Today is officially my last day as an Oklahoman. Excuse me if I resist the urge to roll around in the red dirt while singing OOOOOOOOO-klahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plain...

I have to say, my first reaction is to say goodbye and good riddance. But once I quiet down my bitter side, I really do have a lot of good memories in this place (which is good since I have twenty years in Oklahoma under my belt now).

I have plenty of bad memories too, but that's life. The good ones are the ones to look back on. Like Land Run day in 4th grade, where we got to go to Ray Trent Park and stake our claims for ourselves and our families. Like the high school play Whitney and I tried out for and got cast in in SIXTH grade. It was our crowning jewel. We really WERE more talented and artistic than anyone else in the world! Junior high brought a slew of ballgames and cheerleading practices. And I will never forget dad having a permanent place on the first bleacher at 7th grade football games to whisper to the squad when we changed from defense to offense to help us know which cheer to do. I made some of my lifetime best friends in high school. We spent all of our time maintaining the top of the food chain in the youth group and being completely exempt from all the rules because I was the preacher's kid.

The college years presented a very difficult challenge for a few years, but the growing years are always awkward and uncomfortable. Luckily, I emerged mostly unscathed and with two college degrees in tact. Unbelievable.

So Oklahoma has been home for me. It's where my friends live, it's where I had my first kiss (and first everything else), it's where my parent's divorced and got remarried, it's where my sister moved away from. It's where I've had my heart broken over and over again, and where I found my greatest love. It's where I tried to make it on my own and had to move back home again, and where I finally learned what it was to stand on my own and carve my niche in the world.

So I carry all of that with me back to the state from whence I came. I'm hoping the past does not, in fact, determine the future, because most of my memories from living in Texas involve me sitting in fire ant piles. I'd say my situation has greatly improved.

I've never had to say a goodbye this big before, so I don't think I will. I think I'll take a deep breath, go home, finish packing, load up, move, and start getting the guest bedroom ready for all the friends who'll be coming to visit.

**FYI** As of this Saturday my email addresses will change. Since where I'll be living in Texas doesn't have Cox services, all my Cox email addresses will be going away.

Email me at ashlybrooke@yahoo.com.

I'll let ya know when the new service starts!

So the night started out with Ryin, Kevin and Caroline showing up and having a couple of glasses of champagne to kick things off. Bzzzzzz, it started. We show up to the bar just a couple of minutes late and join the party already in progress. Drinks drinks more drinks, female bonding in the bathroom, shots, drinks, more shots, philosophical discussions, drinks, drinks, more drinks, reminiscing about childhood friendships, water, one more drink, one more shot, I love you's, hugs, Ryin please take me home.

And that was about the extent of it. It was wonderful and everything I hoped it would be. I am muy hungover today but kindof reveling in it. Probably my last Thursday morning hangover for a while.

I still have oodles of things to pack and I'll get started tonight. I think I'm finally motivated. I'm gonna work on the bathroom, the cabinets and all the extras. Then if I get done, I'll tackle the kitchen. Wish me luck!

So I walked into Jamie's office this afternoon and said, By the way, my going away party is tomorrow night. Which means I'll be late and hung over Thursday.

She said, Awesome. Have a great time and I'll see you Thursday afternoon.

You know, if it wasn't for the crazy crackheads and the unmanagable caseload, this job wouldn't have been half bad.

Good morning citizens of the world!

So I've officially handed off all of my paper files and now am sitting at my desk, twiddling my thumbs, enjoying my last 4 days here at the Department.

The poor new girl who got most of my cases seems pretty clueless at this point, but no worries. The only way to learn is to jump in head first with all the crack heads and get to work.

I got the bedroom packed last night which took all of ten minutes. I have less stuff than I thought I had. The kitchen is really the only thing that's gonna take any time. That and cleaning out the random cabinet and drawers in the bathroom. I may try to load up all my books tonight. Which means I'm going to need more boxes. Maybe I'll head out to pop's after work. Man, Friday night's gonna be nuts. It occurred to me last night that I'll be trashing all my rugs. Which is ok, because none of them are really in keeping condition. But that's like 3 big rugs. I hope big trash day is soon. And the back yard is a jungle. Gonna have to get out there an tackle that one soon.

But not tonight. And not tomorrow night.

Well, I'm about thirty minutes away from my two hour lunch. I'll catch ya on the flipper.

Another form of procrastination...

So our one task this weekend was to pack a room, preferably the bedroom, which would take about 15 minutes. Did we? No. Of course not.

Instead, I had a brilliant idea! Let's go thrift store shopping! I always think this is a fabulous idea, but never have I actually found anything worth salvaging at a thrift store. Until this time. At our next to last stop, I headed to the back of the store to peruse the furniture. And there they were. Two matching, sad, little wood laminate night stands that looked like they'd seen their best days circa 82. They were nicked on the edges, but other than a couple of cuts and scrapes, were in generally good condition. The price tags on each said $18. Surely I could breathe some life back into these little things for $36. Besides, neither P nor I have anything to set our stuff on in the new bedroom. At worst, they could tide us over until the new and much improved paychecks start rolling in. So we wheeled them up to front to pay where the kind lady who worked the counter at Goodwill told us it was $18 for the set! Perfect!

On the way home, we happened to pass an old junk looking store and P said we should go in, just to see what it was all about. We stopped in and discovered an entire store full of used brand name paint. We bought a gallon of the perfect color for our new nightstands for $3. We made a quick trip to Builder's Warehouse for new hardware and then it was time to work.

We sanded, painted, distressed, and stained them, put the new fixtures on. And wah LAH! We have a perfectly respectable pair of nighstands for the new bedroom.

And now I present to you, the $18 nightstands:

Good Friday afternoon!

So this morning my boss says hey can you run up to Children's and sign some discharge papers at the NICU?

Yeah.

Great. Just bring back the copies on Monday. Have a great weekend!

Sweet. That's what I'm gonna miss about this job. I have a pretty great boss. She has her days, but overall she just wants to know that all her little worker ants have their ducks in a row, and past that, she doesn't really care. Hopefully the new work environment will be similar. And speaking of. I got an email this afternoon from the soon-to-be boss. She forwarded me an email from one of the board members regarding a volunteer position for one of his friends. The email from my boss read: Please follow up with this new volunteer about the program.

Now I'm HOPING she sent me this email so she wouldn't forget because she's going to be on vacation for 3 weeks in July when I officially start. Because otherwise I have it in me to shoot one back saying, unless you're an OKDHS employee, you're not my boss until July 17th. But I'm 90% sure she sent it to me to work on while she's gone, AFTER I actually start the job.

Anyway, no big plans for the weekend except packing. P's coming in around dinner time and we'll chow down on the town somewhere. Then it's packing, cleaning, and mowing. We're packing up next Friday night, the same night as Kevin and Carl. But don't worry. I've enlisted my dad to help. So dad and P will be loading stuff up. So go ahead and go over to the Miller's and have a beer while you're there. :) We'll catchya on the flipper skipper!

So I went out to celebrate last night and did something I rarely do... I drank BEER. It was DOLLAR. And I drank FIVE. (But only paid for $3. Thanks Phil!) And I have a raging headache this morning. This is why I cannot drink anything but whiskey. It just doesn't work. I can drink literally an entire bottle of crown (this happened at Farmfest last year) and not feel a thing the next day (at least not hangover-wise). But give me a few beers and I'm out the whole next day. I guess this is a testament to the fact that the whiskey has actually become a part of my body. Blood, sweat, and Crown. That's me.

But at least I got to hang out with my boys one last time at the bar I've called home away from home for three years. My plan is to hit Adairs everyday after work until they start giving me free drinks too. Just movin' the party south. And seriously, this goes for EVERYONE. Anytime you come through the area, don't get a room. Call me and I'll leave a key in the mailbox for ya!

Whuddup whaddup.

It's been a crazy day. But a good one. P got a job and it's like exactly double his current salary. Not too shabby. So, I think I'll go out and celebrate his new job! Sure wish he was here to participate! But oh well, the show must go on!

I was listening to Pour Some Sugar on Me at lunch and thought, Man, I'm gonna miss the Wormy Dog. It damn near brought a tear to my eye.

Even though I'll be back on July 29th... Dammit! They won't even have time to miss me!!

I hit the ground running at 5:20 this morning. About 6 p.m. last night he started with the pleeeeaaaasssse staaaaaay. I've done it for yooooouuuu. So I agreed and was back on the road to OKC at 5:30 this morning. I walked straight into a mad house at work. WHY, I ask you, WHY would you EVER even THINK of coming to court weeded out of your MIND when the state's already got one of your kids and is just waiting for an excuse to take the other. So yeah, that was my morning. Needless to say, now I've got one more kid on my workload (but only for two more weeks! Yay!).

But to back track, we loaded up the car and headed to D Town Saturday morning to look at 2 more haciendas. We looked at one and were sold. I told everybody to calm down and corralled them into the second showing, nonetheless. You know, just in case! I'd never be good at that Deal or No Deal game. I need to see all of my options. Anyway, we looked, we pondered, we ate a very expensive lunch, then went back to look at the first house one more time. The kids picked out their rooms and we called the landlord. And now I have the lease sitting on my desk waiting to be signed. Let the rat race begin.

So OFFICIALLY, after weeks and months and years of me saying I'm packin' up and headin' out, you will officially see my tail lights going south on 35 out of OKC for the last time in the early morning hours of Saturday, July 1st. It's all set up and it actually works out. P's got a gig in Dallas that night so we'll get to party and celebrate the new house/life. Dad's gonna be there too. It'll be a family affair.

So I am officially overwhelmed. If you talk to me in the next two weeks and I begin crying for no apparent reason, don't be alarmed. Just buy me a drink.

After all my years of dream interpretation rambling, I'll let you figure this one out for me.

I was dating a guy who had a young daughter, 8 or 9 years old. I don't know who the man was but he seemed very nice. We were in the living room watching a movie on the couch when I noticed nine small, white wood, square flower boxes set in rows of three. They were placed neatly on shelves mounted against the stark white wall. In each box was a single flower. All the flowers were bright shades of blue, pink, and yellow.

I said those flowers are very pretty. He said those are my daughter's. She takes one every month and drops it in the river. I said, That makes sense. It's better than uprooting it.

I've been on the verge of tears all morning for no apparent reason...

This made me smile.

I'm off to the zoo with 5 of my kiddos!

Happy Humping! We're only a day and a half away from Friday! Woo HOO!

Well, on the Dallas note, my future boss emailed me my new email address and password. I'm all official now. And we've got an appointment for a house showing (probably 2) on Saturday. The first we're looking at has a whirlpool tub. The thing could have green shag carpet and oak paneling in every room and I'd still be sold. I want it. I'm in. Where do I sign. Fortunately, it looks like it has perfectly normal carpet and regular white walls. I can definitely work with that. So cross your fingers for us. It's gonna be an interesting trip. Takin' the kiddos to let them get the feel for the new city and probably do another round at reunion tower with them just for effect.

And on a non-Dallas note, I got told what a great caseworker I am today by a client AND a random supervisor. They're losin' a good one! I am kinda sad that I'm leaving the comfort and familiarity of a job I'm good at. But I'm super excited about the new one and I'm sure it'll be great and WAY less stress. :)

I finally get to see my boyfriend play this weekend. It's been like ten years. I hope he hasn't forgotten how! Then when I get back Monday it's on. Boxes, tape, packing, and cleaning. I'm definitely gonna need to drink a few to get motivated for that job. So wish me luck!

It is exactly 10:18 a.m. and this day is draaagging on. There's no way I've only been at work for 3 hours. Screw this well I'm up I might as well go to work BS. I'm not coming into the office before nine for the rest of my time here. I should have taken the time to eat my frosted flakes this morning and listened to the breaking news that our mighty and fearless leader made a surprise appearance in Iraq.

I need to enjoy my slackerishness while I can. When the new job starts it looks like I'll need to be there at 8 a.m., which means my morning commute is going to start somewhere around 7:20. I haven't even woken up by 7:20 in like five years, let alone been on the road. Ah well, it's a small price to pay for a new and wonderful life.

So my boss called me into her office yesterday afternoon and says, you know that shoe box beside your desk? You might wanna take a look at that. I'd never bothered to pay much attention to it. Our offices are littered with the remnants of foster kid's toys, clothes, and other random belongings. I just figured one of my kids had left their shoes lying around at a previous foster home and they'd kindly been returned to the office. So I take the two pink rubber bands off each end of the box, lift the lid, and there it was-- a whole shoebox FULL of psychotropic and other various meds. The boss starts laughing and says I know what you're thinking. But if there was any Xanax or Valium, I'd already have them stashed in my purse! So you're too late!

But if anybody needs any Ditropan, Lexapro, or Risperdal, I'm your girl. (I kept some Prevacid for myself.) Sometimes you just never know what you're going to find laying around up here...

Figured I might as well start changing everything now.

Well, no house yet. We found one we wanted to look at, but couldn't get the realtor to answer the phone on a Saturday. So. We're arranging showings of two more and IF the guy can get it together enough to call us back, we'll do a walk through on the one we found this weekend. The houses are pretty amazing. I haven't lived in a new house since I lived with my parents. So having my own feels like kind of a trip. Man, I'm an adult now. Crap! And the area we're looking at is on Lake Ray Hubbard, which is just about the hugest lake I've ever seen in my life. If you squint just right it's almost the ocean. And if everything works out, life will be good. I'm already visualizing the back yard for parties. I'm ready to get settled in.

So after our scouting excursion we drove around downtown for a while and stopped long enough to listen to the conspiracy theorists on the corners selling their magazines of the "real story" of how JFK got shot. Pretty interesting stuff. Then we went for snacks and drinks at the top of reunion tower. Cool stuff. We stopped in Norman at Othello's on the way back for some Italian food. P discovered he actually digs chicken fettucini. If you know him you know it's a pretty major accomplishment to even get him to sit down at a table with anything less than some form of steak on it. So around 10 p.m. we got back to town and promptly collapsed until this morning. Then it was time for donuts and for him to go back home.

3 weeks. I only have to spend 3 more weeks without him. It's a really weird feeling. Jeez. Who knew any of this would happen. Expect the unexpected, I guess.

So this is how my day has started... I'm standing downstairs in a hallway of crowded people waiting for the judge to continue our cases and give us all new dates. The mom on my case walks straight up to me and just starts going off. Completely unprevoked...

You's lyin! You didn't call the place and get me free classes. I called them and they said they hadn't talked to you no way. They ain't gonna let Martino do no classes for free. You's a liar and I can't wait to get up in front of that bench so I can speak my piece to that judge. I shouldna be in this system no ways. Ya'll are gettin' paid. You just round 'em up. I take cares of my kids. Ya'll can say whatever you want but I take care of mines. Anyways, I got an appointment at Red Rock on June 19th to get my meds...

I never want to be happy to say this, but it just proves my point that when I walk out of that jury room with a date, I'll be able to tell her that the next time she comes back to court, she'll be on trial. In all likelihood her parental rights will be terminate and her 2 year old daughter, who's been out of the home for two years now, will finally have a permanent home.

Sheesh.

So this is where I'm going to be working. Actually, it's the neighborhood where I'll be working. The middle one's actually my office. It's quite possibly the most beautiful street in downtown Dallas. Huge Victorian homes that have been remodeled and made offices and perfectly manicured lawns and parks to take breaks in. And all with a great view of the downtown high rises including the W Hotel. Not too shabby.

If you can't tell, I'm pretty excited about it. I'm super stressed out about my financial situation, but I keep telling myself it'll work out, just like everything else does. I've saved money for a reason and whatever I'm short, I'll pull from somewhere else.

So it's Roger Clyne on Friday night and it's my last OFFICIAL night at the Wormy Dog. I'm sure I'll pop in a time or two before I leave, but this is the only show I can say for sure I'll be at. It's been a great home away from home for the last three years. It's crazy that almost all the friends in my life right now I met at the bar (aside from friends at work). I guess I have a lot to thank the WD for. Without that place, my life would be completely different right now, huh. And I'll be back periodically for sure, just not quite as often as I'm used to and I'll have to stagger drunk back to someone else's house.

Anyway, Saturday we're road tripping to Dallas to look at houses. Got a few in mind, hopefully one of them will work out. I figured out today that I'll have a full 2 weeks off work before my official last day, so that should help with the move. And that means I have less than thirty days to spend with my compadres at DHS. They're all so jealous, and rightfully so. I wouldn't wanna be stuck here forever either. But sometimes you just have to take that risk. Step out. Send the resume. Get the ball rolling. You never know what might happen.

As for the rest of the week, my boss is laying on a beach in Mexico somewhere. So you know what that means, I'm on vacation too. :) Just making sure to check my voicemails. Well, have a happy 6-6-06. And do something crazy today just in case it really is the end of the world.

Well, here it is...the phase in my life I've been waiting on for like three years. I knew it would happen eventually, but nothing really prepares you for what it feels like when it actually happens.

I walked into the interview, spent about an hour with most of the staff, just sitting around chit chatting, then I went back into the Director's office where she offered me the job and I took it. Then started the barrage of phone calls and texts spreading the news.

So the next six weeks will be hectic packing, house hunting, and moving. But not to worry, we'll have a shindig to say my Oklahoma goodbye's properly and there will be a housewarming party once the move is made for anybody and everybody who wants to make the trip to get away for a weekend.

Well its back to finishing out the weekend with all the kiddos in V town. I'll be seein ya around!

Sorry it's all about the job right now, but this is my life.

English professors make the best references. As it turns out I'm centered, committed, and competent. :) Every one of my references have called me and told me I've got the job. I'm just waiting to hear it from the horses mouth.