hehe, that's for you steve-o), and a host of other difficult things families have to go through. Yet they all still sit around together and laugh their asses off and seem to genuinely enjoy each others company. Never in my life have I been around such a family.

This is what I want. When I grow up and get married, this is how I want my family to be. Just like the Kueny's. I left their home tonight hearing these words, "Ash, if you're ever on this end of town and need a place to stay or are just hungry or something, please stop by!" And I thought, there are not many places you can go that really feel like home. And this does.

Saturday is here and I'm feeling a bit better, but still trying to recover. I'm sure last night at the Tumbleweed was the biggest party ever and I'm sad I missed it. But I'm sure there will be many more wild parties to come :) My best chica Jackie is in town today for her mother-in-law's birthday. So we're going out to dinner tonight. Then I think I'll turn in for the night and try to kick this thing for good.

After this weekend, next week promises to be awesome :)

If I get out of bed today, it will only be to get more medicine or stock up on soup and orange juice.

Hope everybody else has a fabulous weekend!

And THIS is why I want to have Tony Pierce's babies.

Doctor doctor gimme the news, I gotta bad case of the too much drinky drinky blues!

Hello medicine head. Well, I can breathe but my throat's on fire. I think I've shot my immune system to hell. I have been such a bad girl. And I'm a junior alcoholic in the making. Getting smashed four times a week can't be good for your body. OOOh. but sometimes it IS. :) haha. Then I have days like today when I just wanna crawl in bed and have somebody baby me for the next twenty-four hours. I used to have a boyfriend who was great with me when I was sick. He'd go to Walgreens in the wee hours of the morning to get me medicine if I needed it. I loved him for that. But then of course I found out he apparently shared his bedside manner with other girls besides me. So that kinda cancelled out all the points he got for babying me while I was sick.

Anyway, Ragan says I need to drink whiskey and soda. I don't know. I think he just wants me to get drunk. But he says he and Kevin swear by it. But then again, you gotta take into account their addictive substance intake :) haha. I love you boys.

Anyway, I'm not feeling well so I guess this means I'll miss the Tucker Road show tomorrow night. NOOOOOOOOO!!!! Is there no God up in Heaven?? Why am I doomed to live this life of misery and toil??!!

Oh wait. I was thinking about my cat, Tucker. Not the band. Screw the band. Go to Stillwater tomorrow night if you can to see Boland.

Anywho, I'm out. Peace out homie g's.

HEY!
Do you ever have one of those days where you just wanna fight? I have all this nervous energy spinning around inside just begging to get out and I can feel it... I wanna fight. Who has a good idea on how to release this engergy in a more positive and productive way?

let's all take a deep breath

There seems to be some tension circling through cyberspace.

I don't care what your feelings are on Mr. Boland, his existence does not make or break friendships, capiche?

I have a solution to our problem. Let's all only go to Texas Jack and Badwater shows from now on. You're pretty much guaranteed entry and the baddest assest rock n roll you've ever heard in your life. Par-tay. Everybody's drunk and happy.

Problem solved.

some of my faves
Give credit where credit is due. Check all the pics from last night out at Ragan's site.

Aren't these two cute??

seriously

I can rock with the best of them. The closer to the speakers, the better. No doubt. But apparently I can't handle rockin out and girls literally screaming into my ear all night. I think I mighta blew an eardrum last night. Still trying to decide if I should go to the doctor. Eight hours later my left ear still feels like it's underwater and won't stop ringing.

Geez.

a very very brief recap

1) my left ear is ringing so loud I can't hear myself think. if my hearing doesn't come back I'm suing boland. Or the girl who was yelling in my ear all night.

2) Kevmo, hope your b-day rocked ass.

3) Robert, sorry... again.

4) i love going places where I even make friends in the bathroom :)

Health and Safety Issues

People, listen up. They make condoms for a reason.

I don't wanna hear the excuses... They don't feel the same. It's too inconvenient. It breaks the mood. Blah blah blah. I promise you, all of those things are waaay better than a scary trip to the doctor's office or something you may have to deal with for the rest of your life. Am I right? Yeah, I thought so. Girls, take the initiative. No, it doesn't make you a slut. It makes you responsible and intelligent. Boys, do the same... especially since you guys don't have yearly doctor's visits that could tell you if something was amiss in that region without your knowledge.

I've seen way too many tears from people because of stuff like this. Just take the time and be responsible, Ok.

Nuff said.

This chick is a dirty bitch but I love her. I am totally fascinated.

If anybody at work's checkin your history on a regular basis, don't visit her site. Wait til you get home!

Rock n Roll

So tonight's the big shindig at the Red Dirt Cafe in Norman. What a freakin party that's gonna be. I wanna be a good girl, but I can't make any promises. Gonna be some awesome music. Boland is awesome blah blah blah. We all know that. What we don't all know is that Texas Jack rocks Ashly's world. And if you're reading this and you have any influence with those boys, please tell them they need to get Texas Jack panties because I want some.

So, to skip class and start drinking or not to skip class and start drinking. That is the question. I have a feeling I already know the answer to this one. Dammit. Alcohol wins every time.

Happy birthday to you... happy birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear Kevmo! Happy birthday to you!!!

Sweet ass.

I just heard Peter Jennings say:
"And finally tonight, Sex and the City: Will Carrie be happy with Big?"

Rock n Fuckin Roll.

Today has been a good day, despite the dismal, yet comfortable weather. It makes me wanna snuggle. Hmmmm. Food for thought.

Anyway, had a Dr's appt today and got some great news... And I love my doctor. I would recommend her to any girl in the OKC area. She has a great way of putting you at ease while you are in one of the most uncomfortable positions of your life :)

Work was way slow today. That's good because I'm tired. I was up from 4-6 a.m. this morning. Don't know why, I just couldn't sleep and Tucker wasn't feeling good so I stayed up and babied him a little.

Anyway, got fun class tonight, Psychotherapy and Counseling, talking about the crazies... you never get bored with that. Anyway, tomorrow night is gonna be one hell of a party. I can't wait. It'll be interesting to be back at my old stomping grounds in Norman. Oh the memories. I will definitely need to get drunk :)

The skinny on the fashion low down and the 411

The precarious adventure that was the wormy dog on Saturday night provided me with much insight that is just begging to be shared. So far we have learned how NOT to be a bitch at a bar, now let's take a look at what NOT to wear, especially as it concerns the guys and, in particular, guys on stage.

Rule #1: Never EVER wear a sweater/cowboy hat combo. I don't care how left out you feel because all of your compadres are sporting cowboy attire. Please resist the temptation to combine your preppiness with the "I've been out on the range all day" look.

Rule #2: Cowboy hats work well with and ONLY with:

A pearl snap shirt (be careful, this one's tricky. It's gotta look semi-retro or you'll end up looking like Garth circa 1991)

An old worn out, beat up, faded t-shirt with jeans that have holes in them (my personal favorite)

A nice button up shirt that has been pressed and starched

Wranglers and only Wranglers (boys, please be careful with this one. Too tight is just NOT sexy, and if you don't feel like you look good in them, take the hint and don't wear them. Wranglers are not for everybody.)

Boots: and not the pointy-toe, steel-covered-toe kind. Yuck. Ropers work best.

Rule #3: This rule goes for men and women alike. Animal prints are OUT-- especially when they cover a significant portion of your body. A smart, little animal print bag I can deal with, even though I don't prefer it. However, an oversized zebra print, or otherwise animal printed shirt, is not sexy now, nor will it ever be. If you are prone to wearing animal prints, especially with cowboy hats, please make a selection from Rule #2. We'll all be grateful.

Rule #4: At most of the places I go for social reasons, you can never go wrong with not overdoing it. If you wanna wear a t-shirt and jeans, go for it. Don't look sloppy, but look cool. That's an easy look to pull off. (See Kevmo for examples.)

Rule #5: If you opt for a slightly more classic look, you can almost never go wrong with flat front Khakis-- provided you have followed all the rules up to this point. For example, flat front Khakis will not work with animal prints. Just don't do it. DO do them with a cool cotton shirt, or even, God forbid I even say it, a sweater. But not the cable-knit Bill Cosby kind. (See Ragan for examples.) HAHA.

Most importantly fellas, watch a couple of episodes of Queer Eye and you'll figure it out soon enough. Don't mix looks: go casual, classic, preppy, cowboy, punk, whatever. But don't try more than one of these at once. You'll end up confusing yourself and everybody else. Not to mention you'll probably look like a freak. So just pick one that works for you, get some feedback from someone who has good taste and have fun.

Ashly's Guide on How Not To:

Be the Bitch at the Bar.

1) If you enter a bar alone, take a seat and be willing to enter into a conversation with someone around you. You don't necessarily have to start the conversation, but at least be polite when someone else speaks.

2) If you should engage in friendly banter with another girl at the bar, after several minutes of good conversation, never, never say, "So who are you. I mean, are you somebody?" essentially asking her if she knows more people at the bar than you. Chances are she does and you have just come across extremely rude, ensuring that you will not get introduced to any of said people.

3) Upon entering the bar, assess your surroundings. If you are 7-10 years older than every other female there, accept your limitations as a bar fly and consider a different bar choice next time.

4) When your guy friends show up and surround the beautiful and intelligent girl you've just met, don't get jealous, just join in. No body likes a whiney hiney.

5) This applies not only when going out to social functions, but in every day life also: If your make up is more than half an inch thick, you've probably got way more to cover up than can be helped by any form of make up on the market.

Consider yourself educated.

Tonight from 7-9 p.m. will be spent curled up in my oversized chair in the living room with a box of kleenex saying goodbye to the love, lust, sarcasm, questionings, heart-breakings, awakenings, hell raising, and all the fabulous sex that has been a part of my life for 94 Sunday nights.

Big is back; it gives me hope and I feel like I can move on.

Goodbye girls-- my life is better because you were a part of it.

Bring on the Six Feet Under.

Just to recap

1). I feel like the Jack is coming back to kick my ass. I may be sick. Let's all pray that doesn't happen. Ok.

2). A whole hell of alot of fast food places are open if you leave the bar before last call. Who knew?

3). Twelve Pearls kicks ass. Glad to finally hear them.

4). If you're a middle aged wanna be cowboy, I will listen to all of your emotional problems and the reasons for your two failed marriages if you buy me alcohol.

5). "Yeah, we'll be there in about an hour." Uh, or 3. By this time the drunk cowboy has already emotionally attached himself to me. I go along with it because Jeff and Cody insist on keeping me stocked with Jack and coke.

6). Congratulations to the new future Mr. & Mrs. Gus Michaelson. Rock n Roll.

7). I have been an official Kevmo fan for quite some time now, but after tonight, I am a Kevmo Lifer. That boy has the biggest heart of anybody I've ever known and I love him.

8). Tuesday at the Red Dirt Cafe is going to be one massive party. I will not flirt with wormy dog bartenders. I will not flirt with wormy dog bartenders. Well, maybe.

9). Cops never pull anybody over on 23rd street. They're in too much of a damn hurry to get home.

10). My cat kicks total ass.

big backseat

So I talked to Whitney late this afternoon to make sure she was coming out tonight. She was on her way home to clean out her car, then take it to the carwash. I said, "Whit, you have inspired me." I've been meaning to clean out my car for the past few weeks. Apparently we've both been actually living out of our cars and moving things from front to back seat and back to the front seat again for about three months now.

One night Ragan looked in my back seat and said, "Hey, watch out for your books!" So I actually emptied the back seat today. The official count is : 19 books and notebooks, a package of fabulous Christmas cards for next year, a picture frame that was a Christmas gift, a plethora of random pieces of paper, one pair of jeans, one pair of wind pants, a purse and a portable CD player.

And now, it's all moved from my back seat, to my love seat in the living room. I'm outgrowing this tiny little garage apartment so fast my head's spinning. I'm gonna have to move in May after graduation. I can't handle it anymore. Too much clutter.

Anyway, tonight promises to be interesting as the wormy dog will be rocking out with Texas (or as I like to say it, Tay-has) Jack and No Justice. Pure unadulterated, blow your mind Rock and Roll of Texas Jack combined with the hotties that are No Justice.

Rock n Roll.

John Berryman, Dream Song #384

He sat next to me all night
Saying how difficult Berryman was to read
For him
"It's like he just exposes himself.
It's too personal
And I don't really understand it.
I don't like confessional poets.
They never come to any resolution.
I need at least a little shred of hope to hang on to."
He didn't have a shred of hope
How's he going to give you one
He threw himself off a cold Minnesota bridge
Somebody read out loud
Dream song #384
The room was silent
Out of the corner of my eye
I noticed his knee bouncing up and down
A thousand miles an hour
A nervous twitch
You'd think all those years
In prep school
And grueling Ivy League scrutiny
Would have taught him
How to mask his feelings more effectively
Slowly and in a low voice
He managed to push out
"It- it just- reminds me of my father."

Ok. So I just kicked that job fair in the ass. My fashion strategy worked perfectly. I knew it would.

I arrived ten minutes early. Apparently the Integris recruiters had yet to arrive. There was a group of four of us standing around the schedule board to see what other companies would be participating today. The organizer of the fair walks right up to me in the middle of all these people and says, "You must be the new HR person from Integris." I said, "I wish. I'm a student," and I introduced myself. We got a good laugh out of it and she said, "You look great! They need to hire you."

Anyway, I ended up being the only person in the crowd apparently who wasn't pursing an MBA or IT degree. I felt like a shining, creative star amidst a sea of dull, boring, aimlessly floating, business-minded clouds.

Apparently they were impressed. Integris has a children's mental health facility and shortly, I will be meeting with its director.

Go me.

It's the pink. Pink works every time.

very good day

So today is the antithesis to yesterday. Thank God. I woke up feeling good this morning. Maybe it's because I took the day off and it's freaking almost 70 degrees outside. I have a sudden urge for a pedicure and cute flip flops. NO Ashly. It's still February. Girls, if you're reading this, please resist the urge to break out the summer sandals until after memorial day. I know it's hard fighting the temptation to show off your perfectly coiffed and cutie patootie toes, but please wait til at least late May. I promise it will be worth it.

So I have to get professionally dressed for this job thing this afternoon. Wow. It's been a while. I usually just wear jeans to work cause nobody cares. But I still look fabulous of course. Anyway, I know they tell you to wear only subtle tones to work related things, like blacks, browns and neutral tones, but F that. I don't wanna work at a place where they expect me to be all bland and boring. That job is not for me. If I wear pink, I want them to appreciate the fact that I'm bright and colorful and have all kinds of wonderful ideas to improve their programs! I refuse to be the girl in the ugly blue suit with easy spirit pumps who is constantly going around seeing if people need more coffee. Oh my God. And you know what, if a business even employs such a person, that place is probably not for me. I worked in a cubicle for eight hours a day before. Yeah, it was good money. Yeah, it looks good on a resume, but it freakin sucks the life right outta ya. I need a creative outlet. I need to be helping people. I need to be making my little piece of the world a better place. So that's what I'm in search of. We'll see.

Also, sounds like I may have fun plans tonight. But I also have class. Can't forget about that. Sometimes in my mind I skip right over school and go straight to the partying. This is not a good sign.

Just one of those days...

Do you ever just wake up feeling yucky? Well, that was me this morning. It took me a good two hours to get out the door this morning just because I had a total lack of motivation to do anything. Not even my makeup. Now that's serious.

I felt sick all day and came home a bit early. I crashed for a while then went to run because I thought it would make me feel better. And because someone who sees my ass on a regular basis called and said, "Are you going to run tonight?" So I took that as a hint and hit the road. But now my legs hurt and I'm even more tired than before.

So now, the plan is to take a nice very hot and relaxing bath, get in bed, do some reading for class tomorrow and hit the hay. I have to get my beauty rest because tomorrow afternoon I'm meeting with an HR person from Integris about a new job. So we'll see how that goes.

Anyway, I hope everyone elses day was waaaay better than mine. And on the bright side, it's going to be a warm sunny day tomorrow! Yay!

Punani Dani
The cute one in the middle, the one that sorta kinda resembles Gidget drinking a beer on the beach, that's my little sister :) I think they were at South Padre. Anyway, just thought I'd introduce you guys...

Rock on. I need to go to the beach. I need to make another LA trip very very soon. Who's in?

2 a.m.

Tonight, it was to the Stillwater WD Concert Hall. Got to see Eli & Young... just a thought... is Eli the pretty boy with the layered hair cut? He's a cutie, but any boy who has to spend more time on his hair than me has got to go.

Anyway, I caught the first of Roger Clyne but had to sneak out a bit early. No wise cracks. Anyway, it was good to see Matt for the first time in a while. And I got to meet Kristen, Gus Michael's g.f., who grew up right down the street from me, coincidentally enough.

So I came home and settled in with my macaroni and Vagina Monologues on HBO. Let me just say this. Girls, if you haven't seen it, find out where it's playing and go. It'll change your life. Boys, it'll change the way you look at women. It's the most amazing thing I've ever seen. I was going to audition this year for the OKC performance that has annually been on Valentine's Day weekend, but after the fuss that was made last year (presumably because we're in the Bible belt) I don't think OKC hosted a performance of Eve Ensler's Vagina Monologues. Cryin shame.

Here's a funny excerpt if you haven't seen a show... there's a monologue by a woman that's called "Reclaiming Cunt," changing the term from a derogatory one, to an empowering one. The monologue ends up with the audience standing up and screaming "Cunt! Cunt! Cunt!" It's hilarious and amazing all at the same time.

The next to the last monologue is the greatest. It's a woman demonstrating what each orgasm for each kind of woman sounds like: nice girls, bad girls, jewish girls, black girls, red heads, and every other species of girl imaginable.

And before you dismiss the Monologues as a gratuitous display of female sexuality, all proceeds from ticket sales go to non profits that support non-violence against women around the world. A worthy cause, I'd say.

knock knock knockin on heaven's do-woh.

Hey Hey- Hey Hey Yeah.

I decided this afternoon that I wanna hear Texas Jack cover George Michael's "Faith".

Well I guess it would be nice
If I could touch your body
I know not everybody
Has a body like you

HAHA. That would ROCK!

Well, it seems I may be making a cameo in Stillwater tonight. My first ever adventure into Cowboy country. It will be interesting to see how the other half lives.

I wish my lil sis was here. It'd be fun if she could go with me tonight. But alas, she's just a pup. (And she's six hours away.) But come May 11th, you people better watch out. She's gonna take this place by storm and you won't even know what hitcha.

And YAY! I'm ordering graduation announcements today. Yip Yip. ParTay!

Saturday. Oh Sweet Saturday.

That turned into Sunday. Why is it that nights I say, Oh I'm just going to hang out for a bit but probably come home early, are the nights that turn into very early and sometimes not so early mornings?

Texas Jack rocked as usual. And I can't wait til March 13th when they're playing all night instead of opening for someone else. MMB was cool too. But I was busy doing other things the whole time they were playing. I was making the rounds, tipsy of course, catching up with Andy and Robert. Then backstage to BS with some of the Texas Jack boys (and Kevin, of course). Then it was upstairs to find Ragan and Melisa, and Eric and Katie. Then suddenly it was last call. Kevin invited everybody over. So Robert, Chad and I hung out at Kevmo's watching Dave Matthews in Central Park and listening to those talented among us on the guitar.

I'm officially a Ginger fan. I love puppies and she is so pretty and smart. But Tucker didn't seem too thrilled when I got home.

A little birdy told me that some vintage Bobby Wayne is going to be up soon on Sweetwebsite. There's no way that won't kick ass.

Well, I guess it's back to the grindstone. I'm officially starting the job hunt this week. So wish me luck!

You Don't Even Know.

Sometimes, you just wanna lean over really close, get right up next to his ear and half whisper/half say it. But you don't. Why? Because, you know, if he's anything like the others in your life, one day he will know. And also, because you hope maybe he's nothing like everyone else in your life and he'll never know. And you won't further complicate his life. You hope.

Then there are the other ones. The ones that know. OH. They know. And things are just getting more complicated by the day. But oh my god. You love it.

You know someday it will end. But you're going to have to be the one taking the initiative. It's in you. Somewhere. Someday. Right.

Is there such a thing as a person who makes you wanna forget. No. Who makes you wanna not even notice all the other possibilities out there.

Yeah. But chances are, his hot ass has beautiful children and is married to a girl who only spends his money and hasn't given him hardly any in almost ten years.

No wonder his ass calls all the time.

Click here for my Valentine's Day greeting!

Rock n roll.

the dingo ate my website

So I've been skating by using Front Page. I know, I know. I can hear the collective groans. Well, Microsoft and Cox got together today and decided the web would be better off without me, I suppose.

Can't nobody hold me down! Oh no! So I'm on trusty dusty ol' blogspot for the moment until I can learn how to use my new fancy schmancy software. I promise to have a full blown site back up very soon. But until then, keep on checking out my blog and the blogs of all my other rock n roll comrades!

13 conversations about one thing

So much for my peaceful night at home last night. I headed out to the wormy dog about 7:30 p.m. Which I'm glad I did, because I got to hang out with rockstar Kevmo for the first time in a long time. Upon first arriving, Ragan, Kevin and Nathan were the only people there. Robert joined us shortly after that. Then some random people came in the bar, then Nancy and her friend came out and joined the party. Beers and drinks in hand, Kevin began to regale us with his tales of the road and his rock star life. Then suddenly out of nowhere, he walks right up to me and says, "Ash, I've figured something out about you from your blog."

"What's that Kevmo?"

"You're horny." I laughed my ass off. Mostly just because it took him a good six months to figure this out. Anyway, in honor of Kevmo I'm going to try not to talk about sex today (at least in relation to me).

Kevin had no problems telling us (again) about his adventures at the village inn in Ada. He was even so kind as to draw a diagram of his hotel room and show us exactly how he hid in the closet while hot girl was in the bathtub waiting for him so nobody would see what he was hiding under his towel. Thanks for the visual Kevin :)

Robert and I had some fabulous conversation about history and literature. At a bar. Who'da thunk it? But that's why I like Robert, he can keep up with me on that level. That's awesome.

Every freakin song that came on, Ragan would look back and forth at me, Kevin and Robert and say, "Who wrote this?" I think Robert and Kevin actually tried to answer the question. Finally, I resigned myself to, "Ragan, you are the king of all music and I have no idea so please honor me with your vast knowledge on this subject." And of course he did.

Probably the funniest part of the night was no too long before closing time. Every one is in their respective groups and fairly tipsy at this point. An unfamiliar song comes on. Suddenly there is total silence. Time freezes. Ragan's eyes get bigger than I have ever seen them before. I look up to the sound booth and Kevmo is standing on a chair and begins screaming, "Who requested this??!!" "I said WHO requested this????!!!!" A lone hand rises out of the crowd. He's a new guy with a sadly hopeful punk hair cut and Hurley t-shirt. Then out of the silence someone says, "We DON'T play Kenny Chesney." And Kevin promptly pulled up a stool at the boys table and tried to educate them on the pitfalls of requesting top 40 country at the Wormy Dog.

We left right after 2 a.m. So I took the morning off at school. It's OK I'm a senior. I can do that. Be sure to read Ragan's blog today. This is the man, who at several points throughout the night said, "Are you kidding me? No way am I drunk," after about a zillion beers, a couple of shots and at least one bilge pump. Nice try Ray.

Anyway, gotta get to work, we're going out to eat for Kerry's birthday! Yay! We're also celebrating the big V Day today! Lots of love and chocolate!

a few random thoughts and a story

Today has been so slow. It's kinda nice. I hope it snows tonight. But it won't. It never does when they say it will. Anyway, tonight will be a good night to vegge out at home and watch the re-run of the Sex and the City that I missed Sunday night. I heard Carrie plans to move to Paris with Petrovsky, her Russian painter/lover. I don't buy it. They can't have a final episode without bringing back Big. Which means Carrie will have to stay, duh.

Anyway, I talked to my sister a little last night. I love her. She is one of the funniest people I know. And she's one of those people who doesn't try to be funny and if you just saw her from a distance you would think she was stuck up or something because she doesn't talk alot. But she's just like me. If we don't have something to say, we usually just keep quiet. But sometimes she talks and it's freaking hilarious and she doesn't even mean to be. That's why I love her :)

We both had the same third grade teacher (she had her three years after I did, duh). But she was trying to remind me about these animal notebooks we had to make. I didn't remember them at all until she started describing them to me. And now I remember it perfectly, like it was yesterday. I had a purple canvas three ring binder. We had to find like ten pictures of every kind of animal, mammals, amphibians, reptiles, and all the other ones. I just remember it TOTALLY STRESSED ME OUT. I started getting migraines in third grade, at the age of 7. Thank you Miss Hall. You're a BITCH!! Damn those animal notebooks!! (And those are Dani's words). There's a whole lot of other bitchy third grade stories I could tell you, but I won't bore you with those now.

Well, everybody keep warm and have a good night!

Rock n Roll!

the infamous lunchtime thoughts

Why do I always get more than I can eat at Aloha Garden?
Why didn't I get BBQ today. That sounds good.
Glad that damn speech is over. I've got a good two weeks til I really have to do any studying again.
Maybe I'm just done studying for the semester. We'll see.
I wish I lived in New York with Christina.
Her life sounds so much more fun than mine.
I wish I lived in Malibu.
Someday Ashly. Someday.
Anybody named Vincey has got to be in the mafia.
I don't care if he is the last nice guy on earth.
If he's short, I don't wanna meet him.
I hate blind dates.
I've only been on one or two I think. The first one the dude forgot his wallet--I had to pay. That was our first and last date.
I like to date guys I've known for a while.
And of course, they can't resist me.
I've got to get control over my love life.
But I don't wanna!!
Do they make braile keyboards for blind people?
I bet they do but I've never seen one.
I'm glad the big blow up Chicken Guy doesn't have to stand outside anymore.
Now they have a dude that wears a sign around his neck. But at least he gets to wear a hat and coat. He doesn't look like he's freezing.
God I hope I get some sex tonight.
But the odd's don't look good.

Tony posted some interesting thoughts last night about things to do while listening to Cypress Hill.

Fabulous, Tone Loc! If only all boys were as creative as you!

little cabin in the woods

Christina and I had a nice little chat last night. She said, "My favorite quote is, 'Where's my knight in shining armor? Did he get lost in the woods?' "

I said, "Mine's building a freaking cabin in the woods." She replied, "Well, at least you'll have a home." I said, "No he's building a place where he and his friends can hide out."

So she came up with a brilliant idea: Just look for flyers inviting people to a kegger. That's where our princes are :)

Christina writes for lick.

And I totally agree with Belle on the whole Valentine's holiday.

posting alot. thinking alot.

I've had people tell me it's just because I'm a girl, but sometimes when I have interesting conversations with people, I play them over and over in my mind. Most of the time it's when I've had an argument with someone and I replay it in my mind and think of all the things I should have said.

Other times it's maybe just a few words that someone said that I really liked. Maybe they gave me goosebumps, maybe it's just something I like the thought of and like thinking about. MAYBE. Daydreaming I guess. Over and OVER and OVER again.

A particular someone said a particular something to me during the course of an interesting and rather personal conversation a few weeks ago. I don't know why I'm just now remembering it, but OMG. I really shouldn't be thinking about this while I'm at work and it definitely distracts me during class. It's hard to focus when your imagination is as active as mine is :)

It's all good though. I live for those moments.

I'm About 5 Seconds Away from Saying F Blogger.

1) It won't let me upload pictures unless I sit there and try fifteen times. Who has that kinda time??

2) My blog was down for a couple hours today because I published a regular, old, run of the mill post and BAM! The whole blog magically disappears. So I have to completely republish another page on my website and edit my homepage to show the new blog. This is the SECOND time that's happened.

I may soon be in the market for a new blog host.

Also, if you've never had Chili's broccoli and cheddar soup, try some next time you're there. It's reallllly good!

Welcome Home!

Dustin's been in the Navy and floating off the coast of South Korea and all those places over there for I don't even know how long. It's been years. He didn't even get to come home for Christmas. He flew into OKC last night and is here to stay!

Now that you're home and are legal since the last time I saw you :) You have to come out to the wormy dog and party with us sometime. The 21st would be a good night. Texas Jack kicks ass!

Pink says God wants me to shake my ass.

I love it!

I kicked today's ass!

I've totally prepared for a presentation I have to give on cult psychology tonight in my counseling class and I've written a speech I have to give on Wednesday morning! And... I've interviewed a new volunteer and taken about a zillion phone calls from clients. Yes, I've worked pretty hard today. Keep in mind this was all after I went to class this morning. I deserve a cookie. A party. A gold star. A kiss. Some sex. And what have you.

And Shawna and I have been having a conversation all day long about how the world is filled with married men. They're falling from the sky and right into our laps! What's a girl to do? Besides say no. Or say maybe. Or say yes. Moral implications be damned. blah blah blah. My only advice is that one should tread very carefully when contemplating entering into such a complicated relationship. Use your noggin. That's all I got. My favorite saying on the subject of responsibility is, "You choose the choice. You choose the consequence." Good or bad, you're the one who has to deal with it so make sure it's something you can handle.

Well, I noticed last night that my throat is starting to get a little achey. This is not good. If it's strep I'll go jump off a bridge. I hate strep. Hopefully it'll go away. I have to see Texas Jack this weekend. That's all there is to it.

In honor of the dreaded holiday of all holidays, I picked up the cute little book, Kissing Frogs: A Chick's Guide to Dating, Mating, and Rating when Whitney and I were at Barnes & Noble on Saturday.

It's a handy dandy little inventory list of the things you want out of your love life. So far, here's what I know:

I've kissed anywhere from 10-20 frogs. I can name every guy I've ever done "it" with. (And no, I will not name them here.) And my current dating status is somewhere in between "Looking for Mr. Right" and "Looking for Mr. Right Now."

Here are the first three things I notice when I meet a guy: His hair (if he wears it well or not), his eyes, and if he's interested in the conversation. And the only baggage I can't live with is someone who's been married 2 or more times and has two or more children by different wives or girlfriends. But for sure he has to have dealt with his stuff. Careerwise, money doesn't matter much, but passion and talent do.

Here's a fun one. The ideal guy for me would never:
drink wine at a sports bar, drive a Miata, shave his legs, get his nails buffed, wear a Speedo on the beach, go to a tanning salon, wax or tweeze his eyebrows (unless I deem them in dyer need), or make me pay on a date.

The skivvies have gotta be boxers or boxer briefs.

I am in serious lack of romance and can't even fathom a guy bringing me a gift on the first date, but if he did, a mixed bouquet of flowers would insure marriage. Roses and wine are also good. Chocolates and teddy bears are not because they're too cheezy. Jewelry is bad b/c he doesn't know my taste yet. A CD would be cool, even if it wasn't my kind of music. Maybe it gives me a doorway into what he likes. And bringing nothing on a first date is perfectly acceptable.

There's more, but I'll update as the week goes on and as we get closer to that day I like to call "Who wants to get plastered with me?" day.

You know what's a great movie? Freak Talks About Sex. That's a fun flick. I love Steve Zahn.

So I just finished off some Taco Bell after a fun filled evening at the Wormy Dog. Dad ventured out tonight, and he is officially a fan. I have a feeling he'll be back several times before it's all said and done.

Reckless Kelly rocked ass. Their road manager was kind of a dick to me though. But I won't hold it against the band. They rocked. Travis Linville was equally impressive.

Saw lots o' familiar faces and really didn't drink that much, but still had a fabulous time.

The night ended with a small fiasco. I lost my keys. So it's after 2 a.m. and I'm freaking out because, although I have a spare key in my car, I don't have a spare house key. I used every cuss word I know for about twenty minutes straight. Ragan graciously waited with me as I whined about why these things happen to me. He helped me back track my steps and even got a flashlight from behind the bar to look inside my car. I left my number w/ Julie at the bar in case they magically turned up somewhere. Keys were still nowhere to be found. I called handy dandy AAA to come unlock the car, with no idea still what I would do for sleeping arrangements. So Ragan and I hid out in the Sweetwebsite Van and waited for Mr. AAA to arrive. About ten minutes into the deal, Ragan said, "Wouldn't it be funny if we were sitting out here all this time and your keys were inside and they had found them but they thought we were gone. And they were like, 'Hey did Ashly leave because I found her keys.' " I was like, " Well, I left my number with Julie just in case."

He said, "Ashly, is your phone on?"

Uh. No.

Oh my god. So I turned my phone on. Sure enough, I had one voicemail: "Ashly, this is Eric. I've got your keys."

Apparently they were in the bathroom. I checked the bathroom but I guess somebody got to them before I did. Anyway, the whole point of this story is I'm so glad to have a friend like Ragan who can keep a calm head about the whole thing and wait with me while getting everything worked out. He takes care of me. And that my friend, is why I love my friends. And Ragan is hereby named Friend of the Month. Congratulations!! He makes sure freaky bald army boys don't rape me and he helps me find my keys. I'm so privileged to have a friend like you!!

Anyway, I'll take this whole fiasco as a sign that I should stay in tomorrow night. I hope everybody else has a fabulous weekend. As for me, I'll be doing homework at home safe & sound.

Why did no one tell me that Long Island Ice Teas cause the hangover from HELL.

I can drink the better part of a bottle of crown and not feel this bad.

Luckily I have friends that will run to Walgreens for me while I lie in bed and complain.

My life is good.

5 Long Island's Later...

So I'm sitting naked in front of my computer blogging, eating banana oatmeal trying to get sober.

You can't say you've ever been drunk until you've made the above statement.

Whitney left me way early on tonight. I was supposed to head out right after her. But whoops. The wormy dog vortex sucked me in again. ALL I drank tonight was Long Island Ice Tea's. That's very rare. Anyone who knows me knows I usually drink a mixture of Colorado Bulldogs, crown & cokes, and shots of rumpleminz. Not tonight. I don't know what came over me, but good job Jeff! He just kept 'em coming. I didn't even have to ask. That's why I love the WD.

So this guy named Mike from the Army picked me up tonight. He was fun. I gave him my www so I can't say anything derogatory. Not that I would. BUT I DO have to say that I danced with Mr. Parkerson tonight. Don't let him fool you. He's no lightweight when it comes to two stepping. He knows more than he lets on. He's a little timid but there's a freakin lion inside just dying to get out. And I can say that cuz I'm drunk :)

But for real, Ray. Thanks for calling me back tonight. I feel safer knowing that you're lookin out for me ;) I don't normally do stupid things like take strange army boys home, but tonight... i was all alone, and on those nights, you just never know.

Anywho, I'm home safe, so everyone can rest at ease. But if you happen to be one of the privileged few who have my digits, don't you dare call me before 11 a.m. I'll kick your ass.

Rock n roll.

hello boys & girls

I've got a few minutes before my fabulous poetry class so I thought I'd take a few seconds to tell each and everyone of you how much I love you and thoroughly enjoy your company.

But Ashly! You don't even know me, you say.

No matter, if you're reading my blog, you're probably A-OK. Therefore, your an A+ in my book!

Anyway, it looks as though Whitney and I will be making an appearance at the Wormy Dog tonight. Whitney's planning on talking business with Ragan but I'm not actually sure how much "business" is going to get done. I have a hard time seeing Ragan talking graphics with a beer in each hand. But we'll see.

Anyway, I'm going to go pee, get some M&M's and settle in for an hour and fifteen minutes of Mr. Langston Hughes.

Holla back.

routine

I'll be so glad to get back to the swing of things today. Yesterday, my whole day was spent on the couch, watching movies and eating whatever happened to be in the fridge.

I watched:
1)Under the Tuscan Sun- If I had about $100,000, I'd do the same thing.
2)Pirates of the Caribbean- Good flick, but don't understand all the buzz.
3)The Diary of Ellen Rimbauer- Steven King prequil to Rose Red. Horrible. Don't waste your money.

Forgot I turned my ringer off last night before bed. Dad called at 8 this morning to tell me because of his connections at Clear Channel, he had free tickets to the private concert with Kellie Coffey this morning at the Belle Isle Brewery. I didn't get the message til 9, so I missed out. I really like her. That would have been cool. Oh well.

I'm going to go have a bowl of Cheerios, then it's off to school!

Hope everyone's staying warm!

Oh yeah, look for me soon in the Lick Magazine Blog. I'll be posting soon!

yay snow!!

a little wallace stevens

What is divinity if it can come
Only in silent shadows and in dreams?...
Divinity must live within herself:
Passions of rain, or moods in falling snow;
Grievings in loneliness, or unsubdued
Elations when the forest blooms; gusty
Emotions on wet roads on autumn nights;
All pleasures and all pains, remembering
The bough of summer and the winter branch.
These are the measures destined for her soul.

-excerpt from Sunday Morning

hello lick and tony pierce readers!

Oh the joys of being a woman. Not only do you get great publicity from people like Tony Pierce and Lick Magazine, but you also get to enjoy the thrills and chills of a little thing called PMS. Or as my dad affectionately calls it, "Mad Cow Disease." I personally take offense to that. And of course I would, today.

I spent an hour and a half this morning fuming in my seat in class, totally red faced, because I was sure my professor had given me a bad grade on a paper because he was saying how disappointed he was because it was apparent some of us had not read the text closely enough. Low and behold as I was leaving class he handed me my paper. It was a 95. I'm sorry.

I'm just a little sensitive today, OK. Love me anyway! It will all be better tomorrow!

spank you very much


National Dean's List Beeeoootch! Drinks are in order.

randoms

First, I would like to say what a delight it is to have my PC back at work. My own personal Nick Burns whipped in and out of here and made a quick $85 for his effort. Fine with me. Not my money.

Secondly, I've been pondering the nature of relationships and how they are discussed on the www. I'm thinking of all my web friends. Ragan--all this marriage talk. Matt--married but never mentions it. Whitney--relationships, relationships, relationships. Kevmo-wants it but doesn't post it. Ryin--stays deathly away from any subject coming even remotely close to opposite sex relationships. Then, of course, there's me. One day I want it and I post it. The next day I hate it and I post it. Some days I want it reallllllllly bad (the actual meaning of "it" is to be determined) and don't post it. But some days I do. So maybe I'm just the culmination of all you guys.

Thirdly, Belle and I have had similar experiences with frustrating men who won't take NO for an answer in the last twenty-four hours. Fortunately, my situation had nothing to do with being filmed. Anywho, there's a lesson to be learned here. When a girl says no, to whatever it is, drop it. It only gets very tense and frustrating when you keeeeeep on and on and on. And don't think you can just rephrase the question and slide one in on us. We're smarter than that.

So I guess that's about it for now. Hope everybody's Monday is shaping up to be everything you hoped it would be!

Lick Magazine

Yes, I am a Lick Girl.

I write for Lick Magazine.

Tony's still working out the logistics of the bylines.