*phew*

I need a nap. We loaded up bright and early this morning to go wedding dress shopping for the lovely Ms. Dixie. As fate would have it, she ended up buying the very first dress she tried on. And let me tell you, this is a dress, people. It's one of the only wedding dresses that makes me think... ok, maybe the whole white dress thing isn't so bad.

She looks like Miss America. Damn her.

So we got the dress, the headpiece, the jewelry, the shoes, the pattern for our dresses, and the fabric. And we had lunch.

And now I need a nap.

And I'm trying to forget the fact that when the lady at Helen Enox was measuring us for our dresses, she took one look at the measuring tape around my boobs and goes, Wow.

I'm pretty sure it's a bad sign when even the fabric lady is astonished.

The Dope Show




I ran out of singles way too early. This bitch tried to take my phone away. But I gave her lessons on how to touch your legs in front of the boys and she gave my phone back.

You cannot touch your legs like a man and expect people to put dollar bills in your thong.

Fuckin' A.

Drag show hopping
Hookah smoking
and wedding dress shopping.

This should be an interesting weekend.

Ok, this might be the sweetest thing I've ever seen. :)

10 Bars on a Thursday Night



Originally uploaded by Daisy Girl.

Ryin, list 'em. I'm in no condition to be typing.

Here's the list. :)

Then I had a conversation with a boy who said, "For the most part, women seem to be like sheep. They don't use their brains and they just go along with what they think they're supposed to do/say/think. That's why I like you. You have an ability to reason through things.

But why do you feel like you have to get drunk every time you drink?"

Ouch. And I don't every time...

Then I woke up to a cell phone this morning that said 8 New Messages.

Good to know I wasn't the only one drinking last night. :)

Greetings from the uppermost floors of the bat cave...

It seems I had a uh hmmm... visitor... in the wee hours of the morning. Yeah, he's got a key (and uses it very sparingly... he's proven his worth over years and years...) but I locked the screen door and forgot to open it before I hit the hay.

Whoops. Sorry about that.

Honestly, it's all for the best. I was so tired, it wouldn't have been much fun. And I would have been a major grumpy butt today.

Well, it seems I've joined the late shift at the office. I'm like the ONLY person who doesn't have a kid to pick up from day care at 5, so I get to take the late appointments. Oh well. You know what that means!

Yeah, I don't have to come in tomorrow til 10 or 11. Awesome. More sleep for me. More late night phone sex for me. More late night real sex for me. If I can remember to unlock the freakin' door.

Anybody have big plans for the weekend?

I feel asleep after work in about the time it takes to get the clothes off and fall into the bed. The next thing I know it's 7:45 p.m. and I'm forcing myself to keep my eyes open because I neeeed to wake up. Why? Hell, I have no idea. But the part of me that needs structure, my internal parent if you will, said I needed to get my ass out of bed, get some dinner, and watch tv for the rest of the night.

Now you see why my need to wake was so urgent.

So I stuck a frozen pizza in the oven and got a phone call from one of the regulars. I called him in a flurry of horniness and desperation the other night, mostly expecting and half way hoping he wouldn't answer. But now he's calling back. And I'm sure the best thing for me right now, given my current state, is to fuck someone I have no emotional ties to, just to do it, but honestly, it would be more of a drag tonight than anything. And I could hear the quiet disappointment in his voice when I didn't invite him over.

Ah, you win some, you lose some.

That's showbiz, kid.

Today is absolutely the most beautiful day so far this summer. I love it.

I feel like I'm on the down hill side of the hysteria that was the last two days. Now I'm just really exhausted and want some quiet.

I'll be at home tonight if you need me. ;)

Happy Hump Day!

Wow. That's a nice feeling... walking in the door to breaking news that a shooting has just occurred in the neighborhood you've been working in all day.

I'm telling you people, I put my life on the line every day!

Buy me a drink!

Anywho, last night Jeff and I had some great margaritas and some good conversation about the complications (not necessarily bad complications, but complications nonetheless) that arise when you sleep with someone you're not in a relationship with. Expectations are made, certain things are assumed in some cases, and then there's that awkwardness of The Talk and the discussion about what it all means...

And sometimes, very few times, but sometimes you get lucky (hehe) and the other person is a genuinely cool human being and you're on the same page from the very beginning. We love those. *wink wink*

Then mom and I emailed back and forth today pretty extensively about the fact that when I'm presented with a pretty good option, I tend to start looking around for more. She says I have to choose. I say I'm not ready to choose. And she says Someday you will be.

FA says to relax. And I like his answer better. Just go with the flow. F them til you don't want to anymore. And I'm just wondering if there will ever come a time when I don't want to anymore.

Then one of those people bares their soul to you... and even though you don't want to believe them, part of you does. And you really like it. But you wonder if you only like it because they're half a continent away.

And you don't believe in soulmates anyway.

And the human species was made for procreation. Perpetual monogamy would be like defiling something inherent to our species. Trying to be something you're not.

But you want to fall in love AGAIN. Yes, I would have killed for him. And yeah, I probably still would. And I beg God every day to tell me he wasn't the only chance I get...

can one of you web design brainiacs tell me why in the world my text is getting smaller and smaller the further down the page it goes?

So it looks like we're having a little impromtu surprise get together to welcome C & K home tonight and congratulate them on their impending nuptials. :)

If you wanna participate, be at their hacienda, at 6:30 p.m. and don't forget to hide your cars!! If you need directions, you've probably got my number... or you can call Ryin as well.

There will be champagne! :)

And then, Adam Hood. Come one, come all!

FW: Picture(4).jpg

My best friend in the whole wide world is getting married!

This guy got down on his knee on the top of a mountain and asked her to spend the rest of her life with him.

And she said, Give me 24 hours and then I'll get back to you.

Then he pushed her off the side of the cliff and the funeral's on Thursday.

Right. Just as soon as she could remember how to speak she said yes.

And for the record, I don't think either of them could have picked a better person. I love both of them dearly and never dreamed they'd end up together... my dear, sweet Wormy Dog Kevin with one of my BFF's since I was 14?? But now that they are I can see that it was right all along.



And now I have to start working on my speech.

And Saturday the Bride and the Maid of Honor are going dress shopping.

Hip Hip Hoo RAY!!!

I had the most horrific dream last night. The kind that you think is totally real... I was trying to find maternity clothes that would cover my growing belly.

Holy shit. And I know whose it was. It would have been the scandal of the century.

In my dream I remember telling the doctor, But I can't be pregnant... You know... It was that time of the month. And he said, Oh yes. You are.

Holy fuck! So I woke up this morning half way kind of wondering... ummm... surely that's not possible. No. No way.

Anyway, in similarly screwed up news, I'm discovering I am completely fickle. I have become that girl I always hated in high school. I get nice and comfortable expecting that same phone call when I get home from work, and I like how complimentary he is all the time, and then BAM. It's a week later and I'm like, But the boy at the Intake Desk at the hospital is so cute too! And before you know it, I'm avoiding phone calls and not returning text messages.

I'm serious. If you're trying to tie me down, the only luck you'll have is getting me naked and using real restraints.

I'm as bad as a puppy dog chasing butterflies.

I've got to fix this. This is not conducive to the life I'd eventually like to lead. Unless I invent some new religion like the female counterpart to mormonism where I can have as many boy toys as I'd like...

Meet me at the mission at midnight...

New boy from Full Throttle from south of the Red River makes me miss Ponch. I'm a sucker for bad ass guitar players...

He did not disappoint, once again. AND I got to wear his sweaty hat. Yummm.

Yeah, it's about that time.

And Ryin's cousin is hot.

Yeah, that seems fair.

Out like trout. Have a great weekend ya'll.

I got the pistol, so I keep the pesos...




Love love love love love love love love. But not as much as his bass player was in love with my... well, you know. I tried to divert him, but it was to no avail. Maybe we'll have a talk tomorrow night, you know...

when we get to do it ALL OVER AGAIN!!

I have to pee in a MAJOR way.

Someone please teach me how to be a grown up!

And I'm only telling you this because I had four crown and cokes on a Thursday night when I'm slightly dehydrated and I've been sweating my ass off all day...

The man is SIX THREE, an editor of a newspaper, sees eye to eye with me on religion, listens to metal, is cute as a bug's ear, and his dream job is to move to Atlanta and work for Adult Swim. He's not this guy, but alas, I'll settle. *wink wink* :) How can I not fall in love with him? But unlike these two, we'll be running off to some remote location on an island somewhere to get hitched. And yes, you can all come. And then we'll have beautiful tall babies with great senses of humor, who use correct grammar and have fabulous hair. :) What more could a girl ask for?

And that's all the info you get for now.

It's exactly 12 a.m. and I have to go to bed and be a responsible adult and go to work tomorrow. But come six o'clock. Ummm, responsibility what? No, officer, this is not an open container. It has a lid. That counts, right?

TGIF, ya'll.

Boys and girls, I have to apologize for my lessened presence in the blogosphere as of late. Gone are the days when I had nothing to do except sit in my office, hide from volunteers, and write about my life. I don't even have a desk at this point. A computer? What's that?

But I promise as soon as things get less chaotic and I find a nice little cubby hole to call home, I'll update you more often.

Good lord, it just occurred to me how many crazy screwed up work stories I'm going to have to tell everybody at the bar now. I know Craig will never totally straighten himself up, but I betcha he thinks twice after he hears some of my stories... there are some massively fucked up people walking around out there. And they're procreating.

In other news, I'm eating some kind of swiss dark chocolate candy bar that is like a little piece of heaven. Except it's kind of melty and soft and we all know I like it hard. Yes. I do.

Except right now I'm having cramps. Sympathize, ok. And next time you see me, buy me a drink and maybe I'll sing you a little song.

I wish a certain someone was here to lick my fingers...

Dreams and Revelations.

So here's a really fucked up dream I had last night....

A bunch of us (and by us I mean a group of people I don't even know) were hanging out at a friends house. Apparently, this was a very successful friend because this house was incredible... There was this tunnel/hallway that ran in a circle all the way around the house and you could enter the hallway through doors in any of the bedrooms...

Suddenly it turned into like this orgy/sex party and there were four of us in the bed... under a dark red velvet duvet... I closed my eyes and different people started kissing me, but I never opened my eyes... then the one I liked started in. He was short, round, and blond. (Interesting.) He was a great kisser. And then he... yep... finished. Right then.

So I had to have the "I don't think this is going to work" talk with him.

I got up and walked into the restroom and there were 2 toilets inside. Another girl walked in and sat down on one and I noticed she was crying. I asked her what was wrong and she said, He won't leave my ass alone and it hurts. So I said, Maybe you should tell him by saying, It feels really good when you...

You know, diversionary tactics and all.

And then I woke up. I have no idea what that was about. :)

And on a completely unrelated note I had a rather profound revelation this morning while drying my hair and pontificating the big questions. When I was younger, I wasn't comfortable being with a guy who was complimentary and just all around nice. Something felt wrong about it. I felt like it gave me control I didn't want over the relationship.

And this morning it came to me that it's not giving me the upper hand, it's making me feel cared about. And that's the way it's supposed to be, not the other way around. This is interesting that I'm just now getting comfortable with that.

Someone tell me what the plan is for this weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can already taste the Mekong!

Fresh Meat.

So here's the question:

If you met someone that you totally dug and gave you butterflies and stuff, but you didn't see each other all the time, and you weren't even really sure it was going to work out because it's too soon to tell, would you give up your friends with benefits?

I've never really considered it, but you never know.

What a great day today was. Seriously. I went to visit 4 happy homes today. It was a nice change of pace. I also got to take a few tours of some of the other social service agencies around the city that I didn't even know existed. We've got some incredible stuff around here for people who need help, I'll tell ya that.

I'm so stupidly giddy right now and I can't tell you why. Well, I guess I could, but I won't. Not yet. Maybe someday. Or maybe not. But it's gooooood. I think.

It better be.

Well, Tucker's whining and I've got to go get settled in to hear GW slowly unravel his plan to dismantle the supreme court...

Then mow the yard.

I need a drink.

Ok, day 2. Way more fun and less dramatic. I love the girls I work with. Totally cool, classy chicks. Got to go on a home visit this morning and play with some little mexican kids for an hour.

Fun fun ;)

So much to do, so much to tell but so little time!

I'd try to give you a decent blog in the 15 minutes remaining of my lunch b/f I have to go to a meeting, but there's really not much to be said. I'm missing my time with Maroline lately... we have much to discuss! The impending inevitable outcome of certain situations, lines to cross and uncross, things to wonder about, things to cross our fingers and hope about, new things, old things, cocky asshole-ish things, big things, and far away things.

And ring things. :)

Well, I hear I'm actually getting a desk at the office today. You would not believe how crazy that place is. Who knows when I'll actually get a computer and log in access. But it's not really that important at this point because it's not like I actually have time to even sit down any place outside of a car or courtroom at this point.

Must mow the yard tonight. Must must must. The house is looking ghetto.

Quit being so self-centered and ask someone how their day's going today, and really mean it. :)

LOVE LOVE LOVE! :)

Ok. Sleep was good.

Day two.

And someone just told me I was beautiful. :) Today's going to be a good day...

Holy freakin' crap, man. No wonder this job has such a high turnover rate. If I don't find a good way to/someone to debrief with every day, I will end up in the nut house. Seriously.

Day one on the job consisted of:

Attending court hearings of moms and dads who are having their children taken away permanently because of failed drug tests.
Watching a sixteen year old girl enter the courtroom in her orange jumpsuit shackled at the wrists and ankles while her mother walked in with her (the girl's) newborn daughter. Mom and daughter stared at each other across the court room and cried the entire 2 hours leading up to her hearing.
Sitting face to face with a man who may or may not be raping and molesting his 7 year old daughter and watching him be silent and defenseless before a judge.
Keeping an eye on a 13 year old girl who ran away from a shelter last night and was spending the day in the office with her 5 trashbags of belongings.
Sitting across a table in a kitchen in the bad part of town without a/c and swarming with flies, listening to a mom and her slightly mentally disabled boyfriend tell me how the 3 year old fell on the hard edge of a tiny plastic toy truck no bigger than the palm of my hand and that's how he got the full on black eye.

That was my first day and I don't even have a caseload. And I won't for like 3 more months. This is all just observation stuff. I don't even know how I'm going to have time for grad school, but I'll make it work. I'll be spending all my days in and out of court recommending treatment/permanency plans to judges and in homes investigating abuse and making treatment plans with parents.

This is heavy stuff. It's not for everyone. I love it, but on the way home I was thinking how nice it would be to have a graphic design degree...

And now I'm going to go take a shower and try to wash this day off.

Well, here we are, half way through day one. And why am I home? Lunch, of course. Well, and to change my shoes. Yeah, fuck new shoes on the first day. I've already got four gaping blisters.

This job is very interesting so far. T, a girl who's starting today also, and I have spent the morning running all over downtown getting all the proper security clearances and sitting in on custody hearings... I saw two of my old clients from the pregnancy center there... man, I never knew how real it was until I was sitting there listening to the judge read the allegations. Everything from sexual abuse to testing positive for barbiturates at birth. And Juvi and a youth shelter are on-site. So it appears that the drama is non-stop. I really think I'm going to like it here. Let's hope.

I'll give you a full update at 5 p.m. :)

Well, here we are, 6 a.m. and I've been up for a few already. I'm such a five year old that way. I can never sleep when something big is about to happen. Plus Tucker was jumping all over me and didn't seem to feel the need to get any kind of real sleep last night, so I guess I didn't really either. I woke up to 4 text messages from different people wishing me good luck this morning. :) My friends are great.

Things are happening in my life. New things. Cool things. Things that make me lose sleep. I'm no good with change so I'm just going to try to hang on and see where it takes me.

And I'm going to try to force myself to be a coffee drinker.

Have a great Monday, kiddos.

Hello from deep inside the dark caverns of the bat cave...

I've decided this is the way to spend my weekends. One good show and two days of staying in your PJs and sleeping for like 14 hours.

It took everything in me to actually dry my hair and get dressed this afternoon in an effort to embark on a shoe buying adventure. I need two new pairs and I need them by 8:30 tomorrow morning. And this hair thing is getting outta control. I like it long, and I'd even prefer it to be a bit longer, but it's taking upwards of 20 minutes to dry it nowadays. I need a change. I'm thinking bangs.

Cross your fingers for me on my first day at the new jobby job tomorrow! It's gonna be a big one!

Babies!!



I'm a rittle ronery... just a rittle ronery...

Do you remember the signal?

Ok, can I just say Chris Masterson is the shit? And I don't know what all the rumors are about but the man is wearing a wedding band. Ok? I love him, love him, love him. And I almost ran him over. Sorry 'bout that.


And let the record show that the last time I saw the Future Mrs. Dorman, she was sporting Jack's hat and stumbling her way to the door of his bus. Yes, there are rock stars among us.

I personally blame my parents and the Southern Baptist denomination, but sometimes I want to do bad bad things to otherwise totally decent and wonderful people who don't deserve to have their lives... ummm... interrupted. I can't help it. I feel that diagonal line between the stomach and hip and I lose all sense of reality.

But it's ok, because this will all be gone tomorrow, and it's all good anyways. I've Ms. Maroline to keep me in line and say, Yes, babe. I know you want to, but you don't really want to, do you? And I say, Fuck yes, I do! And then she looks at me with that look and I say, Ok, no. I really don't.

And all is well.

Dave's buying Harry Potter books. It's an exciting night all the way across the country.

Good Lord, have you seen Shakira's new video? No, I can't understand a word she's saying because I'm not fluent in the Latin language of love, but I'll smear black finger paint all over that little belly any time. That girl is a tiger.

I'm glad tomorrow's Saturday. Don't call me til at least 5.

I love you all. Truly.

So I'm totally ghetto trashing it out today. I went to walmart to deposit some money into my bank account (because it was quicker than driving all the way to the branch on Memorial) and I decided to get lunch while I was there. Honey BBQ Chicken and Macaroni and Cheddar salad. Mmmmmm. Tasty. And you know how much it cost?

Two bucks even.

I felt like I was back in school.

Mom's coming home at 3 today to say goodbye. I cried last night when I left to go to Carolines. I'm going to have a breakdown today. Good thing tonight is Get So Trashed You Can't See Straight Then Molest Jack Ingram Night. It might be the only thing that pulls me through.

Another very interesting dream last night... this one was more heavy.

Let's call him my first love, first crush, whatever. He was quite a bit older than me, but our families spent gads of time together so a certain relationship developed and I always wondered if it was in my mind...

In my dream we reunited recently and were on a trip together, but with other people as well. We ended up in the same hotel room, alone. Somehow the subject came up and I asked him why we never voiced our feelings for each other and why he ran off with Lila (his wife, present day). He said, "She was sexually available. I needed to know that at any point when I came home from out of town that I could get laid if I wanted it. And she would. Any time, day or night. To be honest, if you would have been more sexually available, we probably would have ended up together."

To that I replied, "Sexually available?" I was a kid (literally). I was still a virgin. What did you expect from me?

And he said, Well, you asked me why so I told you.

And that was weird. I can't recall every having had a dream about him in my life. The weird things our minds do to us.

From Jenny Jiggles straight to you...

Ok this computer's doing weird things. I can't read Matt's blog frame and I can't read Justin's at all, and it's a blogspot for goodness sakes. What is going on and how do I fix it? Somebody help!

It's too late, I've had too much Weller's and I'm too emotional to even attempt to fix it at this point.

Jack. Yummmm. Lots of lust and Jack in 24 hours... but Mr. Dorman first at Lit in lieu of the horror that is Tucker Road.

Eugene's gonna be there, so you definitely have to come out for that. Hey, Crystal might even make an appearance.

Be there or be officially square.

Going out with a bang.

Wouldn't ya know all the exciting things happen on your last day? I can't just come up and pack my stuff and go home can I...

I hear doors slamming in the parking lot. Great. I'm the only one here and they don't have an appointment. So I walk into the waiting room and they're already filling out an information form. Two very unkempt people, a guy and a girl, nineteen maybe twenty. The two words that came to mind first were greasy and dirty. I don't pass judgment but sometimes it's hard to think clearly enough to get the job done because of the stench.

She handed me the form and I looked at her and said, "Ok, thanks. Just have a seat on the couch in the 2nd room and I'll be with you shortly." He starts to follow her into the room. "I'm sorry. I need to speak with her alone until we finish the test. Then you can come in the room and we can talk about it together."

At this point, most guys go, "Oh, ok. No big deal," sit down and quietly peruse a magazine in the waiting room. Not this one. He glares at me angrily and says, "Why?"

"Because I'm taking her medical history and that is confidential. It's policy. Now please take a seat and we'll be out shortly." Immediately he whips his head around towards her, already sitting on the couch in the exam room, and says, "Uh uh. Fuck that. We're leaving. Let's go. They can't separate us. That's not fair. If she wants me in there, I can be in there."

At this point, I'm completely convinced he's beating the hell out of her and he's afraid she's gonna tell me. I said, "She needs a test to get on Medicaid and she's not gonna get proof anywhere else for free. We can do this or not. But it's 100% confidential. It's policy."

She said, "I'm getting the test. I'm staying here."

So he starts screaming, "Fuck you, bitch. You can find your own fucking ride home!"

Enter a very pissed off ME, "Ok that's it. You're not going to speak to her like that here. What you do outside that door is your business but you will not speak to her that way in my presence and in my office. You can leave right now or I can have you removed. I will find her a ride home."

She glared at him and said, "Go wait in the car." He tucked his tail, walked out the door, and patiently waited in the truck until she was finished.

This place is a mad house today.

Looks like we'll be having a Daisy's Last Day at Work Party tonight with the sole aim of getting trashed for anybody who wants to participate. Looks like we'll be lushing it up at Carolines. Bring your favorite bottle and a full stomach. Come one, come all!

And I hear we're all in for a little treat/unexpected surprise tomorrow night at the Jack show...

The anticipation/anxiety is too much for my subconscious.

Here's a brief sampling of what happened in my dreams last night.

I learned how to deep sea dive. Then at the cantina Luke Wilson cuddled up to me and asked me if he could buy me some nachos. But they weren't really nachos. It was more like cornbread with cheese on it. I only ate a bite off the end but it was good.

I was sleeping and it was early in the morning and I heard someone coming through the front door, so I make my way into the living room to see who it is. It's Ragan, and he's pulling in one of those suitcase on wheels with him. I'm like Ragan what are you doing here? And he won't say anything but hi. I run back to my room to get presentable and five seconds later I hear Matt's voice. We're here for breakfast! And I realize all the employees from Chris's are in my house and walking around outside it too, taking notes. They were having some kind of meeting... and breakfast at my house.

All I could think was, Good thing I have some food.

There was more but I don't want to completely scare you. :)

Hello hello hello.

It's just now occurring to me how hard it is to be ambiguous when trying to use the correct subject pronoun agreement. So I'll just say this:

Somebody tried to send me a picture of the beach tonight.

But it wouldn't download. And it made me smile anyway.

So tomorrow marks a milestone in my life. My last day at a place I've been employed for exactly, almost to the day, four years. Before that, I'd never lasted at a job for more than 12 months... and even that was a major stretch.

But you know what? I packed up all the pictures of my girls today to take home and those are the things that matter-- those girls-- Jennifer, Renu, Melissa, JoAnna, Monica, Raven, and the rest. They came to me alone, scared shitless, and not knowing what to do, most of them. So I said, Well I really don't know what to do either, but we can give the world the finger together and we'll go from there. And things worked out. Like they always do.

It wasn't about the board members, it wasn't about the financial reports or the dogma laid on my desk by way of the USPS every single morning. It was about the girls. It was about being there, and they were and they let me be. And I hope to carry that over into my new place.

And you know, leaving this place, I think about things... you win some, you lose some... you put your whole heart into some things in life that just don't turn out the way you want them to. Then I hear my dad's voice in my head... what are you talking about? You're 25. You're life hasn't even begun yet. There's so much more...

And he's right.

A moment of truth, shall we?

I don't know why, but I'm feeling honest and introspective today. I've been thinking about this eHarmony thing and it intrigues me. And honestly, I think it might be a fun project. Of course, the part of me that thinks this way is immediately countered by the other part of me that says, what's wrong with you? You don't want to be in a relationship, at least not a monogamous one, and you definitely don't want to get married right now. And what about your ability to just up and move at any time whenever you want? You need freedom!

And then the other part of me says, But it would be fun! And I don't have to get married! And honestly, I've exhausted all of my fun resources here as far as boys go. I love them all but they are all not for me in one way or another and/or I am so far away from being what they are looking for that there's just no hope. And I'm never going to meet someone I want to spend more than 15 minutes with in a bar, not because they're in a bar (because me and my friends hang out in bars and anybody would be lucky to have any one of us), but because I'm just no good with the whole, hey let's hang out and get to know each other thing. I'm much better on paper. :)

So I've thought down that road... and if I do go forward with it... I can't tell any of them about the blog. I've had waaay too many potential relationship disasters occur because of people getting the wrong idea from something I've written. They either think they know me more intimately than anyone on the planet because they've "read everything [I've] written," and they just "understand" me, or I freak them out with my sexy, wiley ways. As I should. :) Anyway, it's just something interesting that I'm thinking about while I'm doing all these new things in my life. Maybe I'll do it and document it all here...

That would make for interesting reads, I'm quite sure. Either way, I'll let you know.

I'm looking for a cool bright blue and green toile with black and white accents. I've seen one piece of furniture covered in it and now I must have it.

I've looked everywhere and can't find it. Any of you fabric savvy people have any ideas?

I barely slept a wink last night.

I couldn't shut it off. I realized if I really hooked it up next summer and fall, maybe took two classes each and maybe a weekend class (which really is not that much) I could end up being a 27 year old therapist. Does that sound weird to anybody else?

I don't deal well with change. I usually end up laying in bed at night crying about it. Then it all ends up ok. It's just a routine I have to put myself through every time.

I'm finishing cleaning off the laptop today and getting everything moved over to the home computer to give this one back. And tomorrow I start cleaning out the office. That's gonna be hard. Four years of my life in a little box to take home.

Oh well. At least I get new furniture. Happy Tuesday!

Well, furniture shopping was a bust. Looks like love sitting just isn't going to happen for me tonight. I'll be the first to say it, I'm a picky shopper when it comes to decorating interiors. Mom and I unsuccessfully muddled our way through all the one-size-fits-all major furniture malls in this city and came to the conclusion that everything is just a different shade of itself right now and incredibly boring.

Mom had a good chuckle when another annoying salesman walked up behind me and said, "Ma'am, can I help you find something specific?"

I said, "Yes, can you tell me where you keep the cute stuff?" He smiled, and I said, "No, I'm serious." I did find a really nice bright red oversized, very plush microfiber loveseat that is my fallback plan. Tomorrow afternoon we're hitting Interior Fabrics and the smaller more custom order stores that don't market to the brown/beige/offwhite/leather masses. And mom is very insistent on buying me something that invokes a spontaneous OMG-I-have-to-have-it-I'll-die-without-it reaction. So it may come down to finding a good reupholstering service. And that would be fun because when I'm sitting cross-legged on the floor in a pile of fabric up to my chin picking my favorite, that is Heaven for me. And I may have them do the big chair while I'm at it.

So I think I'll take the day off. What are they gonna do? Fire me?

Who's been a busy busy bee today? Me! Me! Me!

So, as it turns out the state is actually paying me to take their health insurance. Does it get any better than that?

And if some slacker will drop an AP class that's full this fall, I'll be able to overload with 15 hours and be on schedule to take my comps and actually graduate in May (as opposed to the summer). Imagine me with an M.A. Hahhahaa, Hi, I flunked out of three schools and now I'm going to have a Masters Degree. All the haters can kiss it. Kiss it GOOD! And you can rest assured that one Ms. Myrna Carney, Dean of Students at the University of Oklahoma, who happened to tell me that I was actually a "mistake" upon my departure from OU during undergrad, will get a very strongly worded letter letting her know just exactly how her "mistake" turned out.

With honors, bitch. That's how.

I will also ask her to choose her words more carefully in the future when addressing impressionable young students.

Anyway, this evening will be spent love seat shopping with mom. Since she won't have to incur any expenses helping me move half way across the country at this juncture, she's volunteered to buy a new love seat for the living room. Yippee kye oh kye AY.

Let's get this show on the road, folks.

I have about a thousand different things running through my head right now. I feel kind of anxious. I guess it's because I feel like my life is about to change, and that's a good thing. Come Thursday at 5 p.m. I will have officially ridded myself of the south side of the city. That's a pretty cool feeling. Nothing but bad memories and people I'd rather not talk to on the south side, and finally after twenty years I'm going to be able to avoid going near it for good... except for driving through on the way to school in Norman...

I'm spending the day today filling out paperwork for the new jobby job. Man, you can definitely tell I'm gonna be working for the state... I've got a stack of about 50 pages to read and fill out with my name, address, and SSN. And people, the benefits! I wanted to cry last night after reviewing all of my new insurance information. I haven't had a job with benefits since I was 19. Who knew health care that I don't have to go broke for could make me so happy!

And I'm finalizing my enrollment at school... I'm gonna have to get on the stick to be finished by next summer and that's gonna mean taking some weekend classes. Oh well. The sooner I finish school the sooner I get outta this godforsaken red state and the sooner I get more cash. I'm trying to figure out a way to salvage the next year of my life. I've got to stay here for one more year; that much has been decided. Part of me feels like that means I have to put off really doing what I want and letting this road take me where it wants to for one more year as well. And I don't like that feeling. I need to do something productive this year to make myself feel like I'm not stuck. I'm not going to find the love of my life here, that much has been made abundantly clear. I'm probably not going to find a cause worth devoting my time and the rest of my life to in this place either. I think I need to write something. I just don't know what. Poetry's good but it's been done and it's hard to get out there. I suck at fiction. I need an idea. Pitch me something.

Devoting the next year of my life to writing my first best seller's not a bad idea, methinks. I just need a jumping off point.

It's noon and thank God most of us awoke this morning/afternoon without any injuries from the party train that derailed last night somewhere around one a.m.

Poor, sweet Melisa. I've never seen anyone celebrate a birthday with such determination. What? I've lost my ability to walk and most of my other basic motor skills aren't functioning? I don't care! People are still here! We're partying and I want to dance!

She is a trooper and she gets the Party Til You Fall Out Of Bed And Hit Your Head award! Wow, I wanna have a birthday like that.

In other news, it looks like I'll be seeing a movie with Maroline this afternoon.

Dark Waters... fun times.

Freak out!

Crystal Wuz Here

Crystal Wuz Here
Originally uploaded by Daisy Girl.

At Ragan's parties we get drunk and draw pics of Satan on my good friend Eugene's head....

Un

mo

ti

vate

ED.

What is with me lately? I had a rather interesting conv. with a friend last night til 3 a.m., then I slept til noon. Then I took a nap at 2. And now I'm sitting here thinking about how absolutely fuckable Heath Ledger is. And how I have this one friend who's always been very nice and accommodating and very gentlemanly since the day I met him a few years ago, and now he's making overtly sexual comments to me every time I see him.

And I love it.

I live to see shy boys finally come out of their shells. It's so cute to watch.

Well, I'm going to try to get some shop hopping in tonight before the big shindig at the Chateau du Parkerson. And if I know what's good for me I'll make a drink and take one for the road.

Regan just peed on the floor in her nightgown and ruined her mother's party.

Is it actually possible that I'm staying home tonight and watching The Exorcist thus bringing my grand total for nights on the town this week to... ONE? And that's not til tomorrow night!

This hasn't happened in years!

You wanna hear something freaky? When I was younger, 17 or 18, I used to wake up suddenly covered in sweat feeling like my bed had just finished shaking. It freaked me out to no end and I still can't explain it.

This movie seems more and more demented every time I watch it. The demons don't have a good reaction to Ritalin. Who knew?

I hereby dub today the first official Napping and Shopping Day in the United States of Daisy Girl.

New work clothes for everyone!

Tonight, we feast! But first, we nap!

One of the most beautiful men I've ever met...

one of the most

brilliant
intelligent
thought provoking
handsome
stubborn
loyal
republican

men I've ever met...

Is in my shower right now. He's one of my BFF's. Truly.

And sometimes it's still not enough...

Call me hard to please, I guess.

Well kids, the Cali job just isn't in the cards right now. Looks like I'm scheduled to start a new job here on the 18th, which by the way, will mean a wonderful raise for me.

It also means I'll finish my degree on time next year and will give the whole relocating thing a good college try again next spring. With Master's degree in hand, it should go a bit more smoothly and be promising a bit more cash. :)

If I believed in fate, I'd say she's a bitch. Whaddaya gonna do?

It's gonna take me friggin' days to move all the music in my iTunes folder over to my new computer.

Geez.

And I've got a humongous zit right between my eyes. And it's the kind that hurts.

Thank God it's almost the weekend.

Must... say... something...

Steve the Certified Sex Whacko wrote a totally hot post today about an encounter with one of his girls... I'm thinking, man, this guy's a pretty good writer and I'm getting sucked into all the hot, sticky goodness...

Then wham! He kills it. Dead.

The man doesn't like to go down.

When I was sixteen, I would have agreed. I think my actual words were, "Uh, you wanna do whaaat?" But knowing what I know now and knowing who i know now... are you kidding??

You don't go down? Sorry, you're not on the list.

It made my day when I realized last week that CNN has made all of it's video news reports free online. Now I can be connected 24/7. Now I can watch Rove squirm out of this one live and in real time.

I ran into my bff from elementary/jr high this morning... she had a two year old on her hip.

Methinks I need a baby. I stayed up til midnight watching the Discovery Health Channel last night too... and you know what that means! I calculated and I've got exactly 9 years to meet someone and procreate twice before I am officially a "high risk pregnancy." Nine years is a looooong time. This is good because I can't even fathom being grown up enough to be married and have children at this point in my life. Responsibility? Ew.

So today is going to be spent writing my goodbyes to all of my volunteers and starting to clean out my desk. Then it's off to dad's to pick up my new PC.

My boobs are totally showing today.

the cleaning process... you find things you forgot you had...

Ok,

I feel better.

Sorry 'bout that. ;)

Fuckety fuck fuck fuck.

What? You couldn't hear me? I said

FUCK!

I thought today would be better. Good thing I'm wrong a lot or I would be disappointed. My nose is raw, my throat hurts, and every time I blow my nose i feel like I'm busting an ear drum.

Yes. I am whining. What are you gonna do about it.

That's what I thought.

And the last 7 days at my job are making me more and more bitter. You invest four entire years of your life into one place. Into hundreds of people. And not so much as even a phone call.

Fucking prick bastards.

And I am sick to death of getting 7 spam emails every five minutes offering the perfect erection at the lowest price ever. Fuck the fuck OFF!!!

I didn't go to sleep til 6 this morning. I think I OD'd on cold pills. Then when I finally dozed off, I had a dream that Michael Jackson was paying me hundreds of thousands of dollars to blog for him. I woke up soaked with sweat.

What does that mean?

On the bright side, at least mom is back here today. Maybe she'll take care of me tonight. It would be really great if somebody would bring me Three Meat Ravioli from Olive Garden for dinner.

I'm just sayin.

Hope your little corner of the world today is less congested than mine. Seriously.

Well, I've officially emerged from the land of the dead. I still sound like a pubescent 8th grade boy, but I feel 80% better. I slept a total of around 14 hours yesterday... so last night 2 a.m. rolled around and I was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, and there was no drowsiness in sight. I tried to lay down and go to sleep but eventually I just got frustrated that I wasn't in the least bit tired and got back up and watched selected scenes from Angels in America and the Behind the Music: Green Day.

Then the storm came and the power went out and I was left sitting in my pitch black living room alone. It's times like that I'm convinced that if there's a sociopath out there roaming around somewhere, it's inevitable he's on my street, headed straight for my backyard and looking in my windows. Luckily, the power came back on pretty quickly. And it was 5 a.m. before I headed back to the sheets and I remember my last thought being, Ahhh it's the 2nd wave... and the thunder started again.

I've started feeding Tuck 2 small meals a day and he's not handling it very well. I've been doing this for about 2 weeks and it's driving him nuts. He's still getting roughly the same amount of food as always, just not in one sitting. And I'm completely convinced now that he's got a kitty eating disorder because the second his bowl is empty he's at my feet whining for hours until I pour him another bowl. The emptiness freaks him out I think. I'm sure it's because he was starved when he was little and now he's afraid that if his bowl is empty, he's never going to eat again.

Ah, kitty psychology.

Happy fourth... be safe and have fun commemorating the Pilgrim's getting kicked out of England for being religious freaks and their subsequent bloody battle for freedom.

Light a sparkler for me!

Interesting Sunday night finds...

Shasta and Dylan Groene were reported missing May 16th. Their mother, her boyfriend, and older brother were found dead, bludgeoned to death. Shasta was discovered at 2 a.m. at a Denny's with convicted sex offender, Joseph Edward Duncan III. Dylan is presumed dead and the search is still on for the missing boy.

Ever wonder how a psychopath's mind works? Well, Mr. Duncan has a blog.

And in other news...

I recently watched the documentary Uncovered: The War on Iraq, which contained considerable footage of Joseph Wilson, who served as an American Foreign Diplomat for 23 years and is married to Valerie Plame, former CIA agent whose name is presumed to have been leaked to the media by a top White House official. Not coincidentally, he's also the guy who called Bush out on the Yellow Cake comment in the State of the Union address in 03.

Who would really be surprised if this turned out to be the missing link in the case?

I've been rotating between the bed and the couch for the last forty-eight hours. I've slept so much today and I think it's starting to help. Yeah, I still can't breathe and the snot-faucet's still flowing full force, but I don't feel achy/shaky anymore. So that's a plus.

So I just finished up my thin crust pizza and now I'm watching Super Size Me. I've seen parts of it, but until now I hadn't watched it from the very beginning. I wanted to puke within the first five minutes of it, the same way the dude puked after his first double quarter pounder with cheese and his 600 calorie french fries.

McDonald's has one place and one place only: And that's about 2 times a year, drunk off your ass at 3 a.m. And the last time I did that, I was cleaning it up off the bathroom floor promptly at 4 a.m.

I think if I didn't live in the midwest and organic food was more affordable and more available, I think I'd do a vegan experiment and see if I could do it. It just looks like you'd feel phenomenal all the time. Actually, that's one of the many things I'm looking forward to about the possible impending move to the west coast... either now or a year from now... just the food. It's so much fresher and you just feel better after eating virtually every meal that includes fresh fruits and/or vegetables.

Hahaha. He says eating McDonald's makes his penis feel funny. That's weird. Somebody should really look into that. And McDonald's delivers? Who knew? OMG. It's a hair in the yogurt.

I have to go toss my cookies now.

Here we go again.

Here we go again.
Originally uploaded by Daisy Girl.

Time for another ride on the I'm So Sick Train!

No e's please...

tie 'em up, all my old fantasies... put 'em in a big red bow and send them care of me...

So I made some new friends tonight. These boys are the shit. And my girlfriend wouldn't dump me for gurming over them either. :) blah blah blah... they're not opening for Roger at the Viper Room b/c they'll be on tour with "Nuge..." Ummm, Nuge??

Yeah, Ted Nugent.

Oh.

Cool boys. And only half way cooler than my 3 new Aussie boyfriends, and one Brit BF who was apparently 19. It's ok. We did shots anyway.

Way better than watching a lifetime movie. Glad I went out. Tomorrow's gonna be even better...

Suddenly Susan v. Maverick, the new celebrity death match.

Nobody cares, man. I'm about to stab my baby in the eye with a butcher knife but Tom said I shouldn't call the doctor.

Please. Who cares what he thinks anyway?

My energy has wound down as quickly as this week has. It's the magic cocktail of too much couch and too much alcohol. And it's not over yet. I got two invitations today to go to a church sponsored FUNction this evening.

Um, I'm going to have to respectfully decline. If people ask where I am, just tell them I'm at the bar tryin' to get laid. If they ask by whom, tell them a black boy, preferably. And if they don't run away screaming at that point, turn and walk away dear.
It's a lost cause.

Maroline says she's gonna get tanked tonight. I'm sure I'll get sucked in. And tomorrow night's the party. You'll come if you know what's good for you.

I'm up way too early for a Friday morning. But that's probably because I did nothing but sleep and watch the 2nd season of America's Next Top Model reruns yesterday. So I'm fairly rested up.

Turns out cute lawn boy is actually in a band around here. I can't remember the name and I'd never heard of them before. But he knows the guys from Plainview. What a small city this is.

And the allergies are back full force. It's weird. I should have known it was going to storm when I sneezed seven times in a row yesterday. Oh well. If it makes it anything less than a hundred degrees outside today, it'll be worth it.

The ex has called while on his way to work every morning this week. You'd think after the first three or four calls the lightbulb would go off that my phone is off until at least 9 a.m. every morning. (And he's one of those outside early workers...) He's getting attached again...

Uh oh.

Well, TGIF! And have a fabulous day, dears!